Role With It: Caption Trade

This is just a brief Rachel's Haven thing I'm trying to drum up some people for.

Evie, she of the wonderful TG Backburner, has invented the game of Role With It which really pushes my buttons. Stepping into another person's clothes and becoming like them has always been a fantasy of mine.

Anyway, I've set up a thread to do a mass caption trade using the game so hopefully people can take a look see and sign up if they fancy it.

The thread is here: Role With It Caption Trade

The original game is detailed here: Role With It Cards and Caps

My Week #2

I did mean to post a few things this week that I never got around to so here is one big jumble full of stuff. 

First off we have Love Shaft. Now, this is a trashy dating show featuring not so bright young things which is much beloved and laughed at by myself and my housemate which goes out every Monday on E4. Basically, the contestant is in a lift and he/she faces a suitor on every floor which they then do an activity with before deciding whether to stay with or dump them for the one on the next floor.There were a couple of things I noticed this week, firstly the girl on there just did not like men with scoop necked t-shirts.

This seems to be a growing trend and it's one I think looks very feminine in a way. The male version of showing a bit of (waxed probably) chest. Now, I wouldn't think of wearing something like that because it's a bit poser-ish but it's just a thought that occurred to me. The second thing I noticed about the show was a segment where they had 3 guys kiss the blindfolded girl: the current lift guy, a dwarf and a transvestite. Who was wearing the same wig I wore when I dressed as Amy Pond *sigh*. 

On Wednesday, I saw a girl swimming in the park in a very cute outfit. Pink mini-skirt and a 'Guns and Roses' T-shirt tied to her waist. She looked really nice. The same day I was watching an episode of Community and the always lovely Alison Brie was wearing a cute grey mini-skirt that I really loved. 

There is another Doctor Who convention coming up and I wasn't going to go due to the dates clashing with something else and it being a wee bit expensive...and then they announce David Tennant and Billie Piper. This needs more serious consideration.

Well, I think that's about it for this week. There was a girl, someone I knew in college years ago, that I was kind of thinking of asking out bit I found out she's in a relationship. Oddly enough it doesn't affect me that much but at least I know. I may start trying a few dating websites. 

Sick

Well, I'm sitting at home at the moment off sick from work and and I'm feeling a bit rubbish. In a weird way I wish I felt a little worse then I do to kind of even it out a bit.

Basically, I got up this morning and had some trouble with my stomach which does tend to happen a lot. I've suffered from Irritable Bowel Syndrome for most of my life and it can get really bad at times but I've tried to never let it stop me doing anything. So I felt pretty bad this morning, missed my lift and thought I might go in a bit later. Then time continued and I was feeling worse so I called in sick.

The trouble is that now I'm feeling better and wonder if I could have gone in after all. I almost feel guilty for sitting at home when I could be working and it's making me a little depressed. Of course I've also taken some medicine which has cleared things up. It just feels so odd that I'm almost willing myself to be ill so that I feel properly justified in staying home.  

Snickers

Ah Snickers, the name still makes me flinch slightly. I remember when they were called Marathon. And Starburst were Opal Fruits. I can still recall the ad from 1992 featuring a French woman inexplicably wandering around a station looking for Snickers which leads me on to the reason for this post.

This is the latest series of ads and they are based on the premise of being hungry turns you into a diva. For some reason this floats my transformation fantasies boat and I love the concept. Joan Collins is good and the other actors play it wonderfully.

Occasionally I will put up little videos and stuff I like because, hey, it's my blog. Some might be from the past or the present. If I put up one from the future then it gets scary. I also hope one day to find an advert that was on around 1998/99. I can't recall what it was for, some kind of games system, but it featured a family swapping roles many times over.

Doctor Who Cosplay

After my shenanigans last weekend, I got to thinking about other types characters I could do in the future.

Amy has some great outfits of course and very simple to do. I guess that's the attractive thing about it, the clothes don't look too out of place as some would do. That's why men love putting a black suit on: it's smart and makes you look cool and it can be passed off as James Bond, The Blues Brothers, Reservoir Dogs and countless others.

I would love to do Idris, the human form of the TARDIS, in that wonderful bluey gothy dress.

I saw Tegan's purple air stewardess uniform on sale as a fancy dress outfit a year ago and thought about that. There was also a green shirt and shorts that Rory wears in Day of the Moon, I could just cover myself with marks and that would be a pretty easy costume. I've never really thought about any of the Doctor's costumes apart from maybe David Tennant's which is pretty nice plus I have the coat. I bought it to wear as Mal Reynolds from Firefly one Halloween. The first pictures of Tennant in costume were released around that time and most people thought I was meant to be him despite the absence of a pinstripe.

