Check-Up #25

Ok, I've meant to update this for a while now and suddenly we're at the end of December and getting ready for the New Year. I may just go with the bullet points again for brevity's sake. 

• I've had an up and down couple of months. I went away for a few days in November and came back with a cold (nothing serious, not COVID or anything) but it just proved hard to get shot of so I wasn't feeling up to much. Before that though I went to a sci-fi convention for a nice couple of days. I was able to do some cosplay as well, rolling out my 13th Doctor and Star Trek cosplays. In the evenings I also had the opportunity to dress which was quite nice and I had some compliments which is always welcome (apart from the odd moment in which someone half-heartedly tried to steal a necklace from me). 
• I'm glad I had the opportunity to do more cosplay this year but it's something that, for me, the future is uncertain. I'm not sure if I want to keep going to shows as it can be lonely if I'm always going on my own. You do get used to it after a number of years though but then we also don't know how many years we have left. There are still a few I would love to do like the 10th Doctor, Missy, more Clara stuff, more Harley Quinn. Seeing Star Trek: Strange New Worlds this year I've been thinking about Nurse Chapel and also in the last month or so I've been thinking about the 14th Doctor's outfit as well. 
• I recently bought a couple of new skirts, one purple with a black pleather ring around the bottom and the other is an argyle patten in blue, black, white and yellow. I also bought a necklace in the shape of a key but I think that's about it for things I've bought recently. 
• Regarding fashion, I notice that argyle is quite trendy recently, tank tops are back and also large collars on dresses and jumpers. 
• One thing I have noticed is that nowadays when I go out or purchase tickets for events I do consider whether or not I'll be able to dress at them. It's really one of the first things that pops into my head. I did have an event planned for early December which unfortunately had to be cancelled due to the ongoing train strikes here in the UK. Luckily though around the same time I was able to book up for a podcast recording and I was able to dress for that which I was quite pleased with. 
• I had a nice Christmas with my family in the end and got some lovely gifts. New Year's Eve is probably just going to involve me and the TV again and to be honest I've been a little down this past week due to changes at work and preparing to move house in January so unfortunately things probably aren't going to settle down for a bit. 

Finally, here's a Christmas caption I devised for a more slimline version of the Christmas advent calendar I usually oversee on Rache's Haven so I hope you like. 

A Sissy for Christmas (2022)

The Beach: Part One

 It was a warm and sunny day at Brincombe with many locals and visitors taking advantage of the good weather and the Bank Holiday to spend the day at the local beach. While the weather was warm, a chill was about to hit the beach and spread along the coast. It would change everything for the people enjoying the day but only last for a few moments and leave no memory of its visit. The Silent Swapper was in town for the day.

Trying to keep up with demand at the Vanilla Skies ice cream shack was Kelly Matthews. The dark haired 21 year old was relieved to have just finished serving a long queue with her last two ices, a mint choc-chip and a raspberry ripple, to a blonde girl in a skimpy pink bikini, and she was about ready to collapse into a chair. The company uniform wasn’t too flattering with its red polo shirt, black knee length skirt and white apron. When she took the job she thought it would be wonderful to spend summer by the beach however the idea that she would actually need to do some work didn’t seem to hit home then as much as it did now. She glanced out over the rest of the beach patrons with jealousy and then turned to her boss Brian Long, nearly twenty years older and sat scribbling in the corner at his small wooden desk at the back of the small, wooden shack. He was dressed similarly in a red shirt and black trousers both of which had seen better days. “That was quite a long one that last one,” she said. He grunted a little. “Could have done with help,” she continued. “Really, really quite long…” “Yes, yes I get the idea. Privilege of rank, Kelly,” he turned around sighing. “Once you get to wear this fantastic yellow apron,” Brian replied twanging his apron strings, “you’ve really made it in this world and while you get smile at the great British public, I get to sit here crunching the numbers and wonder where we’ve lost five boxes of flakes in the last week,” he added through a half smile, tapping his pencil on the desk.

As Kelly turned back to face the front of the stall everything went quiet. Somewhere in the distance a clock bell sounded and a breeze swept through the vicinity. The whole beach became enraptured in its spell. Up and down the sandy coast the patrons began switching clothes with one another. Back in the shack, Brian and Kelly turned to face each other, both in a trance, and started to strip off. As they shed another layer they began to hand the garments to each other. Brian struggled into Kelly’s pale blue bra and knickers set, putting it on as if he had his whole life, while she pulled his rather large white boxer shorts. Already their bodies began to change to fit their new outfits.

