The Role Exchanger: Office Christmas Party- Part Three

Disclaimer: The Role Exchanger concept is the property of Morpheus and the original stories can be found at Fictionmania. The below is my own work.

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Zoe Smith slumped into one of the sofas and sighed. She opened her bag, small and emblazoned with a skull, and brought out a small bottle of vodka. A triumph over the lazy shop owner who didn’t bother checking her age. She poured some of it in the orange juice she had been given and took a gulp. Slipping the cap back on, Zoe shoved the bag under her seat and looked at her watch. How much longer would she be forced to stay here when she could be at home writing or listening to music? Only one thing could make it worse and Zoe saw her parading through the door. Little Miss Perfect, Stacey Ambroise stomping in on her high heels attracting looks and smiling back sweetly like a Barbie doll. Both Zoe and Stacey were 17 years old and at the office on work experience. Her parents wanted her to attend to make ‘connections’ and perhaps she would get out of the ‘goth phase’. She snorted as Stacey stomped over wearing a blue dress with a bow around the middle and a large handbag on her arm. “Your parents made you come too, Wendy Addams?” she sneered, taking a seat next to Zoe. “That’s Wednesday Addams and that’s not even my name anyway and yes they are,” she replied. They both attended the same school and rarely spoke to each other and would have stayed that way had they not been sent here together. “How long should we stay? I have parties to go to,” Stacey asked, setting her bag down on the table. “If we wait until the first person goes and then leave about ten minutes later. Should work. Someone should be leaving soon babysitters and all that.” They both looked up as a blue light passed and Stacey remarked that she wouldn’t look as good in the harsh lighting.

Suddenly Zoe’s eyes were drawn to a tattoo on Stacey’s perfectly tanned arm; a circle of thorns looping around. “Hey, we have the same tat, I actually have some respect for you,” she smiled. “What! What! No! No! How can that be there eeeew,” screamed Stacey, her face contorted into fear and viewing her new ink as if it were a spider crawling up her arm. “You mean you have this too?” “Yeah, see,” Zoe rolled up her sleeve, putting her arm next to Stacey’s but nothing was there. “That’s weird? Where did it go?” Zoe examined her body as her tattoos faded and reappeared on Stacey’s body in the exact same places. “Oh wow, you now have all my tats!” she exclaimed. Stacey examined her body with the same look on her face as various tattoos sprung up from skulls to roses to pin-ups. “Check your knickers too,” Zoe smiled. Stacey shuffled into a corner, pulled up her skirt and took a peak. “Eeew! That’s disgusting! Why did you do that to yourself!” she turned and shouted at Zoe. “Not me, not now, you did it to yourself. I bet it looks at least a year old. Oh dear, what will mummy and daddy say!” she replied, laughing. “I’ll have to get some new ones now.” “I can jutht pay to get..what thith,” Stacey felt something in her mouth marring her speech. She stuck her tongue out to find a new piercing stuck in it. More piercings appeared in Stacey’s eyebrows, her lip and in her bellybutton just as they disappeared from Zoe’s face as the holes healed up. “Oh my piercings too! This is great! Now you’re Goth Barbie!”

Looking down at her newly pierced bellybutton with a black skull and crossbones, Stacey smiled a little. She was secretly pleased with the piercing and had always wanted to get her bellybutton pierced. She would have to change the piercing of course but even then it looked quite nice. Looking again at her hand, she noticed she was now wearing black nail polish but even her nails didn’t look as nice as normal, they were cut a little roughly. “Hey, laughing girl, what colour are your nails now?” she asked with a smile. The smile on Zoe’s face started to fade when she looked down to find that her nails were now baby blue and not only that but she now had an expensive looking French manicure, a far cry from her usual shortly clipped nails with her toes changed to match. “No, no, this can’t be right!” she said also noticing that her skin was a lot darker than it had been – and it was spreading throughout her body. Soon Zoe had an all over spray tan, just like the ones she used to make fun of Stacey and her friends for having. By contrast, Stacey’s skin was looking paler, like she had barely been outside apart from her face, which now had a touch of white make-up on. Her perfect blonde hair was now a little less perfect. It wasn’t as styled and looked, messier and less cared for with red streaks in it. However Zoe’s brown hair was now perfectly styled and primped as if she been to a professional salon. Her red streaks had been removed and her hair had a sheen and fluffiness to it, perfectly matching Stacey’s when she had first walked in that night.

“I see we use the same salon. We should get a mani pedi together sometime,” Stacey grinned as Zoe panicked. Picking up her bag, she reached in and handed Zoe her compact. Examining her face, she was shocked to discover that her make-up was now – perfect. Ruby red lips, a light touch of blusher and some light eyeshadow just under her finely plucked eyebrows that were now drawn on. Glancing over at Stacey, she noticed that her Goth make-up had also now been transferred. Stacey now wore black eye shadow, lots of mascara and had dark red lipstick on. They both felt a final shimmer in the room and then calm. Zoe looked down to find herself dressed exactly like Stacey in her tightly fitting blue dress and heels. Stacey stood up a little unsteadily as she now sported a new pair of goth boots along with Zoe’s black dress with a corset wrapped around her waist and a pair of ripped fishnets covering her legs. “So Barbie, how’s Ken?” Stacey said snarkily. “No, no this is not right! I’m not you! I don’t want to be dressed like you! I’m so embarrassed!” cried Zoe, hitching Stacey’s bag onto her arm and storming off in the direction of the toilets, her heels clip clopping noisily all the way.

“ Huh, bitch took my bag,” sighed Stacey, slumping back into her chair and noticing Zoe’s bag underneath the chair opposite. She pulled the skull shaped bag out and started to rummage through it, thinking it much cooler than her old one. She picked out a small mirror, chipped at the edges, and examined her new look. The more she thought about it, the more badass she looked. Mum and dad would freak out and so would most of the kids at school. Good, she thought, feeling happy that she would freak people out. She was tired of living up to what everyone else wanted her to be; going to boring parties with boring narcissistic people. Ooh naughty Zoe, she thought, taking the vodka bottle out of the bag and pouring some in her cup. Time for some fun.

Zoe walked into the toilets and looked at herself in the mirror. For some reason a large cock and balls were drawn in lipstick across the main mirror. Rumour was that Sophie did it but that couldn’t be right, still it was that sort of evening. Zoe thought that she now looked like those vain airheads she hated although…she had never seen herself looking more beautiful. Her skin looked healthy, hair was styled in a new way, which she loved, and her make-up perfectly highlighted the best areas of her face and brought them out. Opening the bag, she took out Stacey’s smaller cosmetics bag and started to freshen up her face. Some of the girls said she looked really beautiful and asked her if the goth thing was just an act and if she could smarten up for the office more often and the thought entered her head that maybe she would. Perhaps she could buy some new clothes, brighter colours maybe and carry more make-up with her so she could touch it up more often and be more presentable. Stacey’s phone bleeped with a text message showing the address of another party. Maybe she should go and freak everyone out. Really show all those airheads what she could look like. Yes, perhaps leave here just after she finished touching up her mascara.

