Saturday, 25 February 2017


So I had a bit of a moment today. 

I bought a new dress, black with green birds on it, which is all very nice but it's quite low cut and I didn't really notice before I tried it on. Seeing all that hair on my chest reminded me of what I am, of the stereotypical cross dresser. We may like to think we look super sexy in a hot dress but there are things that remind you that you're a hairy, misshapen lump in a piece of clothing not even designed for your gender but for some pretty young woman. 

I realise that this is easily remedied though; I can shave my body or put on a t-shirt (which is what I did and am in fact wearing at this moment) but I guess seeing myself like that brought it into sharp focus. I am considering taking it back but now I've worn it for a bit, plus the addition of a necklace, it's not so bad. I like a nice bit of neck space and I'm not considering breast forms anytime soon but I may watch out for more low cut stuff in future. 

For further clarification, for anyone that cares, I'm wearing the dress (white t-shirt underneath) with a pair of black leggings and a grey sparkly jumper. I've also painted my nails again and trying something new, light red with half painted in a darker red. Very nice and not chipped yet which is a first. Also bought some red lipstick recently. I've been thinking about trying some bright red lipstick for a while now and it looks nice but I still need more application practice. 

Sunday, 19 February 2017

February Update

So anyway, Valentine's Day wasn't all that hot for me. The girl I was dating has said she just wants to be friends. It wasn't a great surprise to be honest but putting a full stop on it still hurts. I guess it's more the realisation that I've now got to start looking and dating again but at least I may get rid of some of my sexual hang-ups.

Of course, I also wonder about my crossdressing. What if I find a new partner and she can't stand it? The point I'm at now, I wonder whether I could give it up but if I really loved her then I guess I would. Better to have lived as I have been for a short while than not at all I guess. It's something that would have to be broached very carefully unless I actually meet someone while dressed or crossplaying which would be a relief. Then again, the crossplaying my be stopping as I've had second thoughts carrying on but I'll post about that at a later date. I've bought a new dress recently and I may have some occasions coming up where I can go out dressed again but I'm now wondering whether I should. I'm still in the mindset of grabbing every opportunity where I can rather than considering whether it's something I feel like doing. I've been wearing necklaces more and more too.

I've also been having something of a new fantasy recently. I'm with a girl, in a relationship, and she's making me dress plus giving me girly things I have to say or do in a kind of gentle domme way. For some reason she calls me Lucy.

Wednesday, 8 February 2017

Valentine's Day

St Valentine's Day is coming soon so here's a little tip from me.

Lots of guys will be shopping around for gifts for the missus so it won't exactly be that odd to see a man in the women's clothing section of a big clothes store, if you get my drift. A nice excuse to use. If anyone asks, that's all you need to tell them. Perhaps, by suprise, the missus just happens to be the same size as you. As I've said in the past, if you're heading for the changing room then it might be a good idea to mask the clothes you really want to try on with some shirts or something.

Using the changing rooms can be a bit daunting and it's something I'm still getting used to. If it's a unisex changing room though, you may get lucky and find that someone has left something in one of the cubicles which has happened to me a couple of times. Funnily enough, last Saturday was the most recent. I was trying on some jeans and found someone had left a nice top in there. Black with a flowered blouse below cut right up the back like a surgery gown. Quite popular in the summer a couple of years ago, I remember. Just my size too (a bit bigger actually). Didn't buy it, felt a bit funny with the split in the back, but nice to try on and see what it looked like.

Thursday, 2 February 2017


I'm beginning to wonder if I've been using dressing as a bit of a crutch recently. I've had a really bad couple of weeks at work and I've been finding that I've been wanting to dress more and more when I get home. Perhaps it's my way of escaping into a bit of a fantasy even though it's not really a fantasy by this point.

Just last week, I wore a wonderful dress to my own birthday drink. I had been looking forward to it for ages. I also bought another nice dress at the weekend.

It could be a sign that I'm getting more confident and that I'm progressing more and more. Not sure where it will lead but I'm looking forward to it. Summer is certainly going to be interesting. Perhaps I'm trying to claw back something of myself from the day.

Rather random thoughts, I know.

Sunday, 15 January 2017

January Update

Well, it's a been a while since my last update. Nothing major has really happened but it's been an interesting few weeks.

Christmas was the usual family affair, always very enjoyable and relaxing few days. During the break between Christmas and the New Year I went out a couple of times for drinks with friends and even 'dressed' for it. One day I spent a sizable chunk actually getting ready. Bought a new pair of boots. Really nice black with a buckle on the side. The sort you see girls wearing that makes it look like they're just one size too big and look really nice when coupled with a dress and tights. I painted my nails again and although I still enjoy the look, it's getting to be a bit frustrating when it keeps coming off even with a coat of non-chip. Still, everything went fine with no major incidents and I got some nice compliments.

