Making a Match

Hi everyone,

As usual I have a number of things I would love to post about and have meant to over the past few months but haven't because of things and stuff and reasons so I thought I would combine them in one post (which I haven't written yet and will be a bit long) but there is also a new entry in my Quantum Leap series (which is long and mostly written) so I thought I would just put something up as to that effect but luckily I have something to say.

A few months ago I bought some coloured tights (red, green, blue) cheaply and today being a Bank Holiday and I'm at home so I thought I would try the red pair out but I was a little stumped as to what they would go with so I sought some answers online (it holds the answers to everything).  I came across an article by Jessica Booth on Gurl.com from 2014 which was very enlightening for example pairing a pair of coloured tights with all your neutral colours, a striped dress, a black dress or using them to give a pop of colour to an outfit. Alternatively you can just go for it with whatever outfit and see what happens. I know from experience that things just go together sometimes when you didn't think they would.

Here's the link: How To Wear Coloured Tights

The one piece of advice I really took on board was to draw a colour from your outfit. For example, when I wore the green tights I paired them with a black dress that has green bird shapes on. There's also my Lost dress (which is not named for the mystery island TV show which ran from 2004-2010 but because whenever I wear it I get lost. This is the dress I got myself stranded in London in) which has pink and light blue flowers on it so I began thinking of the combinations I could use.

So what did I go with in the end? I am presently wearing a pair of blue denim turn-up shorts, black T-shirt (with Optimus Prime on) and a black cardigan with the red tights of course (not a a bright red but more of an earthy colour) plus bright red nails. They've also gone quite well with a pair of brown faux-sheepskin boots I have and some blue trainers. Ended up going for a walk in them too which still takes a spurt of confidence.

Changing Rooms

Today was not one of my betters ones. 

So anyway I mentioned in my last post about a few skirts I had my eye on and today I went into the shop to try them on. Trying things on in a shop is one of the more stressful things I find about my little adventures in crossdressing. Luckily most around my way have a single unisex room (even though in most I have to approach an assistant and mumble my way through asking for a key while trying to conceal my possible purchase. Those are mostly second hand shops though but this time it's a chain store with both a male and female department. 

I picked out my stuff, three miniskirts a black leather look one, a pink leather look one and a light brown one. There was a yellow tartan one which I have been coveting since I saw it because it looks very Cher from Clueless but unfortunately it wasn't there. Not wanting to take my chances with the women's changing room I slunk upstairs to the men's, grabbed a t-shirt to cover the skirts, and tried on the skirts. All too small for me. I picked out my usual size but it seems that means a touch smaller in this store. Oh well, that's sometimes the way it goes. I searched in vain for the right size but it wasn't there so I left. I was quite stressed at this point due to the usual fears and paranoia. 

However, after a cup of tea and a look round some other stores I decided to return. Managed to find my size in the black mini and I finally found the yellow tartan skirt! This time I got a little bolder and went to the women's changing room and was promptly asked to go to the men's upstairs because it was the women's department. Of course I could have explained that although I was a man I was intending to purchase articles from the Womenswear department but I couldn't be bothered to offload all this on the poor shop assistant and cause a scene. So I slunk back up to Menswear (which must always be said in a John Inman type deep voice. I'm imagining it now), grabbed another t-shirt and tried to avoid eye-contact with the guy I met before.  

Well, this time they seemed to fit except that the yellow tartan one had a fairly dodgy zip on it which I managed to get stuck! Yes, sometimes TG captions do come true. It was a fairly hot day anyway and I was getting more stressed with this thing plus I think there was a bit of a gap in the curtain in the changing area too so sweat was pouring down my face. Even though I've done this so many times I'm still aware of what the world at large thinks of it. My own fears, stresses and paranoia get the better of me and it makes me so angry and that causes me to crash and get depressed. So anyway I was able to wriggle out of it and get out of the changing room. Swapping the skirt for a better one and paying for it was a breeze compared to that and I was relieved to get out of there. 