Steve, now calling himself Steph, wandered into the toilets and did a double take as she saw the new Zoe pass by. Wasn’t that the grumpy intern who broke her coffee mug last week? She sighed, it was madness out there and she wanted a bit of peace, Looking at her new self in the mirror she mused that this was going to take some getting used to. She glanced over at the cubicles behind her with apprehension and a full bladder. Did it all still work the same ‘down there’? Of course, there were some obvious changes but hopefully since she was a newborn woman, so to speak, she would have at least a month to get used to her new body until it became time for her period. Just then, Steph heard a shriek come from the cubicles and a woman emerged sheepishly, cheeks redder than a field full of roses, with a large bulge protruding from under her tight black skirt. Steph knew that the other side of that wall, in the men’s toilets, one man had just had a new vagina emerge. Perhaps she better go and lend an understanding ear to them both. Looking out of a half open window, she caught sight of what she thought was a shooting star, streaking blue across the sky, but it was really the Role Exchanger searching for its next destination.

The End 

The Role Exchanger: Office Christmas Party - Part Two

Disclaimer: The Role Exchanger concept is the property of Morpheus and the original stories can be found at Fictionmania. The below is my own work.

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As Tim picked up his plate, hoping to eat something to take the taste away, he was treated to the sight of Kim Leighton with a chicken leg hanging out of her mouth piling up her plate. This was odd because he knew Kim was an aspiring model and he couldn’t ever recall seeing her even eat before. Stranger still, Kurt Willis was nibbling on a small stick of celery. A large 45 year old man and the head of the IT department, he was usually the first in line for the food, shovelling it all down, but here he seemed quite content. Perhaps his wife had him on a new diet. In reality, Kurt had suddenly become disgusted at the amount of food he had eaten and at his figure in general. He needed to get slim and fast. Kim, on the other hand, couldn’t help but throw her eating habits in the bin. She suddenly became very hungry and suddenly her figure wasn’t that important to her. She just wanted to eat, to sample everything on the table. If she didn’t try it all now then someone would get there before her and she couldn’t allow that to happen. Just think of all the great food she was missing out on.

Tim managed to wrestle some food away from her and found a quiet place in the corner. He wasn’t sure where Natalie had gotten to but she was welcome to his cigarettes. He looked up and saw Sophie Bellingham stroll by, her hair tied back in a harsh ponytail, immaculate make-up and a Chinese style red and gold dress carrying a black clutch. “Evening,” he smiled at her. She barely looked up except to acknowledge him with a stony “Tim.” Sophie was the ice queen of the office and no one really wanted to get in her way. She was probably here under protest and at Herbert’s insistence. After an hour or so of fake smiling she’ll probably slink off to a better party elsewhere. Walking into her office to check that everything was locked tight, lest these drunken animals lay waste to it, she passed Frank Watson who had a few drinks already. He was probably planning some kind of awful joke or prank or embarrass himself as usual. Last year, he drew a penis on the boss’s door and led a conga into the car park while wearing a ring binder on his head and with one clamped to the zip of his trousers. Sophie sighed as she passed him but was still wondering what he was about to do. So was he.

Frank was poised by the photocopier about the remove his trousers and make some copies of his arse but he was having second thoughts. It seemed like a good idea when he came in, hilarious in fact, but now it didn’t. It seemed hideous, moronic and embarrassing and he could see that now. He also felt quite sober despite the fact of having at least three pints before he arrived. Instead of lifting the lid of the copier, he straightened up his suit and his tie and headed to the toilets to check his appearance. Suddenly he didn’t feel like he wanted to be here after all, there were probably better things he could be doing like catching up on his work at home before the Christmas break. Perhaps he could just do a quick walk around to be friendly before heading out. “Huh, wuss,” snorted Sophie, knocking back another free glass of wine as she watched him walk away. Usually she didn’t drink but found that she needed to and it felt like she had been drinking heavily the whole evening anyway. Taking out her hairband, her hair cascaded down her shoulders and she stumbled over to the copier. Wouldn’t it be hilarious to photocopy her arse? Frank clearly wussed out of it but she was up for anything and immediately pulled down her knickers (the ones rumour has it were locked onto her body with a steel padlock and combination lock), hitched up her dress, tight as it was, lifted the copier lid and planted her pert, round bum right on the glass. Gleefully, she hit the copy button ordering at least 50 copies to start off with. After that she would copy her breasts. That would be so hilarious! She could also put them up all around the office and hide them in lots of important files and books so that months from now people would be going about their work and find her arse cheeks starring back at them. So funny! Screw Kate’s stuffy dinner party over in Leversham, she wanted to stay here and enjoy herself.

Two different groups were sharing the soft seating area in the main reception area and the Role Exchanger was always attracted by that and couldn’t resist checking it out. The IT guys were engaged in one of their regular discussions on the merits of various horror films while some of the admin girls were having a catch up on the office gossip which bled into the latest celebrity and talent show news. Normally such things bored Gareth to death but today, while overhearing some of their chatter he started to find it really interesting and began wishing he had watched some of these shows rather horror and sci-fi films night after night. Wasn’t that kind of dorky? Surely the other guys wouldn’t miss me, he thought as he drifted away from their ratings of the Friday The 13^th series. Quietly, he shifted over to the girls’ side and asked about the result of The X Factor.

The girls welcomed him in all except Stacey who was glad of the break in conversation as she too had been bored. A tall blonde in a tight, grey dress, she usually had all the latest celebrity news lined up on her phone from various apps ready to discuss it. She got up and was about to get herself another drink when she overheard the guys talking about a brutal killing from Saw III – and it sounded so cool! Stacey immediately sat down and asked to join the conversation despite never seeing a full horror film in her life. The guys were a little wary since Stacey had rarely spoken to any of them but she seemed really enthusiastic and they were soon recommending her tons of movies to watch. Gareth received his share of nominations for new TV shows, gossip mags pressed into his hand and a promise to join their Strictly Come Dancing discussion group. As the night continued Gareth and Stacey wouldn’t be the only ones to switch groups. 

The Role Exchanger: Office Christmas Party - Part One

Disclaimer: The Role Exchanger concept is the property of Morpheus and the original stories can be found here at Fictionmania. The below is my own work.

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The Role Exchanger drifted through the Eastern Way Industrial Estate on a cold winter’s night’s night, its blue light perfectly aligning with the clear sky. The estate was clear but for a few office blocks with their lights still on. One such office was that of Albert and Co Plumbing Supplies. Gerald Albert had just finished his latest report to the shareholders and had bid goodnight to trusty George, the security guard. They both remarked at how clear the sky was and that there appeared to be a strange blue light up there for just a second. Gerald stepped into his jaguar and immediately the CD player started up with his chosen disc of Beethovan’s finest symphonies but strangely he didn’t feel in the mood tonight. No, the music was boring him. He needed something with a good beat, something you could sing along to, so he switched on the radio and settled on Rock Radio as Meat Loaf’s Bat Out of Hell screeched out at him. He smiled and started to drive away pondering that night’s entertainment. For some reason the planned documentary he had recorded on Canadian Beavers didn’t strike him interesting enough, thinking of the word ‘beaver’ actually made him snigger a little like a schoolboy. Perhaps something with a little more action like a good Stallone or Van Damme movie. Not that he had seen any of course but he knew he could stop off at a petrol garage and pick some up cheaply. By coincidence George, a well known rock fan, couldn’t get Beethoven’s ninth symphony out of his head after hearing a small snatch of music from his boss’s car and on his next break Classic FM will be heard emanating from his security hut.

