Sunday, 25 December 2016

The Role Exchanger: Office Christmas Party - Part Two

Disclaimer: The Role Exchanger concept is the property of Morpheus and the original stories can be found at Fictionmania. The below is my own work.

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As Tim picked up his plate, hoping to eat something to take the taste away, he was treated to the sight of Kim Leighton with a chicken leg hanging out of her mouth piling up her plate. This was odd because he knew Kim was an aspiring model and he couldn’t ever recall seeing her even eat before. Stranger still, Kurt Willis was nibbling on a small stick of celery. A large 45 year old man and the head of the IT department, he was usually the first in line for the food, shovelling it all down, but here he seemed quite content. Perhaps his wife had him on a new diet. In reality, Kurt had suddenly become disgusted at the amount of food he had eaten and at his figure in general. He needed to get slim and fast. Kim, on the other hand, couldn’t help but throw her eating habits in the bin. She suddenly became very hungry and suddenly her figure wasn’t that important to her. She just wanted to eat, to sample everything on the table. If she didn’t try it all now then someone would get there before her and she couldn’t allow that to happen. Just think of all the great food she was missing out on.

Tim managed to wrestle some food away from her and found a quiet place in the corner. He wasn’t sure where Natalie had gotten to but she was welcome to his cigarettes. He looked up and saw Sophie Bellingham stroll by, her hair tied back in a harsh ponytail, immaculate make-up and a Chinese style red and gold dress carrying a black clutch. “Evening,” he smiled at her. She barely looked up except to acknowledge him with a stony “Tim.” Sophie was the ice queen of the office and no one really wanted to get in her way. She was probably here under protest and at Herbert’s insistence. After an hour or so of fake smiling she’ll probably slink off to a better party elsewhere. Walking into her office to check that everything was locked tight, lest these drunken animals lay waste to it, she passed Frank Watson who had a few drinks already. He was probably planning some kind of awful joke or prank or embarrass himself as usual. Last year, he drew a penis on the boss’s door and led a conga into the car park while wearing a ring binder on his head and with one clamped to the zip of his trousers. Sophie sighed as she passed him but was still wondering what he was about to do. So was he.

Frank was poised by the photocopier about the remove his trousers and make some copies of his arse but he was having second thoughts. It seemed like a good idea when he came in, hilarious in fact, but now it didn’t. It seemed hideous, moronic and embarrassing and he could see that now. He also felt quite sober despite the fact of having at least three pints before he arrived. Instead of lifting the lid of the copier, he straightened up his suit and his tie and headed to the toilets to check his appearance. Suddenly he didn’t feel like he wanted to be here after all, there were probably better things he could be doing like catching up on his work at home before the Christmas break. Perhaps he could just do a quick walk around to be friendly before heading out. “Huh, wuss,” snorted Sophie, knocking back another free glass of wine as she watched him walk away. Usually she didn’t drink but found that she needed to and it felt like she had been drinking heavily the whole evening anyway. Taking out her hairband, her hair cascaded down her shoulders and she stumbled over to the copier. Wouldn’t it be hilarious to photocopy her arse? Frank clearly wussed out of it but she was up for anything and immediately pulled down her knickers (the ones rumour has it were locked onto her body with a steel padlock and combination lock), hitched up her dress, tight as it was, lifted the copier lid and planted her pert, round bum right on the glass. Gleefully, she hit the copy button ordering at least 50 copies to start off with. After that she would copy her breasts. That would be so hilarious! She could also put them up all around the office and hide them in lots of important files and books so that months from now people would be going about their work and find her arse cheeks starring back at them. So funny! Screw Kate’s stuffy dinner party over in Leversham, she wanted to stay here and enjoy herself.

Two different groups were sharing the soft seating area in the main reception area and the Role Exchanger was always attracted by that and couldn’t resist checking it out. The IT guys were engaged in one of their regular discussions on the merits of various horror films while some of the admin girls were having a catch up on the office gossip which bled into the latest celebrity and talent show news. Normally such things bored Gareth to death but today, while overhearing some of their chatter he started to find it really interesting and began wishing he had watched some of these shows rather horror and sci-fi films night after night. Wasn’t that kind of dorky? Surely the other guys wouldn’t miss me, he thought as he drifted away from their ratings of the Friday The 13th series. Quietly, he shifted over to the girls’ side and asked about the result of The X Factor.


The girls welcomed him in all except Stacey who was glad of the break in conversation as she too had been bored. A tall blonde in a tight, grey dress, she usually had all the latest celebrity news lined up on her phone from various apps ready to discuss it. She got up and was about to get herself another drink when she overheard the guys talking about a brutal killing from Saw III – and it sounded so cool! Stacey immediately sat down and asked to join the conversation despite never seeing a full horror film in her life. The guys were a little wary since Stacey had rarely spoken to any of them but she seemed really enthusiastic and they were soon recommending her tons of movies to watch. Gareth received his share of nominations for new TV shows, gossip mags pressed into his hand and a promise to join their Strictly Come Dancing discussion group. As the night continued Gareth and Stacey wouldn’t be the only ones to switch groups. 

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