I love the feminised fan costumes there are about these days too like the Dalek girls:

There are also some wonderful designs featuring the TARDIS, Cybermen and even individual Doctors. I saw one girl wearing a Tenth Doctor outfit with a pinstripe mini-skirt and another dressed as the Second Doctor albeit with a chequered kilt-like skirt with a blue shirt, black jacket and bow tie. It's wonderful that people are being so creative with the concept.  

 A T-girl friend of mine said I should do the new companion at some point. Of course that all depends on what she wears...

The Convention

Ok, yeah so I totally rocked it.

The convention was a lot of fun in the end. I saw some people I knew from previous years and they had some great guests. I even met Matt Smith, however briefly.

I wore the costume on Saturday night and I couldn't stop thinking about it all day. When the time came to put it on I didn't feel as nervous as I have previous times although as I walked down the corridors it did seem eerily quiet and I could hear every step. I still had doubts over the wig and there were so many good Amys about. I looked down at my feet and I was pretty good although looking at the full thing in the mirror my upper body seemed out of proportion with the rest. I didn't have falsies in, by the way. As always you do get the odd comment but I've always been able to handle them which is strange for me since I usually take such things very personally. "Terrifying but brilliant" was how one of the guests described me. I even met up with another 'drag Amy' and we had a few pictures taken that I believe have made it onto Twitter. Well, I kind of requested one sent to a friend of mine to cheer her up. We even had a few dances once the disco started up. Someone requested "Dude Looks Like A Lady" by Aerosmith. Can't think why...

At one point, early in the morning and through my drunken haze I saw a girl in a UNIT uniform. And reader, I married her. Actually no, I didn't even speak to her but I've always wanted to write that line. I've enjoyed the odd kiss at a convention in the past and I seem to put too much pressure on myself by hoping that it might happen again, some small morsel of romantic entanglement to convince me that I may still have a love life one day. Oh, and as for being drunk as well that was no mean feat at £4.40 a pint at the hotel but one rarely left my hand that night as I used it as a kind of crutch. I believe this was only partially down to the alcohol though; having something to hold in my hand somehow helped my nerves although, as I said, I wasn't really that nervous.

Searching back through the wilderness for my point, the dancing girl brought to mind a couple of things. Firstly, that I hadn't noticed the women in drag getting as much attention as some of us guys and I'm not sure whether I should feel a little jealous of that. Secondly, that I would rather be the Doctor's flighty assistant than a soldier any day. There were some lovely female versions of Doctor costumes around too.

Once I got back to my room I almost didn't want to take the costume off and I was really proud of myself that day. It turned out to be one of the highlights of my weekend. I have to admit to feeling quite sad, as I normally do, when I had to leave and it was all over. I've had a couple of days off and it's back to work tomorrow.

Looking back now even after the post I made yesterday, crossdressing doesn't seem as scary as it once was and I'm not sure what this means for me. Maybe I'm finally coming to terms with it.

Confession

Ok, so I was all set to write about my weekend and I got halfway through it but I had to leave for a bit. Anyway, something else came up that I wanted to write about.

 Tonight I was chatting to my housemate about my weekend. I've known the guy since school so that's around 20 years roughly and he's my best friend. He knows I've dressed up before but he didn't know what I was going to do this time and so asked me straight whether I did it for the attention (as I was speaking about the guy I met in Ibiza earlier) or whether it was something else. I said it was a bit of both which is the first time I've admitted something like that to him.

 We haven't talked about it much since, I later felt the need to assert the fact that I was not a transvestite. I keep turning it all over in my head and it's bothering me slightly. As I say though, we haven't talked about it much and although I have a burning desire to I think it may be better left alone for now. That said, I do know a couple of his fetishes and again we've never really discussed such things although I think sometimes he wishes we could as I've never enjoyed that much of a love life.

My Week #1

Well, it's been an interesting week and one that got me thinking about my fears. 

I had a task to do at work that I kept putting off and once I completed it, I wondered why I had put it off for so long. It got me thinking about a lot of stuff. Fear has always held me back when its come to romance and that fear ends up turning into self-loathing. Whenever I went to a club I always wanted to be a woman just sitting on a high stool, perhaps a long red dress, just waiting for someone to come up to her and talk. It's the starting point that I just need. 

Anyway, off to the convention tomorrow. I'm not back at work until Wednesday and I have 3 days of drinking and star spotting to look forward to. I know I'm going to be nervous about my costume but hopefully I'll get through it.     

Headband

Well, another day, another piece of feminine clothing.

I was re-watching The Time of Angels/Flesh and Stone yesterday. I don't know why I din't before and I noticed a few things. First of all the red jumper is more of a hoodie but there's no time to sort that out really. Black socks go over the tights and Amy appears to be wearing a headband too. So, I stopped into a shop on the way home from work and bought one. It's a little tight but hopefully it will also keep the wig in place. I'm still dissatisfied with its colour. I did buy a headband before to go with a cheerleader costume; it was red with a large bow on the top and looks quite cute.

