Happy New Year everyone and thanks to all who have continued reading my blog this year.
One of my regrets over this year is that I haven't kept up with this blog as much as I would have liked to. Of course a blog is written to reflect what is going on and what is influencing a person at that moment whereas I would have something to write about and just put it on the backburner for later. 'Later' sometimes never comes, the moment just passes and it doesn't seem like news anymore. For example, last year I was briefly interested in mother/son role switches but I now can't recall the title of the story that got me into it.
As far as crossdressing goes, I crossplayed as Amy Pond again and did a vampire cheerleader as well. I've continued wearing skirts and tights around the house at times and I wish I had more clothes and a wider selection. I doubt I will ever get much beyond this perhaps due to a combination of the times and my own fears and in a way I'm fine with that.
Of course the biggest thing to happen to me this year is that I now have a girlfriend.
So, let's see what this 2014 brings.
Wednesday, 1 January 2014
Saturday, 28 December 2013
Bill's New Frock
In the way that memory often does, I suddenly began thinking about something that I hadn't thought about for years over Christmas. I found a book, quite by chance, in a box that my mum had acquired from somewhere. Bill's New Frock by Anne Fine is the story of Bill Simpson who wakes up one day as a girl and is forced to school in a pretty pink frock. He then experiences the day from a female perspective. The book was first published in 1989 and is heralded as children's classic and a fine comment on gender issues.
So how did I come into contact with it? Well I was sitting at home one morning, ill from school or college I think, turned on the TV and there was a drama playing on the channel. A scruffy looking boy was wearing a pretty pink frock and being treated just like a girl. This was portrayed in the Quantum Leap way where we see the male actor in drag as opposed to an actress pretending to be a boy. The pink frock seemed to be the only article of clothing in his wardrobe that day and I recall scenes where he's told he's not allowed to paint pictures of war and when he kicks a ball through someone's window the boys get the blame. I can't recall how old I was at the time but looking it up on the net, the film was made in 1998 so I would have been at least in my late teens and in college.
Shortly after that I remember searching the local library database for the book and finding it in another town. I went there specifically to read it and learn more about the story. Bill's New Frock was something that chimed with me at the time and gave me a taste for the type of stories I would come to seek out in years to come while coming to terms with my own feelings and gender issues. At least it's good to know that something like this is out there for kids to read and for some to feel that they are not alone as they battle their own gender issues.
So how did I come into contact with it? Well I was sitting at home one morning, ill from school or college I think, turned on the TV and there was a drama playing on the channel. A scruffy looking boy was wearing a pretty pink frock and being treated just like a girl. This was portrayed in the Quantum Leap way where we see the male actor in drag as opposed to an actress pretending to be a boy. The pink frock seemed to be the only article of clothing in his wardrobe that day and I recall scenes where he's told he's not allowed to paint pictures of war and when he kicks a ball through someone's window the boys get the blame. I can't recall how old I was at the time but looking it up on the net, the film was made in 1998 so I would have been at least in my late teens and in college.
Shortly after that I remember searching the local library database for the book and finding it in another town. I went there specifically to read it and learn more about the story. Bill's New Frock was something that chimed with me at the time and gave me a taste for the type of stories I would come to seek out in years to come while coming to terms with my own feelings and gender issues. At least it's good to know that something like this is out there for kids to read and for some to feel that they are not alone as they battle their own gender issues.
Monday, 23 December 2013
My Week #7
It's been a stressful week, truth be told and I'll be glad come Christmas Eve when I'm off work.
Most of the people in my office have gone on holiday at the moment leaving me to do a lot of extra stuff like answer phones. I'm a secretary and I don't even get to wear a cute skirt or heels, heehee. This is really frustrating as I can't even get the work done I'm meant to be doing because I keep getting interrupted.
Anyway, I always look forward to Christmas and some time off plus I've been rewatching the entire Matt Smith era of Doctor Who in preparation for the Christmas special.
Sorry this isn't a happier post but Happy Christmas everyone :)
Most of the people in my office have gone on holiday at the moment leaving me to do a lot of extra stuff like answer phones. I'm a secretary and I don't even get to wear a cute skirt or heels, heehee. This is really frustrating as I can't even get the work done I'm meant to be doing because I keep getting interrupted.
Anyway, I always look forward to Christmas and some time off plus I've been rewatching the entire Matt Smith era of Doctor Who in preparation for the Christmas special.
Sorry this isn't a happier post but Happy Christmas everyone :)
Tuesday, 3 December 2013
Sunglasses
There's a girl who works in my office, always well dressed and for some reason comes in wearing big designer sunglasses. That's another look I love: black dress, tights, heels, sunglasses and a big handbag hanging from your arm. Perhaps too neat and well presented than I would be but that whole fashionista ice queen look is so hawt.
I used to have a pair of mirrored sunglasses when I was younger for the only reason anyone does. Cos Top Gun, that's why. Now I have a pair which kind of makes me look like Doctor Octopus.
Anyway, I say this because she left them in the office today when she went home. I was so tempted to try them on and I probably would have done if there hadn't been someone else in the office. I would probably have been so nervous and would make sure I put them back in the exact position I found them in. I like to think I would have given them a quick try though.
Edit: Just noticed that this is my 69th blog post. 69 *snigger*
Edit 2: 04/12/2012: I was in early this morning so I was again tempted to try them on but I left it, knowing that anyone could walk in the door that moment.
