Christmas Morning

I was going to work up a caption featuring a topic I've been interested in recently (namely adults pretending to be teens but no-one noticing) but I didn't have time in the end so I've done it as a short scene. It's a bit rough but I hope you like. 

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"Breakfast is on the table now! Anyone not here in five minutes will meet a very well fed cat!" I shouted to the family upstairs. I'm not sure if mum would have said the same thing but since I'm driving now, I think I'm entitled to go off book every now and again. 

One by one all three came downstairs. Although they looked the same to the outside world, to me things still looked askew. I only hoped the effect didn't last long or that I would find a way to reverse it.  Either way, this was going to be the strangest Christmas the Davis family ever had. We were a tight knit unit: mother, father and two teenagers, a boy and a girl, but, as I said, things were a little more askew this year and it was like we had all been knocked to the left a little. I had prepared a special breakfast for Christmas Day, some reindeer shaped pancakes with some sausages and eggs, and I hoped not only would they like it but they would not suspect my cooking knowledge was minimal at best. I was the mother of the house, you see, a kind and dutiful housewife, dressed in a very festive red dress, black tights and tinsel earrings. A comical pair of antlers adorned my head and I was wearing a special apron with Santa on. Nobody would think it unusual to look in on us now that a 17 year old boy was the mother of the house. Somehow they would think that my tall, gangly frame, short brown hair and scattering of acne was not that odd for a housewife in her early 40s.

"Sausages from Tesco again?" my husband asked while chewing. "Yes, I got some new ones with apple in. I thought you would like them," I replied. "Well I do, very nice," came the response. This took me aback a little as I had never known my 16 year old sister to be pleased about much, certainly not in the last few years, but now to all intents and purposes she was my husband. Her blonde hair was somewhat shorter than usual and she was dressed in an old white t-shirt, striped shorts and a blue dressing gown but she was still my sister. My dad's clothes fit her perfectly, as did all of ours, only she wasn't aware of the change. That burden was on my shoulders alone, eye of the storm I guess as I was the one that caused this, and I'm not sure if I would rather live in ignorance. I know what you're thinking and, yes, I tried to avoid all forms of contact with her. I had a few 'headaches' over the past couple of days. She still seemed like my dad though from the way he would slump in front of the news every night with a glass of beer to the dirty jokes I heard occasionally heard him say to his friends on the phone. This time though it was the disapproving looks of his wife rather than his giggling son that heard them. 

My mum was the biggest surprise of all. I knew it would be weird dealing with myself, essentially, but I never knew how weird. She came to the table dressed in a Star Wars t-shirt, black shorts and a striped dressing gown, slumped into a seat and didn't speak two words to me other than to ask some syrup for the pancakes. Her body shape was still the same but her hair was shorter and a little spikier than before, less salon fresh, but still with some grey around the edges. Was that really how I acted? I didn't realise that before, well, you don't know how others look at you. If I manage to reverse this then I'm going to make some changes although I would much rather have my old life back today. My mum had to cook the dinner and basically plan Christmas whereas I only eat it and sit on my arse watching TV all day. 

"Kelly! Are you coming" I shouted upstairs. "Yes, in a minute, I'm talking to Kayla." The proper question would be when was 'she' not talking to Kayla. Those girls were never off the phone to each other. I say girls, by the way, but the part of Kelly was now given to my father. He came around the corner, about 6ft in height with long, greying hair but with the unshakable belief that he was a 16 year old girl. My dad was dressed in Kelly's usual night attire, a pink strappy top and booty shorts with lips branded on them and 'kiss-chase champ' on the front of the top, fluffy pink slippers and a pink dressing gown with hearts on. He drifted into his seat and turned his nose up at the food I offered and insisted on some cereal instead as he was 'staying away from fatty foods'. "Mum, can I go to Kayla's for dinner?," he asked, smiling at me. "No, dear," I replied firmly "It's Christmas and your grandparents are coming over so we are all eating here." "But that's not fair!" "Tough. You can go to Kayla's on Boxing Day," I said. "Daddy!" he protested. "Robert!" I added, remembering my mum's usual tactic of getting my dad on side. "Your mother's right, you can go to Kayla's tomorrow," my sister replied, the irony of her refusing her own request was not lost on me. "Yeah, my parents said tomorrow, total bummer," 'Kelly' complained with the phone clamped to his ear, twirling his hair around one finger "yeah, I know right. Face Time later, kay."

"What time's dinner today, Emma?" my sister suddenly said. "About half three," I replied, luckily I retained enough of my mum's cookery knowledge and recipe books to cobble together a competent Christmas dinner. "Oh good," she smiled "just enough time for me to wrap that little gift I got you". I sighed at the mention of her 'little gift' as that's what got us into this situation to begin with. When my dad got back from his last trip to Romania I saw him stow away a small orb under some socks in his drawer. Intrigued, I dug it out and that was when my mum called me downstairs for some help with the washing up and it was in that moment I wished to be a proper adult. The next morning I woke up in my my parents' bed clad in my mum's nightdress and no matter how much I searched for the orb I couldn't find it. Suddenly I thought, if my sister can actually find the orb then maybe we have a chance at changing back. After I put in the turkey, and peel the veg, oh and then there's the stuffing...