July Update

My mood has a horrible habit of shifting with each passing week. I really enjoy my Saturdays shopping, even more so since I started buying more clothes. I don't think I realised before how much its opened up my world although I swear that one of the shops has started applying 'men' and 'women' labels to their racks especially for me (ok, so I'm exaggerating for self-deprecation purposes here).

Some weeks I feel really good about myself but others I just feel really down, like what I'm doing is somehow seedy and unacceptable. I wonder if it would be better if I just put the genie back in the bottle and never dress again for the rest of my life. Would it affect me? Could I live without it? Maybe a few years exploring it is fine but somehow it just keeps coming back up. I should be glad to be living in a free country where I can fully explore it (well, within reason. I would still fear going out dressed) and in this year, which has taken so many people from us, I am feeling that I should live my life more the way I want to as it's so short. Too short to be afraid.

I did buy some more clothes over the weekend using up an old voucher. Such a wonderful black evening dress, looks gorgeous and fits well. I would love a place to wear it to. I do worry that I'm getting more clothes with no place to put them or even to wear them too. At least putting together a cosplay outfit means it will be seen. This almost feels like a useless hobby.

I even had a dream last night. I was wearing a dress, big poofy thing with big sleeves and a long skirt and I was constantly running from people trying to find some place to hide, feeling ever more embarrassed. Now, according to various dream interpretations, crossdressing in dreams for men means that you need to get more in touch with your feminine side (and on the flip side getting in touch with your masculine side if a woman dreams of crossdressing) but I think maybe for me its a more literal interpretation.

Pink Library #9: With the Blink of an Eye - The Life of Brian

This is a new story on Fictionmania I've really enjoyed recently.

Here's the link:

With the Blink of an Eye - The Life of Brian by Brittany Montgomery

This is the first part of the story and a second has just gone up today. It's a slow burn transformation featuring a man, bored of his life, who on his commute to work one day sees these carefree, preppy high-school girls and he find he cannot shake the image of a blonde girl winking at him and the wish that he had their lifestyle.

Over the course of the day at work he begins to think and act a little like them; spending all day on Lookbook and Pinterest searching out cute outfits and make-up tutorials. Steadily, his new habits take over. The second part "Dream a Little Dream of Me" sees this continue even into his dreams in which he finds himself as one of the girls (yet still looking like a man).

I'm following this avidly now so I'm looking forward to reading more from the author.

Ask Me Anything

The eagle-eyed among you will spot a fresh contact form to the left. Please feel free to put any comments and questions to me. I will try and answer on the blog.

I didn't mean for email to be a mandatory field, by the way, but I can't seem to change it.

Cosplay List

Since I've been thinking about it recently, here's a list of crossplays I'm thinking about:

• Cher (Clueless - yellow plaid suit)
• Amy Pond (Pirate outfit from The Curse of the Black Spot)
• Harley Quinn (Surely a must for most crossplayers. Not sure which version. Not the traditional one but perhaps Suicide Squad version)
• Scarlet Witch (Age of Ultron)
• Clara Oswald (Time of the Doctor - both outfits)
• Clara Oswald (Waitress outfit from Hell Bent)
• Clara Oswald (Asylum of the Daleks)
• Clara Oswald (Journey to the Centre of the TARDIS)
• Alex Drake (Ashes to Ashes)
• Buffy Summers (Prophecy Girl)
• Rose Tyler (1950s dress from The Idiots Lantern)
• Chiana (Farscape - more of a fantasy since all that body paint really isn't my style)
• Jennifer Walters AKA She Hulk (Business suit, green make-up. Again, fantasy)
• Peggy Carter (Perhaps army uniform or blue suit)
• Jubilee (I liked her look in X-Men: Apocalypse)
• Kaylee Frye (Firefly)

There are some more gender appropriate cosplays I've considered including: The Tenth Doctor and Castiel (Supernatural). 

The list will probably change as time goes on. 

Amy Returns 2

In the last couple of days I've posted some more pictures of myself in costume and I'm torn between liking them and wanting to curl up and die.

Overall though, the more I think about it, the more I enjoyed the experience and am filled with a renewed vigor for cosplay. I think if I want to do it properly then I'm going to have to up my game a bit more; toy around with make-up and different looks. Maybe some falsies too. Although my aim with crossdressing would be just to incorporate more feminine clothes into my regular wear, I've never wanted to be a full-on female impersonator until recently when I've been thinking about it a lot more. I guess to properly cosplay, to do it justice, I need to experiment a lot more at least to make up for my body shape failings. I have lost a lot of weight recently though and the idea is beginning to excite me.

I've been thinking of going to a dressing service again and maybe watching a few tutorials on make-up and gaffs and stuff. I'm full of ideas again and looking forward to cosplaying again.

Amy Returns

Hello everyone,

I went to a convention yesterday with some friends of mine. I was considering various cosplays out of my existing ideas to try and had the idea of bringing my Amy Pond crossplay back. The night before I did feel quite positive about it all and I think my nerves were mainly about where and when to change. I knew that once I got past that hurdle then everything would be fine. Although there was a dedicated cosplay change area it was a little, um, intimate so I ended up getting changed in the toilets.

The day was definitely helped by the fact that I had some friends attending in cosplay too (and very good cosplay at that). I didn't really feel nervous at all but I was still a bit self-conscious. This was mainly due to the wig I had and it's a shame I didn't consider changing it before but as ever my procrastination meant that I didn't decide on what, if anything, I would be doing. I knew that if I didn't do any cosplay at all then I would feel rubbish the whole day especially walking round with my friends. I nearly did a Wash (from Firefly) cosplay just for the sake of not walking round in my normal clothes. Have I said the word 'cosplay' enough yet?

Anyway, I got a good enough reaction. It wasn't overwhelming but at least it was more positive than not. I stand by the outfit but I think it was just the wig that bothered me. I do cringe a bit when I look back at the photos now. I think I need to up my game a bit if I want to do this properly.

A good day overall though.

May Update

Apologies once again for not writing sooner but a bit of lethargy has set in. Work has also been very busy and extra stressful recently.

Bought some new clothes recently including a nice Tartan mini skirt and a grey sparkly jumper which has become my new favourite thing. Probably more as well but I can't remember. Need more tops though and dresses and I need to try shoes at some point. Lately I've been veering towards wanting to try the full thing with wigs and make-up and everything.

There is a very mixed cosplay update too. I started constructing my Cher costume...which has ultimately failed at this point at least. The suit I bought was too small (although the skirt sorta fits) and the cardigan I bought was too small. Bought a white top and white knee high socks though which seem to be fine. I can't lie that it's disappointing but I hope to give it another shot soon. I also got a red Star Trek dress which looks lovely. Now all I need for that is a pair of boots.