Check-Up #21

So anyway a few things that have happened recently. 

Last week I bought a lovely new summer dress. A little short maybe but otherwise fine. I also got a bracelet which looks a little like barbed wire so it's bit punky which is cool. Otherwise I've been a bit preoccupied with my thoughts on dressing for a works party. I thought a lot about it, trying to weight it up, picked out a dress and also sought advice from my friends on social media. The day came and so I stuffed the dress and some jewellery in the suitcase (I was staying in a hotel overnight) and ultimately the time came and I opted not to wear it. Perhaps I need to start a little smaller than the gathering planned. 

I can't say it made me feel more miserable than I think I would have been at a large gathering and as such I didn't feel so self-conscious. I still paint my nails most weeks though so it's not like I don't show that side of myself (this night though they were silver with a coat of glitter on). There is a twist though. I did feel the need to talk to someone about it and the amount of alcohol I had didn't do me any favours but I did end up confiding in a colleague in the end and he seemed ok with it. So I don't know what will happen from here on out so I guess we will see. I was worrying a lot about but I perhaps built it up a little too much in my mind. As a friend of mine said, I had to weigh up how safe and scared I would feel coming out but also the effects on my mental health if I didn't and it's something like that which I had never considered before.