The Role Exchanger would be long gone by the time that happened though as the alien entity drifted on through the near desolate industrial estate. One block had its lights on and music blaring out however as J.R Murdoch Ltd was having its annual office Christmas party. Attracted by the signs of life, the Role Exchanger took a detour and headed straight for the offices. It managed to sneak in behind sales manager, Steve Roberts who was looking forward to letting down his hair for the night. Dressed in a red shirt and black trousers he marched over to grab some of the buffet. Taking a plate from the pile stood Lucy Rogers dressed in a patterned purple top and knee length black skirt with her long brown hair flowing down her shoulders. She normally dressed all in black with her hair tied in a bun but now it looked like she had relaxed a little for the party and Steve was attracted by this new side of her. He immediately made a beeline for her and started to chat as they lined up to collect their food. Lucy then noticed that the lights were a little bright and Steve agreed. There had been an odd blue light shining ever since he walked in.

Suddenly Steve felt an odd tingle ripple through his body and without thinking grabbed the belt of his trousers as they were about to fall. His hand was now smaller and more feminine with long nails. The rest of his body had changed accordingly and his new slender frame was unable to keep up his trousers while his red shirt hung loosely around his shoulders with his new breasts barely making themselves known. As his new, long brown hair draped over his shoulders, he looked like a woman who had just awoken from a night of passion and put on her boyfriend’s shirt. Steve had also lost a couple of inches of height while it looked like Lucy had gained it. “What the fuck has happened to us!” he exclaimed. “I don’t know,” she replied having just also gained a fully male body. Her hair had shortened into a new style and her breasts had disappeared into rock hard pecs. Unfortunately her clothes were unable to take the strain of her new muscley body and had begun to tear. She immediately took off her heels as they had begun to dig into her new, bigger feet. A large and noticeable bulge also appeared in her skirt. “We have to get out of here,” she added.

Luckily at that moment a distraction was provided as Nayla, one of the secretaries, let out a scream as she suddenly aged over 30 years. Entering the party as a 28 year old, she was now in her late 50s having traded ages with the now young looking senior manager Herbert. Steve took advantage of the commotion and noticed that one of the offices were free. He grabbed Lucy’s hand to drag her in but could no longer move her and in fact his shoes kept slipping off his new feminine feet. Luckily Lucy saw what he was trying to do and dragged him in there herself. It gave her quite a rush to be the strong one for once. Inside the empty office both began to strip off as the changes their bodies had gone through had negated any nervousness at their nudity. It was now perfectly clear that they had both switched gender. Steve suggested they switch clothes and leave quietly and Lucy agreed. As she pulled on his boxers, jeans and shirt, he started puzzling how to put on her clothes. She laughed (her giggle now a manly chuckle) and helped him with his new bra and suggested how to put on her tights as well as helping him into her heels. At least their swap had left them with roughly the same clothes size as each other. Steve felt frustrated by his new stature while Lucy began to enjoy hers.

As they opened the door, intending to make a quick run to their cars, they felt enticed by the music. Everyone else seemed to be in disarray as well as it was clear that more changes had taken place. Lucy felt more confident now and was just itching to see what her new body could do – and who had suddenly given her a boner. Steve decided to stay for a few drinks. Perhaps he would be in a better place to charm the boss. Unfortunately his new gender also made him a target for some of the more drunken men in the office and their endless supply of mistletoe.

Natalie and Tim were talking in the corner. Tim put down his drink and headed for the door. “Back in a minute, just going for a smoke,” he said as she sighed. They had been going out for 6 months now and one of the only things they disagreed on was his smoking. “I told you, you should get one of those vape things,” she replied. “Nothing like the real thing,” he added. “Well, enjoy the rain,” she smiled as a blue light caught her eye. “I won’t,” he said, walking down the stairs. The lingering smoke from Tim’s jacket, now resting on the back of the chair suddenly set something off in Natalie. Usually she found it a turn off, it used to get right up her nose, but now there was something so warm and familiar about it. She grabbed the jacket, put it around her shoulders and headed outside after Tim.

Sheltering from the rain, Tim just about got his cigarette lit but started coughing as the disgusting taste spread throughout his mouth. It can’t be the brand he always bought the same? Why was the taste so terrible? How had he managed to smoke this much for the last ten years? Suddenly Natalie appeared from behind him. “Say, um, maybe I ought to try one. I never have before,” she said meekly. “Here, knock yourself out,” Tim sighed, passing her his still burning cigarette. He felt frustrated and smoking was supposed to relieve that but perhaps he was better off without it. Natalie seemed to be enjoying it though and indeed it felt like a comfortable old habit to her. This was great; all her frustrations seemed to drift away. What hadn’t she been doing this before? “I think I’m going back inside and get some food, are you coming?” Tim asked. “Actually I might stay for another,” she replied, already thinking of nipping to one of the nearby shops for her own pack. “ Here you go,” he said, pressing his half empty pack and lighter into her hand. “Enjoy the rain,” he added, heading inside.

The Role Exchanger: Office Christmas Party - Preamble

Last Christmas I started writing a Role Exchanger story set around an office Christmas party...and didn't quite get it done in time. I did use some of it as a caption for 25 Caps of Christmas 2015 on Rachel's Haven and put another bit up on here. I did intend to finish it off and put it all up on here...and then it got later...and later. A few weeks late doesn't matter but it got so late I didn't bother and left it.

I've finally finished it this year (mainly because leaving it yet another year would seem silly) and intend putting it up here in about three parts over the next few days. It's still a bit rough and may sound like Morpheus in places mainly because, not trying to directly rip him off, but I've included a few phrases and ideas to help with the feel of the thing.

So why haven't I put it up on Fictionmania? A little bit scared to be honest which is odd because I used to write fan fiction about various TV shows and post it on a couple of sites about 10-15 years ago.

Hope everyone enjoys it.

New Dress

I may be turning into a bit of a rockabilly girl judging by some of the dresses I've been looking at recently.

I bought a new dress today. The second in as many weeks. I still feel a bit sheepish trying them on in the store but the fact that I am now is at least a step up. It always feels so good when it fits though and actually looks good. I think I've gone down a dress size now and hopefully my weight won't go back up anytime soon otherwise there's a few things that may not fit anymore. It's a lovely dress too and my only regret is that I don't really have the curvy figure to go along with it. Oh, and it could be a bit shorter too. I still seem to be getting more knee length skirts and dresses and I tend to go for larger sizes because of my broad shoulders. I've had some nice comments about my legs and I would like to show them off a bit.  

Otherwise, I'm looking forward to Christmas tomorrow and some time off. Hopefully I may have some occasions coming up I'm going to dress for especially New Year's Eve for which I have a lovely dress I'm going to wear. Never know what I'm doing for New Year's not less actually looking forward to it.

