Check-Up #19

So what's been going on lately? 

Well quite a bit as it goes. I bought a new pair of jean shorts which I'm quite pleased with although they are advertised as 'mom shorts' which mostly annoys me because here in the UK it should be 'mum shorts' plus it makes me feel my age. I've not worn anything out recently unfortunately but hopefully I'm get some more chances over the summer months although they are never my favourite due to the amount of hair I have and the effort I have to put into it to shave it all. I have been thinking of maybe going for a waxing at some point though which may be expensive but could work. Might make me feel better anyway and less like a hairy lump. I still regularly see things I would love to buy though and recently there's a lovely matching pink jacket and skirt I've seen. If the store in question still had changing rooms I would have loved to try it on but they don't and for some reason they've never re-opened that part since it was closed during lockdown. The set does appeal to my Clueless sense of style though, or something Legally Blonde's Elle Woods might wear, and I don't know if I would ever wear it anywhere but it is tempting. I also hope to get in some cosplay at some point. I still want to buy new stuff but I hardly wear it anywhere and I don't know if I want to go to conventions on my own just to wear an outfit. 

Last month I talked about Twitter and I finally joined. Nothing much up yet apart from some comments on caps and a few tweets of posts from this blog but if you want to drop on by I'm at @TerriDesires. It will probably mainly links to this, maybe some news stuff to do with crossdressing and other bits I find interesting. I don't know if I will do any caps yet but I probably will do and it will be a challenge to keep to 140 characters. 

Finally 'what's in a name?' you may say. Well, this week the actor Dennis Waterman died and that name may not mean much to anyone outside the UK but growing up he was quite the small screen action star in programmes such as The Sweeney, Minder and New Tricks. He was also sent up in the sketch show Little Britain as a diminutive actor who liked to 'write the theme tune, sing the theme tune' (all of which sounded like the Minder theme) on all his projects. Yes, that was based on a real person and yes he really did sing the theme to a number of his shows. He also had the good grace to join Matt Lucas and David Walliams on stage once to perform. 

George Cole (left) and Dennis Waterman (right)
in a 1979 publicity shot for Minder

Photo credit: IMDB

So what does this have to do with me? Well, Waterman played the role of Terry McCann an ex-con turned bodyguard to shady entrepreneur Arthur Daley in Minder which ran from 1979 to 1994 (although Waterman left a few series earlier) and I often thought I would like to have been called Terry (not my real male name though for any that thought I was just being lazy and switching the 'y' for an 'I') so when I joined Rachel's Haven and wanted to put in a female name I thought of Terri. I think mainly though the more femme way of spelling it is Teri but looking it up today I see that is in use as a female name and is a common way of shortening Teresa. It can also be used as a male name and means 'late summer' which I didn't know before. If ever I did go by a more femme name it probably wouldn't be Terri but incidentally if anyone can think up a more suitable name for me, please let me know as I would love to know what people think would suit me. 

Schoolgirl

I enjoyed writing yesterdays blog on fantasies so today my mind wanders back to my schooldays and I wonder what I would have been like as a schoolgirl. I'm talking senior school, or high school, age by the way.

I reckon it would probably have been much the same, fat and geeky, perhaps with a long skirt, jumper, buttoned up shirt and tie. I know we all wonder what it would be like to go back to our teenage years and what we would do differently now. Maybe finally stand up to that bully, study harder and ace every test or just ease off a little and enjoy your freedom more but what would it be like as a different gender. That one change alone puts you in with a different group of people and even though you may essentially be the same person, your surroundings and what is expected of you differ.

I always remember my year got three new students at the beginning of one year. The girls flocked around the only girl there, the guys were talking to the thin, athletic dude and then there was this other guy sitting in the corner. I went over and talked to him and he became one of my best friends for many years. We still keep in contact, by the way, but don't see each other as much as we used to. Oddly enough it was him who introduced me to the gang of friends I hung around with for the rest of my time there, people who had been in my year for the last two or three years.