Now, New Year was meant to be a full circle for me as I was due to wear my lovely black dress to my friends' party. I was going to get new shoes and maybe try a bit more make-up proving to myself how far I had come in a year and achieved an ambition I never even knew I had. Alas, though the party was called off due to illness and troublesome facilities so it was a night in with a Marvel movie, various firework displays and Robbie Williams singing for some reason.

I've bought a couple of nice necklaces now as well and ran into a little bit of trouble while looking at belts in a second hand store when one of the assistants informed me that I was looking in womens' section and directed me to the mens'. Now, I could have made a fuss and indeed I've been mentally preparing for this sort of thing but to be honest I didn't see the worth in it and mumbled over to the mens section. She was a nice old lady only trying to help and of the many fights I could potentially face, this is not the hill I want to die on.

I've returned to work which is getting busier and more stressful by the day as I'm struggling to catch up. Last week though I saw my girlfriend and admitted my crossdressing to her and had a nice response. She's a little apprehensive although she admits it's because she really hasn't much experience of it and I'm wondering what the first time she sees me 'dressed' (probably in a few weeks) will be like. She's only the second person I think I've actually told; everyone else got the visual first. She sent me some nice texts the next day too. So that's basically where I am at the moment

Monday, 26 December 2016

The Role Exchanger: Office Christmas Party- Part Three

Disclaimer: The Role Exchanger concept is the property of Morpheus and the original stories can be found at Fictionmania. The below is my own work.


Zoe Smith slumped into one of the sofas and sighed. She opened her bag, small and emblazoned with a skull, and brought out a small bottle of vodka. A triumph over the lazy shop owner who didn’t bother checking her age. She poured some of it in the orange juice she had been given and took a gulp. Slipping the cap back on, Zoe shoved the bag under her seat and looked at her watch. How much longer would she be forced to stay here when she could be at home writing or listening to music? Only one thing could make it worse and Zoe saw her parading through the door. Little Miss Perfect, Stacey Ambroise stomping in on her high heels attracting looks and smiling back sweetly like a Barbie doll. Both Zoe and Stacey were 17 years old and at the office on work experience. Her parents wanted her to attend to make ‘connections’ and perhaps she would get out of the ‘goth phase’. She snorted as Stacey stomped over wearing a blue dress with a bow around the middle and a large handbag on her arm. “Your parents made you come too, Wendy Addams?” she sneered, taking a seat next to Zoe. “That’s Wednesday Addams and that’s not even my name anyway and yes they are,” she replied. They both attended the same school and rarely spoke to each other and would have stayed that way had they not been sent here together. “How long should we stay? I have parties to go to,” Stacey asked, setting her bag down on the table. “If we wait until the first person goes and then leave about ten minutes later. Should work. Someone should be leaving soon babysitters and all that.” They both looked up as a blue light passed and Stacey remarked that she wouldn’t look as good in the harsh lighting.

Suddenly Zoe’s eyes were drawn to a tattoo on Stacey’s perfectly tanned arm; a circle of thorns looping around. “Hey, we have the same tat, I actually have some respect for you,” she smiled. “What! What! No! No! How can that be there eeeew,” screamed Stacey, her face contorted into fear and viewing her new ink as if it were a spider crawling up her arm. “You mean you have this too?” “Yeah, see,” Zoe rolled up her sleeve, putting her arm next to Stacey’s but nothing was there. “That’s weird? Where did it go?” Zoe examined her body as her tattoos faded and reappeared on Stacey’s body in the exact same places. “Oh wow, you now have all my tats!” she exclaimed. Stacey examined her body with the same look on her face as various tattoos sprung up from skulls to roses to pin-ups. “Check your knickers too,” Zoe smiled. Stacey shuffled into a corner, pulled up her skirt and took a peak. “Eeew! That’s disgusting! Why did you do that to yourself!” she turned and shouted at Zoe. “Not me, not now, you did it to yourself. I bet it looks at least a year old. Oh dear, what will mummy and daddy say!” she replied, laughing. “I’ll have to get some new ones now.” “I can jutht pay to get..what thith,” Stacey felt something in her mouth marring her speech. She stuck her tongue out to find a new piercing stuck in it. More piercings appeared in Stacey’s eyebrows, her lip and in her bellybutton just as they disappeared from Zoe’s face as the holes healed up. “Oh my piercings too! This is great! Now you’re Goth Barbie!”