Working from Home and Dressing for it

So it turns out I may have the opportunity to do more working from home in the NewYear. Now, despite my moans I don't mind coming into the office and at least it's structure which I'm not sure I could give myself.

However...it would of course give me the opportunity to properly dress for work for once. No slacking here, perhaps a nice skirt suit and tights along with a pair of heels or at the very least shiny black court shoes perhaps with a bow on top. A nice blouse maybe with a pussy bow or a bow tie (quite popular these days). A nice short skirt or long one tightly wrapped around my legs. Immaculate make-up including painted nails with some subtle jewellery. Perhaps a nice dress with Peter Pan collar or perhaps a jumper if I'm feeling casual.

Mmm maybe this won't be so bad after all...

Money or Humiliation

Ok, so I should probably detail a few things that have happened recently.

1. I saw a lovely pair of shorts the other week (there may have been some fantasizing) so today I took the opportunity to try them on in the store. Top tip if you're planning on trying them on in store: take a few pieces (depending on what the store allows) of male clothing around with you to hide your real purchase. I grabbed a t-shirt and did this and then the unthinkable happened - I actually bought the t-shirt. I know, I must be sick in the head (in my defence, it did have a snow Dalek on the front). Unfortunately, the shorts were a bit too big for me (I'm actually surprised I seem to have gone down a size) and, bizarrely, I would have liked them to have been a bit shorter. Did feel a bit embarrassed though when the shop assistant asked if I wanted them put back after I failed to put them on the return rack. I mumbled 'yes' and walked away sheepishly. 

2. As you know, I've had some thoughts about telling my parents and I haven't done so in so many words yet but last week my mum did some repair work on a dress for me. I kind of covered this by making some cosplay excuse although she has been asking why I keep dressing up like a girl. I still have another dress I need some sewing done on so I may ask her again. Now I could just go to a shop in town and ask them and it would be a fraction less uncomfortable. It just goes to show I value money over embarrassment.

3. I've been shoe shopping again recently, seen a few things but not bought anything yet. I feel the need to buy a pair of boots for going out plus maybe a fleecy lined pair for the winter (along with more leggings). Now I've actually started going out dressed, I've started think more practically which is rather exciting rather than buying a dress, trying it on once and putting it away.

4.I have been thinking about necklaces too. I've seen a lovely heart one but I think it's too big for me (is a heart a bit too cliche too?) but I expect I'll find something. Frances on this year's The Apprentice always has a nice key necklace on and that looks cool. It is a learning curve after all, I'm still finding my style which at the moment veers between chavvy and preppy. There is a part of me that really wants to try on some trashy stuff just to see how it looks. 

5. I'm spending a lot of time clothes shopping at the moment (not actually buying much I add) and I'm really excited. There's just so much I want to buy and I'm holding myself back a little. 

6. The other week a friend of mine said I now dress like Amy Pond, (not referring to the crossplay) and I suppose I do and it feels quite cool although technically I think that outfit was half Clara and half Amy but perhaps more intriguingly it wasn't a million miles away from what I would have been wearing anyway. Jumper, jeans and trainers. Just a bit more girly. 

7. The dress code at my work has tightened up a bit recently so I'm now in a suit a lot more. I find it ironic that in a year I've started to dress more that I'm almost being forced back into a stereotypical male look. Now, I could propose the idea of wearing a skirt suit but that may be a step too far.

About Last Night

So, leading on from my last post, I did indeed go to a birthday party dressed last night (still fully clothed, to avoid confusion, well that's a misleading phrase although I doubt with my face and body there's a lot of confusion going on but, well, if there was it would be good for the ego).

Now, my primary concern was the travel and I'm happy to say that nothing really happened. It was much easier to open the door this time perhaps because I was a bit more convicted this time around. This had been in the back of my mind, and the outfit I wanted to wear, for most of the week. I knew what outfit I wanted to wear too and, apart from a few tights based considerations for the cold and rainy weather. For those that want to know, I wore a beige jumper with Peter Pan collar, blue denim mini skirt, black tights and a pair of Chuck Taylors. I've also found out that it helps with my nerves if I listen to music or a podcast on the way so I spend most of my time with my earphones in. This journey was a bit long and involved a walk, train journey, walk through a shopping centre, tube journey (including through the Death Star AKA Canary Wharf station. To further explain the hilarity of this joke, they filmed parts of Rogue One there) and another walk trying to find the place.

A couple of incidents stick in my mind and possibly that was due to my paranoia. I passed a guy while I was walking who definitely said something but I couldn't make it out because of my headphones. Probably nothing, probably just talking on his phone. There was an older lady who appeared to be looking in my general direction on the tube but she was just looking for a seat and then while walk on the way back there was a girl who appeared to be trying to look up my skirt. Not sure what to make of that. For the rest of my night, no-one even commented on my appearance although some of the girls I was with did say that I could wear a smaller size than I and perhaps I could wear a shorter skirt. Indeed, I have had much appreciation for my legs. Of course, if a transvestite standing at the bar doesn't seem to get noticed in an effort to get served I'm not sure about anyone else.

The Silhouette

It's been quite a busy few weeks and I think it shows just how far I've come that any one of these things would have, at one time, been huge steps for me.

One thing is that I've had the conversation about my crossdressing with my roommate, a friend of mine for over 20 years, and he's fine with it. Only done it once in front of him (bit too cold for tights in this house at the moment) and it hasn't really changed anything as I thought it might.

A few weeks ago, I went for a weekend away in a large town in the north of England and on one of those days decided to dress, spending most of the day in a glittery jumper, blue skirt and leggings. I was quite pleased, I walked around the town and even went for a meal with my friends although we spent most of the day in the hotel. Everyone was fine with it and the only time I felt uncomfortable was when I was at close quarters with someone in a lift. Indeed, the only time anyone questioned my choice of attire was in a lift when one girl asked why I was "wearing a girls top". I didn't answer in the end because by that time the lift stopped and I got out.

Now, why the title? Well, I was thinking about the last time I dressed in public a couple of months ago and why I was so annoyed with myself. I never added at the time how much of a wrench it was to walk out the door that evening and it certainly took an alcoholic contribution but sometimes I reach the point where I just want to do it and to hell with the consequences. The rage and frustration just builds up so much I just want to throw myself into the fire, or dance into it as Duran Duran would have it, and take whatever is thrown at me. Nerves do get the better of me at certain situations and despite initial nerves I reach a point where I just don't care about it any more and just want to get it over and done with. Don't want to be scared any more.

Anyway, back to the title, after the last time I figured out that I'm not used to the silhouette. I'm used to looking down and seeing a pair of trousers, not a skirt and my legs (which I have been told look wonderful) in tights or leggings. It looks unusual. I started to think about this after going to the toilet in that pub and a friend remarked that it was 'weird  to see a skirt coming down the stairs'. In the nicest way you understand. Another friend later got me to have a word with him as he was scared he had offended me. I have to accept that as me now and once I get used to it, I think things will be better. Wearing a jumper or top is different, mainly because I can hide it but you can't hide the bottom half so well.