Perhaps I would like to think I would be more outgoing as a girl but I would probably be the same same shy geek although I would have different friends. Some may have been the same as me but who knows I may have fallen in with the more popular girls who would teach me about make-up and wearing my skirt short. Maybe I would have had a bigger gang of friends and done more things. Sounds a bit like Mean Girls but you never know what might have happened. Of course we had people who were more popular than others, held in higher respect, but it wasn't like a clique or anything. Perhaps I've just watched too much American TV but that's probably a stereotypical view of high school. Never had cheerleaders and I doubt I would have tried out anyway but I did kind of covert the girls sports skirts and tops. They used to play a lot of netball at my school. I used to steal my sister's school skirt when she was otherwise occupied and dress up.

I used to have an odd little fantasy as well. I used to imagine I was I woke up in an alternate universe (but I was aware of it) and was now the equivalent of one of the more popular girls, who I remember used to have a great dress sense. In fact I chronicled it in a caption. The below cap was made for Rachel's Haven caption competition in March 2011 which had 'Everything is Wrong Day' as its topic. The picture is a promo from the 2009 film Tormented 

The New Lisa (2011)

Another fantasy I had was for one of the girls to teach me how to be like her. How to dress, do make-up, behave in class, what to put in my bag etc.I would love to write this up as a story one day and its been a constant fantasy through my life for a woman (she could be a goth, chav, bimbo etc) to teach me how to be like her, personality quirks and all.

Maybe my fantasies owe more to my school days than I first thought.

Secretary

Back to work today... but now I can't help thinking what it would be like to be sexy secretary.

Dressed in a white blouse, perhaps buttoned up to the top or maybe with a pixie collar. Long black pencil skirt, black tights and black heels. Perhaps a bob cut or my brown hair all tied back in bun but just dribbling down the sides of my face. Bright red nails and lipstick to match. Answering the phone with poise, style and an ice cool voice. Clattering about the office in my heels, the model of professionalism and cool beauty. Nothing fazes me.

Or...the bubbly blonde. Curly blonde hair, dressed just in a black mini skirt, blouse with too many buttons open and maybe a pink jacket. Big sunglasses, big handbag, forever attached to my pink glittery phone, lots of make-up. A friend to all and the source of all gossip. A proper chatterbox who will say anything to anyone. I like hearing gossip and spreading it, perhaps I have a loud obnoxious laugh too. Long lunches, sneaky shopping trips, coming back in the office laid down with bags and trying to hide them under the desk. Leaving on the dot of half 5. Still damn good at my job and that's why anyone puts up with me.

Or...perhaps the teen office intern. Dressed in the latest fashions. Glad to get the experience yet thinking everything's beneath her. Trendy skirts, tight fitting clothes, going to lunch with mates. Lots to do but little pressure or responsibility.

One of my favourite captions ever is Trend Setter by Evie in which a teen intern picks the trend setter card from the Role With It box and makes a male co-worker dress like her. If you have Haven Gallery access the three parts can be found here: Trend Setter.

Hope you enjoyed my little set of fantasies as much as I did writing them.

Edit: Ooh my 100th blog post! Yay!

Clothes

Another kind of jumbly post this time.

Just finished watching Primeval and first of all I must say a word about Ruth Kearney who plays the tech girl Jess. As well as being cute as a button she wears such wonderfully smart clothes as well. Mini skirts that are not too slutty (although some seem too short for the character) and cute tops. Now that is a smart wardrobe for a modern girl. I would love to dress like her perhaps on a night out to a restaurant or bar, the smart casual kind of look.

Ruth Kearney as Jess in Primeval

I saw a girl on the tube the other day wearing the strangest outfit, well I thought it was anyway, but it was glorious. She was in her twenties, a short brunette (which I have to say is most definitely my type) in a top and green leathery jacket. So far, so indie chick I guess but she then has a tartan skirt on. Not the kind of cute short and pleated that I just adore but an old lady woollen kind of skirt. This was topped off by shoes that were really strappy and showy; the kind you would expect to be worn by an overly made-up bottle blonde in a skimpy dress. I say none of this to insult her, you understand, but this outfit really stood out to me and I sometimes wish I could, or had the confidence, to wear such eclectic mixes of clothes like Japanese girls seem to do.  