I used to have a pair of mirrored sunglasses when I was younger for the only reason anyone does. Cos Top Gun, that's why. Now I have a pair which kind of makes me look like Doctor Octopus.
Anyway, I say this because she left them in the office today when she went home. I was so tempted to try them on and I probably would have done if there hadn't been someone else in the office. I would probably have been so nervous and would make sure I put them back in the exact position I found them in. I like to think I would have given them a quick try though.
Edit: Just noticed that this is my 69th blog post. 69 *snigger*
Edit 2: 04/12/2012: I was in early this morning so I was again tempted to try them on but I left it, knowing that anyone could walk in the door that moment.
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| Sunny Days |
Monday, 2 December 2013
25 Caps of Christmas 2013
I've started up this little capping advent calender again this year so if anyone reading is on Rachel's Haven and wants to contribute then please sign up. I'm sorry to say it looks a bit bare this year so I'm wondering whether this will be my last year of doing it.
25 Caps of Christmas 2013
Anyway, on a happier note, just like last year I'm going to give you all a taste of it by reposting my first caption here. So please welcome special guest star Lea Michelle from Glee!
Hope y'all like :)
25 Caps of Christmas 2013
Anyway, on a happier note, just like last year I'm going to give you all a taste of it by reposting my first caption here. So please welcome special guest star Lea Michelle from Glee!
Hope y'all like :)
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| Elf (2013) |
Saturday, 30 November 2013
American Apparel
One of the small joys I have recently is receiving emails from American Apparel.
I bought my Amy Pond hoodie from them a few months back and since then I get emails suggesting lots of female clothing I may like to purchase. I haven't done so as yet but it's very tempting. I saw a sheer blouse yesterday, really nice. Perhaps tucked into a leather look pleated mini skirt, pastel coloured tights and some smart shoes or maybe Chucks to mix it up. Such a great and very cute look.
I bought my Amy Pond hoodie from them a few months back and since then I get emails suggesting lots of female clothing I may like to purchase. I haven't done so as yet but it's very tempting. I saw a sheer blouse yesterday, really nice. Perhaps tucked into a leather look pleated mini skirt, pastel coloured tights and some smart shoes or maybe Chucks to mix it up. Such a great and very cute look.
Tuesday, 26 November 2013
A Trip to France
When I was 14 I went with my school on a trip to the south of France for a week. I remember we also travelled with another school from the north of England and I remember how odd their accents sounded. Sure I was used to northern accents from the TV but up close it was rather startling. Just one of many things about growing up I guess. I did end up making friends though. Ok, so that little anecdote has no real bearing on this but it was just something I remember along with sharing a tent. One of the girls came in and gave us all a kiss. She hesitated when she got to me but at least it was something.
Anyway, the reason why I'm writing this up is a theme night the company put on for us to do. I can't remember any other activities but a talent show on the last day. This was a gender swap contest. "All the males dress up as females and all the females dress up as males," as one of the hosts told me and it's a phrase that still sticks with me to this day. Now my immediate reaction was one of fear, fear that I will be embarrassed and forced to do something I didn't want to but I had to admit it intrigued me. Most of the guys were game for it and the girls lent them clothes. I was more on the outside of the group anyway. I took some pictures but decided not to dress myself because it was optional although a pair of flowery leggings did come into my possession. I can't recall how; whether another guy had them left over, if they were just in our tent or what but I decided to join in and put them on. I think I changed my mind earlier in the day but was afraid to ask one of the girls to help me.
I felt a bit ridiculous that night in my t-shirt and flowery leggings. The show itself saw the rest of the school put on various poses for contests like 'cutest wiggle' and I really enjoyed it. The leggings were never claimed back though and remained on the washing line for the rest of our trip. Looking back I wished I had conquered my fears and taken part but I was a different person back then and its only by confronting these feelings later on in life that I feel I'm beginning to understand it better. Perhaps one underlying reason for my nervousness was that deep down I knew how it may have made me feel, the rest of the guys wouldn't feel anything at all. It was just girls clothes, a bit of a laugh, but for me something more although I either didn't realise it or want to admit it at the time.
Anyway, the reason why I'm writing this up is a theme night the company put on for us to do. I can't remember any other activities but a talent show on the last day. This was a gender swap contest. "All the males dress up as females and all the females dress up as males," as one of the hosts told me and it's a phrase that still sticks with me to this day. Now my immediate reaction was one of fear, fear that I will be embarrassed and forced to do something I didn't want to but I had to admit it intrigued me. Most of the guys were game for it and the girls lent them clothes. I was more on the outside of the group anyway. I took some pictures but decided not to dress myself because it was optional although a pair of flowery leggings did come into my possession. I can't recall how; whether another guy had them left over, if they were just in our tent or what but I decided to join in and put them on. I think I changed my mind earlier in the day but was afraid to ask one of the girls to help me.
I felt a bit ridiculous that night in my t-shirt and flowery leggings. The show itself saw the rest of the school put on various poses for contests like 'cutest wiggle' and I really enjoyed it. The leggings were never claimed back though and remained on the washing line for the rest of our trip. Looking back I wished I had conquered my fears and taken part but I was a different person back then and its only by confronting these feelings later on in life that I feel I'm beginning to understand it better. Perhaps one underlying reason for my nervousness was that deep down I knew how it may have made me feel, the rest of the guys wouldn't feel anything at all. It was just girls clothes, a bit of a laugh, but for me something more although I either didn't realise it or want to admit it at the time.
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