As a brief update on clothes and make-up, I have bought another couple of tops (one I'm still waiting for, Amazon), tried lipstick briefly and also continued to paint my nails. Last week while out drinking with friend's again, one pressed some nail varnishes into my hand while at the bar. I'm so grateful to this woman for a lot of things. When she first saw me dressed, she asked whether I had always felt odd wearing trousers (or something to that effect, I can't quite recall at this late hour) and I was quite taken aback. I had never considered anything like that. Anyway, she passed me them at the bar in case I didn't want anyone else to see which is very considerate although it has strengthened my resolve. Why should I be ashamed of this? I'm only wearing clothes after all.  I should own it more, not feel so ashamed. Then again it's not as if I've not been in a fight or been threatened in my life and that was wearing my normal clothes. I wear a suit every day for my job and that seems to draw all sorts of people to you thinking that you've got pots of money to give away (bust my lip the other week after I slipped over trying to run away from someone, true story). I think also because I expect it, I can front it out a bit more.

All of which leads me up to the present and another birthday party at a London bar (I'm not an alcoholic, honest) this coming weekend in which I'm considering/really wanna dress for. My earlier experiences have led me to another source of frustration and that is travel. When I'm with my friends, I'm fine and even up north there was a hotel in easy running distance but like the other month and this up coming weekend I will have the stress of train and tube travel, feeling that everyone's starring at me. I think it goes back to feeling at close quarters with someone. It doesn't help that a football stadium has recently been built on the line I travel on. I guess the only way to get over this is to do it more until I get more relaxed with my new silhouette.  

October Update

So, I've been meaning to update this for a while and as always it seems to slip away from me. 

September has been a bit of a lean month for me money-wise with changes in my payment structure so I've had to make a conscious effort to save which means no money for new clothes. I'm thinking about more shoes now and perhaps more experiments with make-up. I would love some more dresses, tops and at least one more black skirt. Work has also been crazy busy recently and I'm feeling more and more overwhelmed as the days go by. There's also the thought at the back of my head that I'm going to end up in real trouble one day

No more trips out dressed although I expect to have some this month and it may get a bit hectic. I also need to get a couple of my dresses repaired at some point. Just a couple of bits of sewing needed. I usually take things to my mum but that's out for various reasons and any knowledge I did have from school has now been forgotten but I wouldn't trust myself to do it anyway. Still, I am considering learning. 

My latest experience seems to have made me more convicted, if anything. I've always said that I needed to allow myself to look at clothes in a different way and I'm certainly doing that now. I keep noticing outfits and clothes I like and there's no hesitation at all. I now get a pang in my chest when I think about it and I get excited. Not nerves or dread but something more. It's becoming something I need to do. This is still a work in progress of course, I'm still developing my style and my feelings are ever changing. I went into some shops today and couldn't help but feel self-conscious, like everyone was looking at me like I was some kind of deviant, for want of a better word. It didn't stop me looking but I certainly felt like all eyes were upon me. One tip is to stick to the jewellery section though, people think you're looking for a present for someone. I've started wearing my leggings a lot and they seem to make me feel more relaxed when I wear them with a skirt so I may be doing that more. 

It feels odd being so out in the open, to most people anyway, now.  

After a Week

So, it's been a weird week.

After what happened last weekend, I just kept throwing it all over in my mind, trying to work things out. For example, why I felt so bad this time rather than a couple of months ago. I think at that time it was a nice sunny day in a small area and I had gotten used to the situation, the people and general vibe (plus had drunk quite a bit) whereas last week it was raining and I had a lot more angst since I had to travel and wasn't sure how I would be received even though I was among friends. I still felt like I stuck out like a sore thumb and in most of the photos I look miserable. I guess it was still a positive experience all told though and it would be easier if I tried it again.

I keep thinking about the girl I'm seeing at the moment. I think she may be ok with it but there's a world of difference between crossplay and dressing. Time was I could have left it but now it may be harder to put the genie back in the bottle. Apologies if I'm repeating myself.

On something newer though, I painted my nails for the first time today. Seems a bit strange looking down and seeing them painted but overall I like it. I think body shaving, certainly my arms, is the next step. Looking down and seeing a hairy arm doesn't do you much favours when trying to go girly.

The Path of Least Resistance

In what looks like to be another of my what-happend-next style of posting, I better reveal what happened at the party I went to recently. As you know, I was in a quandary about what to do, whether to take this moment of opportunity or choose the path of least resistance. I was procrastinating about it all day and even a little liquid courage did nothing to bolster me further.

Now, the outfit I was considering was basically a t-shirt (male), denim skirt, black tights (later unfortuntly laddered) and my usual trainers. Very simple. As time ticked down, I thought I would just put the skirt on just to see how I felt in it and...actually left the house in it. Now, you may think the opposite from the blog title but this kind of typified my inner struggle plus I think it made a better title. So I took the journey, about an hour or so, to the pub the party was being held in. I think I got some looks but I could just be paranoid. It did help having my ipod on too. The rain however did not help.

So a good night right? Well, a bit of a setback for some reason I was in a foul mood most of the night, angry at myself, my own procrastination and still feeling very self conscious. Nobody minded though and the only person who said anything was me. It was even broadcast live on social media. I had some great discussions with some of the women there though and someone even lent me some nail polish to try it out which has excited me a little, trying out someone's own colour. Despite a positive experience, it has left me a little hesitant to do it again for a while and to be honest I almost wish I had worn my trousers that night and just blended in. I may have enjoyed the party more. Still, it's another step at least.

Quandary

I've been thinking about another public outing recently but this time I'm a little more hesitant.

I'm due to go to a party in a pub in London in a few days time most of the people there will be friends, an I was considering wearing a skirt. Hell, I spent at least an hour on the underground in a dress so it can't be hard right?

So why am I so hesitant? Well, despite everything, I've always been quite shy, bit of an introvert, and in fact it's fascinating to me that God or fate or whoever saw fit to give me these feelings which, If I decided to act on them and stay true to myself, puts me in the spotlight. Lights me up for everyone so I can't crawl into the background. If I want to. If I follow through.

I know I'll end up answering the same questions and replying to the same comments all night if I do and I don't know if it's worth the hassle. Might be better just to have a trouble free night but am I taking a backwards step if I do? Or maybe I'm just shooting a bit too high for now.

Nine Worlds 2016

Ok, so I got back from the convention last weekend and I really enjoyed it.

Even though I was sad that some of my friends couldn't make it, it was still a blast and one of the best cons I've been to for years. Of course, if you're reading this I expect you want to know about the cosplay. Well, my nerve has gotten greater with each passing year. Didn't do it for the first year and only managed a quick one on the Sunday the second but this year I had three planned. The first I didn't do in the end which would have been Castiel from Supernatural (no crossplay) but because I didn't have the correct coat and would have been a bit hot in three layers. Still might do it at some point though. I ended up with one that has the merest suggestion of Wash from Firefly.

So anyway, on the Saturday out came my Star Trek dress and the boots and it was as brilliant as I hoped it would be. I initially had a blue wig and I did mean to go for a whole 'blue haired alien babe' vibe but I got a bit tired of it after a while and since I wasn't playing a proper character so decided to ditch the wig and felt all the better for it. In a way, I felt a bit of a fangirl, like this was a proper thing a fangirl would wear to a on rather than just being a costume. It was a nice feeling.