Except that when I got back home I found that I had inadvertently bought a smaller size in the yellow tartan skirt. The hanger lied to me. So anyway, I'll probably head up there early tomorrow to change it and hopefully I might even enjoy my purchases. 

Oh and the girl in the bakery said she liked my nail polish. Which was nice. In case you're wondering, this weekend it's a sparkly red. Try to imagine Dorothy's ruby slippers from Wizard of Oz in liquid form and you have it. So anyway, swings and roundabouts. 

July Update

I've had a few ups and downs this month.

I did go to a friend's birthday wearing a dress (the one I bought last time) and did get a little self conscious. Not too sure why this time, sometimes I just get attacks of doubt especially with the amount of travelling I have to do although I am learning to manage it more. I did have someone ask me my pronoun though for the first time.

I haven't bought much recently but again I had a few doubts when I was trying on some stuff. I just thought I looked lumpy and hairy and horrible. However this can change because I also saw some skirts I really wanted earlier that same day.

Lots more I've wanted to post about recently but I never seem ti have the time to sit down and do it. Hope to have more soon.

Think Pink

Today is National Pink Day so it's no better time to make a post I've been meaning to for a few weeks.

I'm never really going to a pink girl. Bright colours aren't really my thing and indeed since I've started dressing it's interesting to note that I've seen how much black I wear without blue jeans to break it up. However being a pink girl for a while would be fun. As a man I've never really wanted to experiment with different styles that much, grunge, goth, preppie etc but I would love to explore different styles in female clothing; dressing as a chav or a goth or a cybergoth would be really cool. As I've said earlier, I would just as much love dressing as punky chick in ripped tights and a tartan skirt as much as a smart preppy girl in pussy bow blouses, houndstooth skirts and carrying a large handbag.

So at least once I would like to be the pink girl with bright pink nails and a short pink dress maybe with some fluffy pink shoes or a bag. I would probably feel compelled to wear a blonde wig too just to complete the set. I did spot a nice pink dress in a charity shop the other week and was going to try it on just to see what it would look like on me with no intention of buying it (no really honestly. Stop laughing at the back I'm being totally serious just like those guys who want to remake The Last Jedi. I said stop laughing!). I did paint my nails bright pink a couple of weeks ago and really liked the shade and in fact today I have like a metallic pink glittery shade on which does look a bit teen airhead.

Funnily enough I saw a girl in a shop today in such a cute outfit: fluffy pink hooded jacket, hot pink strappy top, denim mini skirt with frayed hem and sandals with pink fluff on. Totally not my style but I would love to wear that outfit. So maybe a little smattering of pink may do me some good.

June Update

So then after a brief wobble last time, I actually had a really good night a couple of weeks ago when I did a pub quiz. Seriously, I was still smiling the next morning in work and a Monday morning at that so it has to have been really good. I wore a dark blue top with a white Peter Pan collar (which I adore and it fits me so well. Not too tight or too loose) and a lighter blue skirt with a some black tights and my trainers (which always make me feel more at ease anyway).

It wasn't a great night for us in the quiz but I ended up in some interesting conversations especially on the bus back about why I do this. So yes, overall positive.

As for any recent shopping, I bought another dress. I totally didn't mean to though as I have enough already... but I thought I would just try it on...just to see what it looked like...and I loved it. It's black with a small collar with squares and flowers and is a bit Clara Oswald which I suppose it part of why I like it. Rule one - don't fall in love. Oh and there was also a bright red heart necklace.

The Shopping Forecast

Here's a mini-update things that may turn into a rant.