As Brian pulled on Kelly’s red polo shirt and black skirt, the years were wound back and he became a twentysomething again. His hair grew darker and longer, breasts filled out his shirt and the bulge disappeared from his knickers. As Kelly pulled on Brian’s rather older red polo shirt she started gaining a few more muscles as well as another couple of decades. Short brown haired topped her head and her breasts disappeared into her chest as she pulled up Brian’s trousers (complete with bulge) and tied the laces on his black, shiny shoes as he did the same with her light blue Chuck Taylors. Then they switched the all important aprons before Kelly removed what little make-up she usually wore and Brian grabbed her handbag to add a touch to his own new face. A little red lipstick and some eyeshadow worked wonders.

 Time unfroze and suddenly Brianna and Ken were left looking at other. “Um, that was weird…did you just feel something,” Brianna said looking around. “Perhaps the tide’s about to come in,” Ken mused before sitting back down at the desk. “Anyway you have customers” he indicated to a group approaching the shack “and I have flakes to find.” “One day, I’ll wear that apron!” she said defiantly. “Good I can retire and you can chase up lost confectionary” “Oh it’s probably the seagulls or the mice aga…” Brianna blushed and turned to face her customer a very round, very red man “aga…a good day to you sir, how can I help you today?” she smiled. 

Breaking Free: Part One

This week I thought I would put up a piece of fiction I recently wrote.

This was my entry in the Haven Writing Challenge which had the topic of Confinement. There will be another part coming shortly. I did write it in a bit of a rush as I forgot the deadline for entries and so I would have liked to have written a bit more including more dialogue as the characters walk back to the halls at the end. I could have punched it up a bit to publish it here but I thought I would rather put it up in its original form. It  may sound a little autobiographical but it isn't really although there are bits and pieces that are inspired by various things/ideas/fantasies.