On Sunday, the blue wig returned, luckily, because my purple one has started going bald! Today I went as a Hogwarts schoolgirl from Harry Potter. This was an old costume left over from when a bunch of us dressed as teen Nymphadora Tonks for a party. Bought myself a Hufflepuff headband and a cute necklace to add to it too. This too went down well and I got a lot of good comments simply for the effort.

Luckily the girl I'm dating, who was also there in crossplay at one point, was OK with it. As for anything outside cosplay, I left it for now although I did bring a denim skirt with me. As I've said before, cosplay is one thing but admitting you dress outside of that is another matter altogether so I've put that on the backburner for now. So, all in all, a fun weekend and quite a boost.  

Running and Walking

Suffered a bit of a setback today. My mum saw a photograph of me last weekend and I had to bluff my way out of it. For a moment I thought I was going to have the courage to tell her but I bottled it. Perhaps I'm not as strong now as I thought.  I also brought it up with the girl I'm seeing as she's going to be seeing me in crossplay soon anyway and she kind of laughed it off. Not the full story mind, cosplaying is one thing but outside of that is another.

Should I ever tell my mum though? Maybe I should just keep it hidden, might be the best for everybody but then again it is becoming much more of a thing in my life. A few years ago, if I had to give it up for my partner then I probably would have done but nowadays I'm not so sure I could. I've explored this side of myself a lot lately and have started to make my peace with it. To go back to nothing could be a bit of a blow. I guess nothing's really changed over the last day but that's just the way I'm feeling.

Boots!

Well, I've now taken my first foray into female footwear.

I needed a pair of knee length boots for a cosplay but I've been out of luck due to size. Yesterday, however, I did find a pair in a much smaller size than I thought although I did feel an obligation to buy even if they hadn't fit because I'm sure I felt something rip although no damage done on closer inspection when I got them home. Luckily they fit wonderfully, I tried them on with my costume and it just looks awesome.

Size can be quite odd, as I've found out. Even with men's shoes I think I have pairs in about three different sizes but at least I have something to measure it against now. I don't think I'll start on the high heels just (if at all) but a pair of ankle boots or court shoes, maybe even some Mary Janes would be nice.

I have been getting more confident after last week and I've also wondered if I've influenced anyone the way I was as a youngster. Just seeing one person dressed differently can influence others. That's why I started this blog; to put across my experiences and let others know that they're not alone in these feelings like I wish I would have read when I was younger. I wonder if any of the kids at the party, after seeing me, realise they can dress outside of gender boundary's if they wish, that it's ok.

Summer Party 2

OK, so carrying on from yesterday, the short answer is that I wore the dress.

I wasn't sure if I was going to do it on the day but as time wore on, I shaved my legs and stuffed the dress and some tights in my bag. I wore my normal clothes for most of the day and until I had enough alcohol. The bottom line is that everything was ok. The world is still here.

Most people commented "oh you've changed" and I got some compliments about how nice it was and how I wore it. Only one person asked why I was wearing it. I should add that I never bought a necklace or a bag and only had trainers on (it was fairly informal). One of the younger girls there, about eight years old I think, did say "that boy is dressed as a girl and he mother added, and I will never forget this, "No, that person is dressed as a person." Overall, I really enjoyed myself and at least I know I might be able to do it again.

I had a couple of hours journey ahead of me and I could have changed back but by now I was so confident I just kept the dress on. Didn't matter in the end. No-one said anything although that may have been due to the time of night. So cool as well. I think in the end you just have to walk with confidence.

So yes, that was my weekend and one I doubt I will forget in a long time.

Summer Party

So, over the last month or so I've been thinking about wearing a dress to my friends' wedding vow renewal. This also meant possibly getting new shoes, handbag and I was considering a necklace.

Now, I know that my friends will be cool with it but there was someone else going to be there ironically someone I've known a lot longer and who has seen me do crossplay but then this is different. This is full on admitting I crossdress. It's an odd problem I've found that sometimes a stranger or acquaintance is easier to open up to than someone I've known for a number of years. To say that I'm worried about ever telling my parents goes without saying (and I doubt I ever will, to be honest) but what about my best friend of 20+ years? I don't want to make things difficult and although I think he would be cool with it, something like this does change a relationship. 

Talking of relationships, I may have a new one on the horizon. A friend set me up with a friend of his girlfriend and it's only been one sort-of date but we've been talking and we should hopefully be going out sometime next week. To be honest, she's one of the brighter spots in my life recently with the possibility of redundancies looming at work this week. It's too early to know whether she will be cool with this, although we did have a short conversation about drag queens, but it's still a bit early for discussions like this and to have me in a dress tagged and plastered over social media and the inevitable explanation to my parents. 

So, I pretty much decided not to do it and to make my peace with myself over it...until I had drinks with a friend a few days ago and through circumstances I ended up talking about all this. I'm not sure I've ever opened up about this in such a way before or even openly admitted it. Wasn't even all that drunk either which is a little worrying. She was encouraging me to do it, even saying I could bring the dress with me and change in her room if I wanted. This got me thinking about it again and whether I should go ahead. 

The party was yesterday...and I'll leave it there for now.  

Shorts and Dress

I forgot to mention a couple of other pieces of clothing I bought recently, namely a pair of leggings (first time I've bought a par) and a pair of flippy shorts. Really like the shorts, wearing them right now in fact and I might continue throughout the summer.

Anyway, I have an event coming up fairly soon. I have some friends renewing their wedding vows and I'm considering wearing my new black dress. Rather excited by the thought actually. So should I just wear it or go full girlie with wigs and make-up and stuff? I think I'll have to wear tights with it and buy some appropriate shoes plus a handbag (no pockets and I need to have money and my phone and stuff near me).

The only trouble is that the dress has no unfortunately got a couple of holes in it due to the intricate embroidery on the top. While it fits well, it's not the easiest to get on and off which is how I think it got torn. In fact I tried it on again today and spent a while trying to take it off without tearing it further. Sounds like a subject for a TG caption doesn't it? Stuck in a dress. Maybe I could try and get it repaired or cover it up with a coat or cardigan or something. Ooh I might need one of those too. Not sure if I'll go through with this but it will be fun to see.

July Update

My mood has a horrible habit of shifting with each passing week. I really enjoy my Saturdays shopping, even more so since I started buying more clothes. I don't think I realised before how much its opened up my world although I swear that one of the shops has started applying 'men' and 'women' labels to their racks especially for me (ok, so I'm exaggerating for self-deprecation purposes here).

Some weeks I feel really good about myself but others I just feel really down, like what I'm doing is somehow seedy and unacceptable. I wonder if it would be better if I just put the genie back in the bottle and never dress again for the rest of my life. Would it affect me? Could I live without it? Maybe a few years exploring it is fine but somehow it just keeps coming back up. I should be glad to be living in a free country where I can fully explore it (well, within reason. I would still fear going out dressed) and in this year, which has taken so many people from us, I am feeling that I should live my life more the way I want to as it's so short. Too short to be afraid.