Looking down at her newly pierced bellybutton with a black skull and crossbones, Stacey smiled a little. She was secretly pleased with the piercing and had always wanted to get her bellybutton pierced. She would have to change the piercing of course but even then it looked quite nice. Looking again at her hand, she noticed she was now wearing black nail polish but even her nails didn’t look as nice as normal, they were cut a little roughly. “Hey, laughing girl, what colour are your nails now?” she asked with a smile. The smile on Zoe’s face started to fade when she looked down to find that her nails were now baby blue and not only that but she now had an expensive looking French manicure, a far cry from her usual shortly clipped nails with her toes changed to match. “No, no, this can’t be right!” she said also noticing that her skin was a lot darker than it had been – and it was spreading throughout her body. Soon Zoe had an all over spray tan, just like the ones she used to make fun of Stacey ad her friends for having. By contrast, Stacey’s skin was looking paler, like she had barely been outside apart from her face, which now had a touch of white make-up on. Her perfect blonde hair was now a little less perfect. It wasn’t as styled and looked, messier and less cared for with red streaks in it. However Zoe’s brown hair was now perfectly styled and primped as if she been to a professional salon. Her red streaks had been removed and her hair had a sheen and fluffiness to it, perfectly matching Stacey’s when she had first walked in that night.

“I see we use the same salon. We should get a mani pedi together sometime,” Stacey grinned as Zoe panicked. Picking up her bag, she reached in and handed Zoe her compact. Examining her face, she was shocked to discover that her make-up was now – perfect. Ruby red lips, a light touch of blusher and some light eyeshadow just under her finely plucked eyebrows that were now drawn on. Glancing over at Stacey, she noticed that her Goth make-up had also now been transferred. Stacey now wore black eye shadow, lots of mascara and had dark red lipstick on. They both felt a final shimmer in the room and then calm. Zoe looked down to find herself dressed exactly like Stacey in her tightly fitting blue dress and heels. Stacey stood up a little unsteadily as she now sported a new pair of goth boots along with Zoe’s black dress with a corset wrapped around her waist and a pair of ripped fishnets covering her legs. “So Barbie, how’s Ken?” Stacey said snarkily. “No, no this is not right! I’m not you! I don’t want to be dressed like you! I’m so embarrassed!” cried Zoe, hitching Stacey’s bag onto her arm and storming off in the direction of the toilets, her heels clip clopping noisily all the way.

“ Huh, bitch took my bag,” sighed Stacey, slumping back into her chair and noticing Zoe’s bag underneath the chair opposite. She pulled the skull shaped bag out and started to rummage through it, thinking it much cooler than her old one. She picked out a small mirror, chipped at the edges, and examined her new look. The more she thought about it, the more badass she looked. Mum and dad would freak out and so would most of the kids at school. Good, she thought, feeling happy that she would freak people out. She was tired of living up to what everyone else wanted her to be; going to boring parties with boring narcissistic people. Ooh naughty Zoe, she thought, taking the vodka bottle out of the bag and pouring some in her cup. Time for some fun.

Zoe walked into the toilets and looked at herself in the mirror. For some reason a large cock and balls were drawn in lipstick across the main mirror. Rumour was that Sophie did it but that couldn’t be right, still it was that sort of evening. Zoe thought that she now looked like those vain airheads she hated although…she had never seen herself looking more beautiful. Her skin looked healthy, hair was styled in a new way, which she loved, and her make-up perfectly highlighted the best areas of her face and brought them out. Opening the bag, she took out Stacey’s smaller cosmetics bag and started to freshen up her face. Some of the girls said she looked really beautiful and asked her if the goth thing was just an act and if she could smarten up for the office more often and the thought entered her head that maybe she would. Perhaps she could buy some new clothes, brighter colours maybe and carry more make-up with her so she could touch it up more often and be more presentable. Stacey’s phone bleeped with a text message showing the address of another party. Maybe she should go and freak everyone out. Really show all those airheads what she could look like. Yes, perhaps leave here just after she finished touching up her mascara.

Steve, now calling himself Steph, wandered into the toilets and did a double take as she saw the new Zoe pass by. Wasn’t that the grumpy intern who broke her coffee mug last week? She sighed, it was madness out there and she wanted a bit of peace, Looking at her new self in the mirror she mused that this was going to take some getting used to. She glanced over at the cubicles behind her with apprehension and a full bladder. Did it all still work the same ‘down there’? Of course, there were some obvious changes but hopefully since she was a newborn woman, so to speak, she would have at least a month to get used to her new body until it became time for her period. Just then, Steph heard a shriek come from the cubicles and a woman emerged sheepishly, cheeks redder than a field full of roses, with a large bulge protruding from under her tight black skirt. Steph knew that the other side of that wall, in the men’s toilets, one man had just had a new vagina emerge. Perhaps she better go and lend an understanding ear to them both. Looking out of a half open window, she caught sight of what she thought was a shooting star, streaking blue across the sky, but it was really the Role Exchanger searching for its next destination.

The End 

Sunday, 25 December 2016

The Role Exchanger: Office Christmas Party - Part Two

Disclaimer: The Role Exchanger concept is the property of Morpheus and the original stories can be found at Fictionmania. The below is my own work.