Hope you like.


~~~~~~~~~~

So what does confinement mean?

Well, being confined obviously. Being imprisoned, restrained, detained or held in captivity. I’m used to being confined and so much so that I thought I would never be free. The worst thing about it was that I just didn’t realise I had been confined. That confinement was my life and I just didn’t know any other way to be. I was confined to a male body and couldn’t get out.

Femininity wasn’t something I craved while growing up but it was something I saw out of the corner of my eye. Wonder Woman in her sparkly costume, make-up advertisements, long, flowing hair, girls’ school uniforms with such smart black tights and pleated skirts and every so often they all came together in someone I just envied like crazy and didn’t know why. I guess I thought I just fancied them but no matter who I dated I never came close to branching the subject of possibly trying on one of those nice dresses or maybe a skirt. No. I couldn’t let myself entertain the thought as it just wasn’t manly. It wasn’t for me and I couldn’t let it. That’s what I was told anyway, told by my relatives the television, the movies and the media. Stay in your box as that’s the way it had always been. There was that brief moment in the school play…with that blue dress …I was told it couldn’t happen again. It was embarrassing.

I hadn’t thought about it in years until I got to college and moved into the halls of residence. I found a small group of friends and we were inseparable for a while. All on the same Art Theory course so we would stay up into the night talking about… mainly rubbish but it was fun rubbish. After a late night’s drinking pre-Eurovision one night there was an idea. Lucy’s idea. What would it be like to switch clothes? Just for fun. Lucy was always suggesting odd ideas ‘just for fun’. There were three boys (me, Chris and Tom) and three girls (Lucy, Charlotte and Kim). Perfect match. I agreed reluctantly, as did we all, and so we swapped. Lucy took me into her bedroom and removed her short green dress, underwear and trainers while I did the same with my t-shirt, pants and jeans and needless to say it took one of us a longer time than the other. In fact Lucy had pretty much finished dressing by the time it took me to do up her faded pink bra. Well, put it on anyway, I still needed her help to do it up. Slipping into her pink knickers felt like something else though, so smooth and comforting. I wasn’t sure what I should feel at first and whether or not I should let myself feel pleasure for doing this. Was that wrong? When I put her black tights on my feelings doubled as I felt the nylon against my legs. I looked down and they didn’t resemble my legs at all. These were the sort of legs I would catch myself staring at while walking down the street.

The green dress fit better than I thought it would. Tighter most certainly and as Lucy zipped up the back I felt like I was being trapped in it for the night. Then she had an idea – there were wigs in the drama department, which would still be open. As I hastily tied up her trainers, feeling tight against my larger feet, she grabbed my hand and we rushed out the door and judging from the sounds in the other rooms the other guys were still struggling with bras. We ran over the common to the college, sneaked into the back room of the drama block and started trying on wigs until we found one that was the same length and shade of brown as Lucy’s hair. She jammed it on my head, gave it a little brush just to get the dust out (and some fake blood left over from a production of Dracula – I hope anyway) and give it some shape. Then we ran back and I can’t describe how free I felt running back hand in hand with Lucy.

My long hair flew around my head in the wind, I could feel the dress flying up and a gust of wind blasting my lower body. Lucy giggled and told me to stop flashing my knickers to everyone. Have I been doing dating wrong then, I asked with mock ignorance like a ditzy starlet. I just don’t know where that came from but it seemed like the right response. It certainly was to Lucy as she laughed so much all the way back asking me ‘in character’ questions. I loved it, I felt so free running back that night. In fact I don’t think I did come back that night; someone else did.

Lingerie for Men

Apologies for not posting anything recently (if there's anyone who actually gives a damn about my digital musings). I've had a lot of things to put down but haven't had the impetus to sit and do it...and today is no exception.

Anyway, I spottted this on MSN earlier and it tickled me: http://www.msn.com/en-gb/lifestyle/style/sexy-lingerie-for-men-is-now-a-thing-apparently/ar-BBjgen.

An Australian company is now producing sexy lingerie for men. Lovely idea and wow I love the set in that first picture but I have to wonder what use a man has for a bra unless you have moobs that are out of control. Still, looks great though and it's nice that someone somewhere is producing clothes like this for men.

Dark Fantasies

I've not been having a good time of it recently.

I've had a cold for the last couple of weeks that I really can't shift plus I feel like I'm drowning at work. It's not been this bad for a while now and I feel like I can't keep up. I still see occasional updates from my ex girlfriend on social networking sites. I know I probably should defriend her and one day it will become too hard to see her pop up but I just can't take that leap for some reason. It's tough to see someone with whom you shared nearly everything living their life without you.

I should really buy those dresses I wanted to. I've been on my own a lot recently so I've been wanting to dress up again.

Anyway, just wanted to write a bit about a current fantasy of mine relating to goth girls. A few years ago there was a gothy club in London that I thought of visiting. I never did, a bit nervous about sticking out like a sore thumb as it's not really my scene to be honest, but I always had a little fantasy about a girl dressing me up so we could go together. For some reason that came back to me again recently.

I would go to her place, some loft apartment close by, to get dressed. Strip off and put on bra and knickers, black with skulls on them (yes stereotypical I know but for some reason it turns me on) and fishnet tights. Now there are many clothes I could go with but at the moment it's a big frilly black dress perhaps with ruffles, bows with a cameo collar that thrills me. Long elaborate frilly dresses, perhaps in a southern belle style and long gloves, have been a little fantasy for a while now. Gloves of course, either long black ones or short sheer black ones with frills on the ends. A big pair of gothy boots too. A friend of mine's ex-girlfriend had a lovely pair I coveted a little and tried to think of situations in which I could borrow and wear them. Not sure whether I would wear a wig or just some long, colourful hair extensions. A fascinator too or maybe a small top hat. She would do my make-up and perhaps add some accessories and give me a handbag, perhaps something really stereotypical like a coffin shaped one. Maybe it would be filled with things like a gothy purse, some make-up, maybe cigarettes and condoms. Perhaps I may carry a parasol too.

We would then head over to the club. She would be dressed in a similar style.I would probably stick by her and just enjoy myself or maybe we would agree on a name and persona for me. She could tell me what to do for the rest of the night. Perhaps I might even just stay quiet and enhance my mystery.  Not sure what would happen after that, probably just crash back at her place. It would be such an exhilarating night.

Gothic Wedding Dress

Photo from: Heeyfashion.com

Knickers

Hard as it may be to believe, I've never worn female underwear.

I've never really thought about it but more and more I've been thinking (and have been encouraged) of buyimg some knickers. I would probably be too nervous to wear them to work but maybe on the weekends. A thong maybe? No, definitely not but the idea sounds so wonderful and a touch slutty.

I always get embarrassed in the lingerie department of shops, perhaps because as a man I feel out of place there and to be honest I've been more drawn towards skirts and dresses than underwear. Getting to try them on would be fun though especially a bra. Such a feminine object and of no use at all to a man which perhaps why it appeals a bit. Imagine a black bra showing up under a white shirt or maybe having your bra straps twanged by a girl. The role reversal would be just wonderful.

As I said before, I'm not one for going the full transformation with wig, make-up and breastforms. It would be lovely to do it at least once though; long dress, long gloves and matching lacy underwear under it. Swishing my way to some ball, draped in jewels, heels on my feet. Very glam.

Maybe knickers would be the thing to help me along to buying more stuff or at least a change from boxers. Maybe boyshorts would be a start.

Cool Cranberry Underwear

Photograph: Freepeople.co.uk