I did buy some more clothes over the weekend using up an old voucher. Such a wonderful black evening dress, looks gorgeous and fits well. I would love a place to wear it to. I do worry that I'm getting more clothes with no place to put them or even to wear them too. At least putting together a cosplay outfit means it will be seen. This almost feels like a useless hobby.

I even had a dream last night. I was wearing a dress, big poofy thing with big sleeves and a long skirt and I was constantly running from people trying to find some place to hide, feeling ever more embarrassed. Now, according to various dream interpretations, crossdressing in dreams for men means that you need to get more in touch with your feminine side (and on the flip side getting in touch with your masculine side if a woman dreams of crossdressing) but I think maybe for me its a more literal interpretation.

Pink Library #9: With the Blink of an Eye - The Life of Brian

This is a new story on Fictionmania I've really enjoyed recently.

Here's the link:

With the Blink of an Eye - The Life of Brian by Brittany Montgomery

This is the first part of the story and a second has just gone up today. It's a slow burn transformation featuring a man, bored of his life, who on his commute to work one day sees these carefree, preppy high-school girls and he find he cannot shake the image of a blonde girl winking at him and the wish that he had their lifestyle.

Over the course of the day at work he begins to think and act a little like them; spending all day on Lookbook and Pinterest searching out cute outfits and make-up tutorials. Steadily, his new habits take over. The second part "Dream a Little Dream of Me" sees this continue even into his dreams in which he finds himself as one of the girls (yet still looking like a man).

I'm following this avidly now so I'm looking forward to reading more from the author.

Ask Me Anything

The eagle-eyed among you will spot a fresh contact form to the left. Please feel free to put any comments and questions to me. I will try and answer on the blog.

I didn't mean for email to be a mandatory field, by the way, but I can't seem to change it.

Cosplay List

Since I've been thinking about it recently, here's a list of crossplays I'm thinking about:

• Cher (Clueless - yellow plaid suit)
• Amy Pond (Pirate outfit from The Curse of the Black Spot)
• Harley Quinn (Surely a must for most crossplayers. Not sure which version. Not the traditional one but perhaps Suicide Squad version)
• Scarlet Witch (Age of Ultron)
• Clara Oswald (Time of the Doctor - both outfits)
• Clara Oswald (Waitress outfit from Hell Bent)
• Clara Oswald (Asylum of the Daleks)
• Clara Oswald (Journey to the Centre of the TARDIS)
• Alex Drake (Ashes to Ashes)
• Buffy Summers (Prophecy Girl)
• Rose Tyler (1950s dress from The Idiots Lantern)
• Chiana (Farscape - more of a fantasy since all that body paint really isn't my style)
• Jennifer Walters AKA She Hulk (Business suit, green make-up. Again, fantasy)
• Peggy Carter (Perhaps army uniform or blue suit)
• Jubilee (I liked her look in X-Men: Apocalypse)
• Kaylee Frye (Firefly)

There are some more gender appropriate cosplays I've considered including: The Tenth Doctor and Castiel (Supernatural). 

The list will probably change as time goes on. 

Amy Returns 2

In the last couple of days I've posted some more pictures of myself in costume and I'm torn between liking them and wanting to curl up and die.

Overall though, the more I think about it, the more I enjoyed the experience and am filled with a renewed vigor for cosplay. I think if I want to do it properly then I'm going to have to up my game a bit more; toy around with make-up and different looks. Maybe some falsies too. Although my aim with crossdressing would be just to incorporate more feminine clothes into my regular wear, I've never wanted to be a full-on female impersonator until recently when I've been thinking about it a lot more. I guess to properly cosplay, to do it justice, I need to experiment a lot more at least to make up for my body shape failings. I have lost a lot of weight recently though and the idea is beginning to excite me.

I've been thinking of going to a dressing service again and maybe watching a few tutorials on make-up and gaffs and stuff. I'm full of ideas again and looking forward to cosplaying again.

Amy Returns

Hello everyone,

I went to a convention yesterday with some friends of mine. I was considering various cosplays out of my existing ideas to try and had the idea of bringing my Amy Pond crossplay back. The night before I did feel quite positive about it all and I think my nerves were mainly about where and when to change. I knew that once I got past that hurdle then everything would be fine. Although there was a dedicated cosplay change area it was a little, um, intimate so I ended up getting changed in the toilets.

The day was definitely helped by the fact that I had some friends attending in cosplay too (and very good cosplay at that). I didn't really feel nervous at all but I was still a bit self-conscious. This was mainly due to the wig I had and it's a shame I didn't consider changing it before but as ever my procrastination meant that I didn't decide on what, if anything, I would be doing. I knew that if I didn't do any cosplay at all then I would feel rubbish the whole day especially walking round with my friends. I nearly did a Wash (from Firefly) cosplay just for the sake of not walking round in my normal clothes. Have I said the word 'cosplay' enough yet?

Anyway, I got a good enough reaction. It wasn't overwhelming but at least it was more positive than not. I stand by the outfit but I think it was just the wig that bothered me. I do cringe a bit when I look back at the photos now. I think I need to up my game a bit if I want to do this properly.

A good day overall though.

May Update

Apologies once again for not writing sooner but a bit of lethargy has set in. Work has also been very busy and extra stressful recently.

Bought some new clothes recently including a nice Tartan mini skirt and a grey sparkly jumper which has become my new favourite thing. Probably more as well but I can't remember. Need more tops though and dresses and I need to try shoes at some point. Lately I've been veering towards wanting to try the full thing with wigs and make-up and everything.

There is a very mixed cosplay update too. I started constructing my Cher costume...which has ultimately failed at this point at least. The suit I bought was too small (although the skirt sorta fits) and the cardigan I bought was too small. Bought a white top and white knee high socks though which seem to be fine. I can't lie that it's disappointing but I hope to give it another shot soon. I also got a red Star Trek dress which looks lovely. Now all I need for that is a pair of boots.

April Update

Well it hasn't been the best month so far.

I've just had a very trying week at work and one that's just shot my confidence to shit although it has left me thinking that if I can suffer through some of the people that I do then maybe going out fully 'dressed' wouldn't be as daunting as I think it would be. I almost want to do it just to 'get it over with' so to speak. I know I've done it at conventions and parties before but taking a walk in public is a bit different to that. I'm wondering if I should take it slow at first and build up. Baby steps. Perhaps try a top or jumper, something that people might not look twice at, before trying a skirt and tights. Then again I wouldn't be inclined to go full wig and make-up although I've been thinking a lot about that recently. Perhaps I need to do some experimenting. I did see a man on the tube recently with a long skirt on and full beard. Have to say I respected him.

Not bought anything new recently (apart from the denim skirt which I think I've mentioned) but I've also been coming back to a few old cosplay ideas too. The Star Trek dress and one of my top fantasies (as I've stated before) Cher's yellow plaid suit from Clueless. It's really only the blazer that I think I would have trouble with. It's easy enough to find a yellow plaid skirt, cardigan, white top, white knee highs and black heels. I think I've found a place to buy it though and I've been a bit excited thinking about it this weekend.