I've been getting really frustrated recently with myself for not going out dressed more. It's like I see women in the street now and feel more jealous than I usually do. Sometimes just opening the door is a big step for me and for a while I've wanted to do my Saturday shopping dressed. Part of it I think is because this area is so familiar to me and with London I can keep moving and get lost in a crowd plus there's also the fact that most of my clothes have come from the charity shops round here. I do suffer from chronic indecision and this time my fears got the better of me and I didn't today. In case you were wondering, it was going to be a denim miniskirt (which I'm wearing now) but I do have bright red nails at the moment so a bit of it was there. Nearly went out dressed to a quiz the other week but the dread words 'replacement bus service' made me decide against it. I can just about do the train but not that. Not that I mean all buses but any travel issue will send me reeling.

Only bought a shirt today. A male shirt.  I know, I'm disgusted with myself too.

I'm still looking to buy some new shoes but can't seem to find anything I like. Shoes have never really been a thing for me as I wear trainers a lot but I think in some situations it calls for something a bit smarter just to fit the feminine aesthetic. This is also the reason why I tried to shave off my body hair last week. Now, I did see a nice pair today, shiny black and with chunky heels and they did have a bit of a gothy/alt look about them. I saw them in a charity shop before, tried them on and left it to chance. they disappeared the next week but turned up in another shop. I tried them on again and came close to buying them but I left it to chance again as I'm not sure about the height of the heel. Never worn heels before so of course it felt a bit odd. I'm undecided about them so should they be still there next week I may even get them.

Also nearly bought a jumper from ASDA in the sale which i really liked but it's near the end of the month and while money is not tight I still think I should stop for a bit as I seem to be buying clothes every week. Just last week I bought what I have dubbed 'The Most Impractical Jumper in History' which is green and white striped with bell sleeves and ties on the end. I would still like the other jumper so perhaps if it's still there next week I'll nab it. Oh and I also tried on a pair of light blue boots. Trying now to recall what else I've bought. There was an octopus necklace which looked like a cursed idol from a horror film, a black rose ring and a grey midi pleated skirt. Also, as you know I was looking at mod dresses from Atom Retro and now there's a sale on so...yup back to chronic indecision.

 

May Update

Well, time does fly and it seems I've missed out any sort of entry for April so I'll endeavor to update a bit on this Bank Holiday Monday while I have some time of from a stressful time at work.

I have bought a number of things over the weeks and in fact nary a week goes by without me picking up something new but it still does give me a lot of pleasure looking round all the clothes shops of a Saturday and picking up something. Two things I've bought recently among some new necklaces a ring and some skirts is a lovely red plaid dress with a black pleather collar (a bit worse for wear unfortunately) and some shorts. Now, ever since I started thinking about getting in to CD proper, I've wanted a pair of denim turn up shorts and love the look they give when paired with black tights. They have some fashionable rips in them which is to be honest not a style I like but I can bear it although some people take it up to stupid levels, walking along the street in jeans with such huge rips and tears in you wonder if they had just been attacked by a wild animal. The shorts are a little big for me but otherwise I'm loving them.

I've had my eye on a dress with a Harry Potter theme recently and I've just taken the plunge and ordered it. Vintage clothes are something I've dipped my toe into especially those from around the mid 20th century, I already own a 1940s style Land Girl dress from Hell Bunny and something else I've been thinking about now is a 1960s mod style dress so I've been eyeing up some of the stuff at Atom Retro. Perhaps paired with some Go Go boots too. I do mean to invest in some more shoes as well. I've been looking around but nothings seems to catch my eye.

I continue to dress quite often, usually when I get home from work as a way of reclaiming myself, but sometimes outside which I still hope to do more of. I have considered putting on a dress to go shopping in but although I can brave London, my local area feels a little too much for now.

Speaking of work, I've often had the fantasy of getting up at the normal time, catching the normal train...and then turning right round and catching the next one back. This started years ago back when I was in college and I used to see the bus home leaving just as I arrived. Now I'm wondering how cool it would be to wear a dress just for this little trip (on a day off obviously) and there are obviously thoughts of whether to get breakfast (this is a very important point). So that's a little fantasy of mine to round off.