I've had a cold for the last couple of weeks that I really can't shift plus I feel like I'm drowning at work. It's not been this bad for a while now and I feel like I can't keep up. I still see occasional updates from my ex girlfriend on social networking sites. I know I probably should defriend her and one day it will become too hard to see her pop up but I just can't take that leap for some reason. It's tough to see someone with whom you shared nearly everything living their life without you.
I should really buy those dresses I wanted to. I've been on my own a lot recently so I've been wanting to dress up again.
Anyway, just wanted to write a bit about a current fantasy of mine relating to goth girls. A few years ago there was a gothy club in London that I thought of visiting. I never did, a bit nervous about sticking out like a sore thumb as it's not really my scene to be honest, but I always had a little fantasy about a girl dressing me up so we could go together. For some reason that came back to me again recently.
I would go to her place, some loft apartment close by, to get dressed. Strip off and put on bra and knickers, black with skulls on them (yes stereotypical I know but for some reason it turns me on) and fishnet tights. Now there are many clothes I could go with but at the moment it's a big frilly black dress perhaps with ruffles, bows with a cameo collar that thrills me. Long elaborate frilly dresses, perhaps in a southern belle style and long gloves, have been a little fantasy for a while now. Gloves of course, either long black ones or short sheer black ones with frills on the ends. A big pair of gothy boots too. A friend of mine's ex-girlfriend had a lovely pair I coveted a little and tried to think of situations in which I could borrow and wear them. Not sure whether I would wear a wig or just some long, colourful hair extensions. A fascinator too or maybe a small top hat. She would do my make-up and perhaps add some accessories and give me a handbag, perhaps something really stereotypical like a coffin shaped one. Maybe it would be filled with things like a gothy purse, some make-up, maybe cigarettes and condoms. Perhaps I may carry a parasol too.
We would then head over to the club. She would be dressed in a similar style.I would probably stick by her and just enjoy myself or maybe we would agree on a name and persona for me. She could tell me what to do for the rest of the night. Perhaps I might even just stay quiet and enhance my mystery. Not sure what would happen after that, probably just crash back at her place. It would be such an exhilarating night.
 |
| Gothic Wedding Dress Photo from: Heeyfashion.com |
Sorry to hear how you're feeling. Glad there's a fantasy to turn to that may help you get through the, ahem, 'dark' patches. Hang in there. It's not easy at all, but hang in there.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you've posted again, it's good to hear from you, even if all it is is to hear about colds, feeling strangely down and goth fantasies. Once again, I can relate a great deal. I have been to a goth club... ish when dressed and I can tell you that you wouldn't stick out like a sore thumb. Plenty of people cross-dress at these things. Mind you, like you, I could never go alone to such a place - it wouldn't be the same at all.
Best wishes,
Joanna
Ooh sounds cool. What did you wear?
ReplyDeleteI guess I thought I would stick out if I went in my usual clothes, as I would before I dared to go crossdressed, I would need to be with someone else too but then you don't always have that luxury. I learnt a long time ago that you can't depend on other people to back you up and do the things you want to do.
Once I went dressed as a schoolgirl (though my choice of blouse and skirt made me look more like a mid-20s office worker) for a birthday do and the second time I went in a party dress. First time there was a larger group to socialise with but the second time I enjoyed myself more and was less inhibited.
DeleteIt's a shame I didn't spot your comment 'til tonight, I was just down in London on a holiday - we could have organised something. Indeed, are there people on the Haven that you could organise with?
I might have to do that...
I don't know. There are a fair few Brits on there but I don't know if this is really the kind of subject that inspires meet ups because I guess we hide behind our online identities more than most.
ReplyDeleteI have met many people from the internet though and there are times I've walked into pubs without knowing what anyone I'm there to meet looks like.