Pause

So I had a bit of a moment today. 

I bought a new dress, black with green birds on it, which is all very nice but it's quite low cut and I didn't really notice before I tried it on. Seeing all that hair on my chest reminded me of what I am, of the stereotypical cross dresser. We may like to think we look super sexy in a hot dress but there are things that remind you that you're a hairy, misshapen lump in a piece of clothing not even designed for your gender but for some pretty young woman. 

I realise that this is easily remedied though; I can shave my body or put on a t-shirt (which is what I did and am in fact wearing at this moment) but I guess seeing myself like that brought it into sharp focus. I am considering taking it back but now I've worn it for a bit, plus the addition of a necklace, it's not so bad. I like a nice bit of neck space and I'm not considering breast forms anytime soon but I may watch out for more low cut stuff in future. 

For further clarification, for anyone that cares, I'm wearing the dress (white t-shirt underneath) with a pair of black leggings and a grey sparkly jumper. I've also painted my nails again and trying something new, light red with half painted in a darker red. Very nice and not chipped yet which is a first. Also bought some red lipstick recently. I've been thinking about trying some bright red lipstick for a while now and it looks nice but I still need more application practice. 

New Dress

I may be turning into a bit of a rockabilly girl judging by some of the dresses I've been looking at recently.

I bought a new dress today. The second in as many weeks. I still feel a bit sheepish trying them on in the store but the fact that I am now is at least a step up. It always feels so good when it fits though and actually looks good. I think I've gone down a dress size now and hopefully my weight won't go back up anytime soon otherwise there's a few things that may not fit anymore. It's a lovely dress too and my only regret is that I don't really have the curvy figure to go along with it. Oh, and it could be a bit shorter too. I still seem to be getting more knee length skirts and dresses and I tend to go for larger sizes because of my broad shoulders. I've had some nice comments about my legs and I would like to show them off a bit.  

Otherwise, I'm looking forward to Christmas tomorrow and some time off. Hopefully I may have some occasions coming up I'm going to dress for especially New Year's Eve for which I have a lovely dress I'm going to wear. Never know what I'm doing for New Year's not less actually looking forward to it.

About Last Night

So, leading on from my last post, I did indeed go to a birthday party dressed last night (still fully clothed, to avoid confusion, well that's a misleading phrase although I doubt with my face and body there's a lot of confusion going on but, well, if there was it would be good for the ego).

Now, my primary concern was the travel and I'm happy to say that nothing really happened. It was much easier to open the door this time perhaps because I was a bit more convicted this time around. This had been in the back of my mind, and the outfit I wanted to wear, for most of the week. I knew what outfit I wanted to wear too and, apart from a few tights based considerations for the cold and rainy weather. For those that want to know, I wore a beige jumper with Peter Pan collar, blue denim mini skirt, black tights and a pair of Chuck Taylors. I've also found out that it helps with my nerves if I listen to music or a podcast on the way so I spend most of my time with my earphones in. This journey was a bit long and involved a walk, train journey, walk through a shopping centre, tube journey (including through the Death Star AKA Canary Wharf station. To further explain the hilarity of this joke, they filmed parts of Rogue One there) and another walk trying to find the place.

A couple of incidents stick in my mind and possibly that was due to my paranoia. I passed a guy while I was walking who definitely said something but I couldn't make it out because of my headphones. Probably nothing, probably just talking on his phone. There was an older lady who appeared to be looking in my general direction on the tube but she was just looking for a seat and then while walk on the way back there was a girl who appeared to be trying to look up my skirt. Not sure what to make of that. For the rest of my night, no-one even commented on my appearance although some of the girls I was with did say that I could wear a smaller size than I and perhaps I could wear a shorter skirt. Indeed, I have had much appreciation for my legs. Of course, if a transvestite standing at the bar doesn't seem to get noticed in an effort to get served I'm not sure about anyone else.

Dress Size

Ok, so as I mentioned last week I was considering buying a dress and perhaps a few more things online and I...have not done that yet admittedly but I have been checking out how to measure my dress size (or as near to as I can get I guess) so I thought I would share a couple of websites that helped me. That is after all what I wanted to primarily do with this blog; help other people in a similar situation and provide something I would have liked to stumble over growing up to make me make sense of the odd feelings I was experiencing and feel like I wasn't the only one. To be honest it was more of an inkling than a full on feeling in the beginning. I never thought seriously about something being there until later.

Anyway, websites:

1. What size am I?

2. ASOS.com guide to dress sizes

These should at least work in the UK. Outside that I'm not sure but at least it's handy to know where to measure:

1. The fullest part of the bust

2. The natural waistline

3. 20cm down from the natural waistline (hips)

Exactly how good this is for us chaps remains to be seen. I appear to be a size 18 so hopefully a bit of shopping with that in mind will help. Always nice to have a guide though rather than randomly searching through clothes racks for something that may fit.

Here's also a link to the dress I was thinking of getting on Amazon:

Ladies Belted Pleated Sleeveless Skater Dress

Hope this info helps.

Pink Library #4: Bimbos and Backwoods Beauticians

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Amy Pond Cosplay

I'm a big fan of Doctor Who and I'm going to be going to a convention soon.

They have discos and parties at night and normally I've resisted dressing up because it's not something I feel comfortable with. Never been a big fan of fancy dress which I know is an odd thing for someone calling themselves a crossdresser to say but I'll get into that another time. I have dressed up occasionally, sometimes as a girl, but either way I feel I stick out a lot.

I wasn't going to dress up at all but then I had the idea of doing Amy Pond. All I would really need is a big jumper, black mini skirt, tights, Chucks and a ginger wig. Probably the most normal dressing up I will have done. So now I'm on the look out for a few bits and feeling a little excited about it. A big part of doing it before was the attention I get from girls. A drunken man in a dress in Ibiza once told me that. At least it's an icebreaker and better than standing in a corner moping by yourself.

I used to go to Buffy conventions years ago and see the same guy there in the same black dress and tights every night. I wondered if it was the only time he ever got to dress and I hoped I didn't end up like that. That does sound a little mean spirited but that's what I recall thinking at the time. At least the guy had the guts to do what he wanted and more power to him while I just felt self conscious.

Not that I have the body to pull stuff like that off anyway and these days I worry a lot about my weight. Still, a chunky red jumper may be for the best then and by chance I bought a pair of blue Chucks the other day.

Anyway, thanks to everyone who has been reading so far and I have 2 followers! Yay!