Clothes have always intrigued me. People swapping outfits always look fun because a style is very individual and you are passing that on to someone else. A pink-loving bimbo and a goth girl switching togs would always be fun because neither of them would choose that outfit for themselves. Even people wearing the same outfit as another like this still from Suburgatory which started on E4 this week.

Dalia shares her style with Tessa in Suburgatory

The show was a bit like Mean Girls but it will be fun to see how it develops. Recently makeover show Snog, Marry, Avoid has had a new host for the new series in the shape of attractive comedienne Ellie Taylor. The basic idea of the it is that it's a make-under show featuring girls being stripped of their hair extensions, make-up and fake tans for a more natural look. This is a guilty pleasure of mine and although I haven't seen may episodes of the latest series, it has featured Ellie trying out many of the fashions involved like the Scouse Brow or dressing as a WAG.

The below picture is a promotional shot for the show featuring Ellie next to an overly made-up and tarty version of herself. This is the kind of stuff I love; people taking on different personae and looks through clothes. What you wear tells a lot about your personality.

Ellie Taylor and Ellie Taylor in Snog, Marry, Avoid

I'll always remember one day back in 2004 when I wore 3 different kinds of clothes. I had an interview early that day so I had to get up early and put my best suit and tie on. I wear this every day now, I must look quite the young professional which is quite scary. I didn't get that particular job and it remains one of my worst rejections. I came back home and changed back into my regular jeans and t-shirt. Later on I went to work dressed in older clothes: tracksuit bottoms and a big fleece. Three different looks in one day. It may not sound much but this kind of thing sticks in my mind and there's something I could write about it but I'm not sure what.    

Skirts Vs Shorts

Well, yesterday went pretty much as I had feared but it wasn't that bad in the end and the alcohol does seem to make my mood, whatever it may be, higher than it is.

So anyway, here's another little observation of mine. Now, I love the mini-skirt and in particular a nice pleated one.

However, if I was a girl I wonder if I would be the sort to wear one or just stick with trousers. I mean, it has to be really hot weather to get me to wear shorts so a mini skirt? But then if I was a girl I expect I would have worn plenty, especially as part of a school uniform so it's also a surprise that I like the combination of shorts and tights that seems to be in fashion these days. Needless to say I would also pick one of Mary Quant's creations over hotpants. 

Perhaps it's just the hipster chick in me trying to get out but I think it's a really classy look and the woman who made me fall in love with it was Becki Newton who played Amanda on Ugly Betty. If I had a choice of something to wear on a night out it would probably be this but then a skirt is more overtly feminine; shorts are at least still a bit masculine so again it comes from the fear. I was reading Eve's Rib's blog a while back, Jamie Vesta is so wonderfully talented, and it hit me that maybe men are more suited to skirts and women to trousers and shorts. The latter could be as tight as possible because there is noting to crush or embarrassing bulges to hold back but in a skirt it could all hang loose and free although the aforementioned man reaction would probably look a wee bit worse in a skirt. 

Hmm back to the drawing board maybe. 

Snakeskin Skirt

Not actual snakeskin of course but rather that fake look kind.

There's one in a charity shop ( that's like a second hand or thrift store) near to me and I keep thinking about it. The picture below is quite close to it. Now, it won't fit me of course and if I was a girl I'm not sure the female me would wear it but it just appeals so much. Perhaps it's just the allure of something that looks so sexy and slutty like the sort of thing a rich bitch with a smoking hot body would wear strutting down the street.

I worry about my weight a lot. Whenever I buy lunch I worry that it's not healthy enough but then who knows what's healthy anymore? I may berate myself for going to McDonalds but then I see an article in the paper saying that a supermarket sandwich is more fatty than a Big Mac. Still, lunch is always a nice experience as I get out of the office for an hour. It's nice to reconnect with who you are really and yesterday I met up with a friend who had come to London for the day. It really brightened up my day.