There's so much stuff I keep meaning to write but I've fallen behind again and I can't believe its been a year since I did a Quantum Leap. Hopefully more soon.

Pink Library #8: The City

This is one of Tainted Sins stories and is set in a diner which is effectively held hostage by a God like being called Howard Clark.

Here's the link: The City by Tainted Sins

Throughout the story, Howard makes multiple changes to many of the patrons in the diner, changing their fates as it were. One couple has their IQs reduced, the manager had his penis made into a dildo, ages are swapped, another couple decide to become strippers etc. I will warn those wanting to read this though that it does contain incest and one of the strangest transformations I've read which concerns a waitress turning into a clown and of course being unable to change back; forever wearing a red nose, rainbow wig and clown clothes. Oh, and can spray water from her nipples at will.

Actually, scratch that, the strangest transformation I've ever read is an entry in the same author's I'm Rubber, You're Glue series in which a popular girl changes into a toilet. An actual toilet. Crazy.

Anyway, the reason this story is being featured is down to the transformation of a man called Roger into a "teenybopper drag queen" (to quote the story). Howard starts off giving him memories of stealing his 16 year old daughter Stephanie's bra and panties (bright green, wonderfully showing through his white shirt) and then the desire to dress like a sexy teen. Roger is then given all his daughter's style and dress sense; suddenly appearing dressed in a short skirt, thong, immaculate blonde hair and pink nails and cut off black t-shirt which wonderfully has "Daddy's Girl" across the front in diamond lettering.

Due to her fashion sense being stolen or 'donated' to her father, Stephanie is made into a styleless dork in a Santa sweater and Spongebob boxers unable to dress any better no matter how much she wants or tries to. Roger is then fired for his work attire and I have to wonder what happens to him. Does he always have the style of a teenage girl or will it mature over time?

The rest of the story is fun if you like those sort of changes and, I won't lie, but some made me uneasy but this portion and its description of Roger's new attire really captured my imagination.

Blondie and Beyond

I had intended to buy a dress today but unfortunately the shop was closed however I did end up purchasing a nice denim skirt from another shop which is something I've wanted to get and thankfully it fit. I did start getting a bit nervous in the shop again though. No matter how much I tell myself I should buy things if I want to, the nerves still end up setting in. We do have only one life after all trouble is that doesn't help me in convincing myself as much as it should.

I was watching a documentary on Blondie and the making of their Parallel Lines album last night and it dislodged a few memories. I was really into the group in my late teens which coincided with their late 1990s resurgence. I even went to see them in concert in 1999 (or possibly 1998) and I remember a Vulture t-shirt being on sale. this t-shirt was worn by singer Debbie Harry back in their late 1970s/early 80s heyday and I really wanted one but I was just too scared to buy one because I saw it as female clothing. However I later saw videos of the male members of the band wearing it. Perhaps I might see if I can buy one now.

Here's a picture of Debbie Harry in the T-shirt

Culture Vulture
Source: emikokal.tumblr.com

Just as a quick P.S there was recently a Doctor Who comic cover parodying the Parallel Lines cover featuring the Twelfth Doctor, Clara Oswald and The Silence which looked wonderful.

February Update

To be honest, it's not been the best month so far.

I haven't bought any new clothes and the only item I did buy didn't fit. I had my eye on a dress but that went once I returned to the store. I saw a handbag last week though I was tempted by though which is something  haven't thought about before. Would I use or have use for a handbag? Is it worth getting anyway?

I did see a dress in M&S though which had lots of circles on it. Basically it was a roundal dress and by roundal I mean the circles on the walls of the TARDIS for those unfamiliar with the term. There are quite a few cosplay idea running through my mind right now.

I've been meaning to write about a new site I found recently which everybody probably knew about anyway but it's The Changing Mirror and is well worth checking out for TF fiction. Not all M2F but various transformations. I've spoken before about my love of Wyrdey's stories and in turn that led me to those of Tainted Sins and the site. I've really been enjoying Tainted Sins stories and will probably post more about them on here soon and in particular there are a few new tropes I've been enjoying such as the idea of giving a grown woman the thoughts and feelings of a 13 year old boy.

Tainted Sins

It's not been the best month at work though but I have started trying to lose a bit of weight too.

January Update

It's been an odd January so far. I feel a bit better than I did earlier on in the month and I guess things have evened out at work. I still feel snowed under though but I think it's par for the course.

I bought a nice top a couple of weeks ago but sadly it didn't fit that well. I have seen a dress though, maroon with white hearts on it, that I'm thinking of buying. I am a little worried that I seem to be purchasing stuff from the same shop. I was thinking today that maybe if I did go out dressed it would actually take some pressure off.i wouldn't be so worried about people 'figuring me out'. i would just be out there. Life is so short after all and it's not as though I have a family to worry about.

I do have some stuff built up that i want to write about, it's just finding the time to sit down and do it properly.

The Men Under The Influence

Just a quickie here. While searching for some photos to caption I came across some crossdressing pictures and via a couple of sites I came to this set of portraits.

Spanish photographer Jon Uriarte has taken a series of portraits of men dressed in the clothes of their girlfriends or wives in the couple's home. Looking through it, some of the guys look good and it's surprising how some of the outfits would not look out of place on a man walking down the street.

Here is the link to the set on Jon Uriarte's website The Men Under the Influence.

If you like this then please check out an earlier post of mine from May 2013 (dear God, that long ago) on the photography of Hana Pesut: Couple Clothes Swap

Overheard in London

I was out shopping in my lunch break yesterday afternoon and I was in one of the charity shops. Now, if I was to buy clothes from here then that really would be a feat as I would have to actually take it into work before taking it home but I digress. 

A man took a pair of trainers to the till and asked whether they were for a man or a woman. The assistant, a young man, said it didn't really matter as long as they fit and they were comfortable but also confirmed that they were for women. He advised the man to try them on anyway and he did. I don't know if he bought them or not. 

So not much there then but a small story that made me pleased. Coincidentally, I did once own a pair of girls trainers and wore them for a few years in my teens. I was unaware that they were for girls at the time and to be honest I'm not even 100% now it's just that a friend mentioned it to me. The only really girlie thing about them though was a few bit of lilac here and there. 

New Year's Resolutions

I'm really proud of my accomplishments last year. Not only did I buy new clothes but I even went into stores and bought them instead of going through the internet. I finally learnt my size and a little about my style plus I dressed in public once more. 

Hopefully this year I'll be attending a few more conventions but I need to be a bit more polished, not just putting things together at the last minute. Part of me is wondering whether I should go full girl at some point, do the proper wigs, make-up, falsies full works. There's also a part of me dying to just put on a skirt and walk done the street, see how it feels like for at least once in my life. Being British people would probably just look the other way and say nothing...or at least hopefully give me a sporting chance to run away before I get beaten up. 

I hope to also continue blogging and, much like last year, I would hope to post more but at least I managed to beat my record last year. I would also like to put some more original fiction on here including the piece I said I would last time but still haven't finished due to a brief interruption.  

Just had my first day back at work and it brought me down a bit. I'm really not sure how I feel about it anymore. My other great hope for 2016 is that I kick start my love life.