I have to wonder whether if doing something like this, managing to buy something feminine every day no matter how little or large it is would be good and get me used to buying stuff like that but I'm not really sure it's something I would want to do that regularly anyway. For all my paranoia, the people in the shops probably think  it's for my wife or girlfriend. I wonder if anyone's ever thought what a kind boyfriend I am by buying this stuff for my non-existent partner.

The Complete Amy

I bought some tights today and completed my outfit. They're not quite the same colour but look nice and shiny. I tried the whole thing on quickly and I have to admit it looks really good and gives me a bit of a thrill too.

The only downside is that my wig isn't quite the same colour red; it's more of a dark red than a ginger but it's the best I could do so we'll just have to see.

Overall, I'm pretty satisfied with the outfit so far.  

Skirt

I've not really had the best day today.

Work has been manic recently so I've been a little down despite the 4 day holiday. So anyway, I went back to the shopping centre to get the black skirt but it was gone so I guess it must have been on the sale rail or something. This led to me traipsing round quite a few shops in search of a black skirt and for such a simple and ubiquitous item it proved hard to find.

Going round all those shops just depressed me and I couldn't help but get paranoid that all eyes were on me and wondering why a guy like me would be flipping through the skirts on the rails. I even had the perfect excuse, which was the truth anyway. The old lie: going to a fancy dress party. Women's clothing departments seem oddly arranged too. I guess with men it's simpler because there's less choice. however the placing is odd too, normally the mens department is upstairs or they place it next to the lingerie. I haven't had a problem buying female clothing in the past; on the rare times I have no-one has said anything but being paranoid I can't help but think that people are going to laugh at me behind my back or gossip that they served a man today.

This is the odd thing about it really, it sounds like I don't enjoy crossdressing at all but maybe I just haven't found the way in which it works for me. I've rarely hated my fetishes more than today and was quite relieved when I finally purchased a skirt. When I got home though and tried it on, I have to say I really liked it and felt an illicit thrill about trying it on or even thinking about it.

Finally, I've just read that Petra is leaving Rachel's Haven. A shame but she's found love and that can be a rare thing. I have to wonder whether a relationship would temper my urges or simply give me another channel for them. The Haven is the best outlet I've found so far.

Skirts Vs Shorts

Well, yesterday went pretty much as I had feared but it wasn't that bad in the end and the alcohol does seem to make my mood, whatever it may be, higher than it is.

So anyway, here's another little observation of mine. Now, I love the mini-skirt and in particular a nice pleated one.

However, if I was a girl I wonder if I would be the sort to wear one or just stick with trousers. I mean, it has to be really hot weather to get me to wear shorts so a mini skirt? But then if I was a girl I expect I would have worn plenty, especially as part of a school uniform so it's also a surprise that I like the combination of shorts and tights that seems to be in fashion these days. Needless to say I would also pick one of Mary Quant's creations over hotpants. 

Perhaps it's just the hipster chick in me trying to get out but I think it's a really classy look and the woman who made me fall in love with it was Becki Newton who played Amanda on Ugly Betty. If I had a choice of something to wear on a night out it would probably be this but then a skirt is more overtly feminine; shorts are at least still a bit masculine so again it comes from the fear. I was reading Eve's Rib's blog a while back, Jamie Vesta is so wonderfully talented, and it hit me that maybe men are more suited to skirts and women to trousers and shorts. The latter could be as tight as possible because there is noting to crush or embarrassing bulges to hold back but in a skirt it could all hang loose and free although the aforementioned man reaction would probably look a wee bit worse in a skirt. 

Hmm back to the drawing board maybe. 

Present Shopping and Others

I spent a couple of hours wandering around a shopping centre after work yesterday looking for various things but mainly birthday presents: I have 3 birthdays coming up next weekend to buy for plus Fathers Day is in a couple of weeks.

Have you ever been trapped in a store by your own choice? I was wandering around HMV to buy some DVDS and I knew I wasn't leaving without buying something. Then I noticed they were doing 2 for £10 so, with one in my hand, I needed another. By the end of it I would have picked up anything just to leave that store. I managed to get a ginger wig though for Amy Pond and an eyepatch. I did up seeing a black mini skirt as well, quite cheap and it should fit although the stores were closing so I'll have to get it another time. I might have to pluck up the courage to take it to the counter too. After all, it's just a piece of clothing and how would they know if I'm buying it for myself? Yeah, I can tell myself that but it doesn't quite convince somehow.

Later on today I'm off to an engagement party which I'm dreading. Another reminder that I don't have a partner and surely any girls I do see there I'll either be too nervous to talk to plus they'll end up having chinless wonders for boyfriends too. I don't know why I bother; an afternoon of feeling insecure, depressed, drunk and stuffed on barbecue food. Ok, so the last two don't sound all bad.