As Tim picked up his plate, hoping to eat something to take the taste away, he was treated to the sight of Kim Leighton with a chicken leg hanging out of her mouth piling up her plate. This was odd because he knew Kim was an aspiring model and he couldn’t ever recall seeing her even eat before. Stranger still, Kurt Willis was nibbling on a small stick of celery. A large 45 year old man and the head of the IT department, he was usually the first in line for the food, shovelling it all down, but here he seemed quite content. Perhaps his wife had him on a new diet. In reality, Kurt had suddenly become disgusted at the amount of food he had eaten and at his figure in general. He needed to get slim and fast. Kim, on the other hand, couldn’t help but throw her eating habits in the bin. She suddenly became very hungry and suddenly her figure wasn’t that important to her. She just wanted to eat, to sample everything on the table. If she didn’t try it all now then someone would get there before her and she couldn’t allow that to happen. Just think of all the great food she was missing out on.

Tim managed to wrestle some food away from her and found a quiet place in the corner. He wasn’t sure where Natalie had gotten to but she was welcome to his cigarettes. He looked up and saw Sophie Bellingham stroll by, her hair tied back in a harsh ponytail, immaculate make-up and a Chinese style red and gold dress carrying a black clutch. “Evening,” he smiled at her. She barely looked up except to acknowledge him with a stony “Tim.” Sophie was the ice queen of the office and no one really wanted to get in her way. She was probably here under protest and at Herbert’s insistence. After an hour or so of fake smiling she’ll probably slink off to a better party elsewhere. Walking into her office to check that everything was locked tight, lest these drunken animals lay waste to it, she passed Frank Watson who had a few drinks already. He was probably planning some kind of awful joke or prank or embarrass himself as usual. Last year, he drew a penis on the boss’s door and led a conga into the car park while wearing a ring binder on his head and with one clamped to the zip of his trousers. Sophie sighed as she passed him but was still wondering what he was about to do. So was he.

Frank was poised by the photocopier about the remove his trousers and make some copies of his arse but he was having second thoughts. It seemed like a good idea when he came in, hilarious in fact, but now it didn’t. It seemed hideous, moronic and embarrassing and he could see that now. He also felt quite sober despite the fact of having at least three pints before he arrived. Instead of lifting the lid of the copier, he straightened up his suit and his tie and headed to the toilets to check his appearance. Suddenly he didn’t feel like he wanted to be here after all, there were probably better things he could be doing like catching up on his work at home before the Christmas break. Perhaps he could just do a quick walk around to be friendly before heading out. “Huh, wuss,” snorted Sophie, knocking back another free glass of wine as she watched him walk away. Usually she didn’t drink but found that she needed to and it felt like she had been drinking heavily the whole evening anyway. Taking out her hairband, her hair cascaded down her shoulders and she stumbled over to the copier. Wouldn’t it be hilarious to photocopy her arse? Frank clearly wussed out of it but she was up for anything and immediately pulled down her knickers (the ones rumour has it were locked onto her body with a steel padlock and combination lock), hitched up her dress, tight as it was, lifted the copier lid and planted her pert, round bum right on the glass. Gleefully, she hit the copy button ordering at least 50 copies to start off with. After that she would copy her breasts. That would be so hilarious! She could also put them up all around the office and hide them in lots of important files and books so that months from now people would be going about their work and find her arse cheeks starring back at them. So funny! Screw Kate’s stuffy dinner party over in Leversham, she wanted to stay here and enjoy herself.

Two different groups were sharing the soft seating area in the main reception area and the Role Exchanger was always attracted by that and couldn’t resist checking it out. The IT guys were engaged in one of their regular discussions on the merits of various horror films while some of the admin girls were having a catch up on the office gossip which bled into the latest celebrity and talent show news. Normally such things bored Gareth to death but today, while overhearing some of their chatter he started to find it really interesting and began wishing he had watched some of these shows rather horror and sci-fi films night after night. Wasn’t that kind of dorky? Surely the other guys wouldn’t miss me, he thought as he drifted away from their ratings of the Friday The 13th series. Quietly, he shifted over to the girls’ side and asked about the result of The X Factor.

The girls welcomed him in all except Stacey who was glad of the break in conversation as she too had been bored. A tall blonde in a tight, grey dress, she usually had all the latest celebrity news lined up on her phone from various apps ready to discuss it. She got up and was about to get herself another drink when she overheard the guys talking about a brutal killing from Saw III – and it sounded so cool! Stacey immediately sat down and asked to join the conversation despite never seeing a full horror film in her life. The guys were a little wary since Stacey had rarely spoken to any of them but she seemed really enthusiastic and they were soon recommending her tons of movies to watch. Gareth received his share of nominations for new TV shows, gossip mags pressed into his hand and a promise to join their Strictly Come Dancing discussion group. As the night continued Gareth and Stacey wouldn’t be the only ones to switch groups.