Christmas Captions #1

 Every year I have been running an advent caption calendar on Rachel's Haven which many people have contributed to over the years so I thought I would throw this year's captions in here and one from last year I liked. 

Girl on a Pearl (2023)

This one is from last year and is based on the whole 'Elf on a Shelf' thing. Not something I'm overly familiar with as it wasn't around while I was growing up. A simple idea given an Ember twist. I usually bring her back at least once a year at Christmas as she's so much fun to write for. Re-reading this I think it's the dialogue that tickled me the most. It does feel a but cringy sometimes to laugh at my own jokes but then if I don't, no-one else will. I'm especially proud of the petulant final line. The lament of many a TG caption protagonist. 

A Christmas Like Hers (2024)

This one is another Ember one and it went through a number of changes. In other versions it was more of a twinning one and they were still together but it ended up more as a jealous ex one. The 'Winter Wonderland' line was one I took from another idea with another picture I never used in the end and I'm quite pleased with the 'baby kick' line as well. People getting understandably angry with Ember is always fun. 

Stand-In Stacy (2024)

Ok here's the last one and I'm stupidly pleased with it. When I saw the photo it immediately said 'vlogger'. Here is someone giving an instructional video. The little antlers as well were an easy item you could attach to a willing victim. It's almost like a Twilight Zone twist in the tale at the end. Cute outfit too.

Pink Library #13: Twin Bullies

 As we are getting closer to Christmas, here's a very festive story about a boy who will stop at nothing to give a friend the best damn Christmas he ever had. Nothing wrong with that of course but when I say friend I mean the nerdy boy he bullies and that perfect Christmas present being turning himself into his own twin sister so that he can offer a very happy ending...I mean Christmas. 

Twin Bullies by Fibaro

This is a lovely little Christmas tale of a bully compelled to feminise himself in order to give his victim a good Christmas no matter what the expense and what's more he knows exactly what to do, what he wants and is willing to spend all his money making it true. The feminisation scenes and descriptions of his new outfits are very well done too. 

Check-Up #33

 Yes it's the end of the month so it must be me posting again trying to keep this blog somewhat productive. As ever there's a lot of things I mean to do and write about but time and energy seem to pass me by. It doesn't help that work is even worse than ever now. 

As ever I've been out dressed a few times as I've been going to some events recently. I even get the odd compliment which is always nice although sometimes the brain does tend to overthink things and I wonder if people are just being kind but then they don't have to say anything at all and at least it's better than the alternative which is all too common these days. I went to a party a few months ago and afterwards in a pub, while standing at the bar in a glittery jumper, trainers and blue maxi-skirt I was asked if I had been to see Taylor Swift. I'm not sure why, maybe it's all the glitter. Recently I went to another party in a pub (purple dress, purple tights and black cardi. The host really likes purple and it was her birthday) and while standing outside chatting to friends I had a lady come up to me to say I looked great. Also I finally plucked up the courage to wear my pink fluffy jacket which is lovely and warm. 

I'm a little more careful about buying new clothes these days but I think it's a natural progression as when you first start crossdressing there is a tendency to want all the things but that's tempered over time. I still feel a little happier when I buy new clothes though and look forward to the opportunities I have to wear them (even in this weather). Today I bought a nice dark red skirt (just below the knee) and some blue trousers. Yes, trousers. However these are the same colour as the 13th Doctor's trousers (petrol blue, in case you were wondering) so I am thinking of wearing them with my cosplay. I have got a skirt to go with that cosplay but there is a perfectionist in me who wants to get it as close to screen accurate as I could get. Might need new braces though but we'll see. Can't hurt to have a variation. 

There are lots of stories that I would love to recommend over the various sites I read and I do mean to do more blogs about them to share some of this great work. This month there is a wonderful story I have been reading this month over at The Changing Mirror and that is Blonde Ambition by tithug. This a F2F, hypnosis based slow bimbofication tale of a smart student turning into an airhead so if you like your bimbo tales then this is one I would certainly recommend. 

Finally, I've just started watching a new sitcom Smoggie Queens which is set around a LGBTQ+ friend group in Middlesborough. I'm tempted to write a bit about it now but may do later after I've seen the lot. I enjoyed the first episode and while the main character Dickie is a typical sitcom monster (especially to poor newbie Stewart) he is so himself that I have to admire him; tottering around in high heels and skimpy outfits while sporting a fine moustache. Hopefully the rest of the series won't disappoint. If you're in the UK and this very brief review has interested you, the whole series of 6 episodes is on the BBC iplayer. 

Publicity still from Smoggie Queens (BBC)

The Gender Mash

 As it's that time of year I thought I would put up something seasonal. It's been an ok month, I've had some time off and bought some new things. Also had a stressful office move today. 

Anyway, I was looking back at some of my older stuff, 10 years ago, and here is a take on one of the songs of the season - The Monster Mash. Original lyrics by Bobby Pickett with a TG twist by me. 

This was originally created for the Haven caption contest in September 2014 which had the theme 'Accident in the Lab'. 

The Gender Mash (2014)

The Maxi Skirt: A Love Story

 Well it looks like summer is over more or less and it's not normally a month I'm fond of because of body issues. It's nice to have bare legs but then there's always a worry about now matter how much you shave them, there's always going to be hair on your legs. It's taken me a while to embrace certain aspects of feminine clothing. When you're starting out it's like trying to find your own style all over again and a lot of trial and error is involved. I always liked wearing short skirts and tights but it took me a while to start wearing dresses and now I have way too many. I mean, I just bought another yesterday which is purple with some flowers on it. It fits lovely but is a little shorter than I would have liked. 

So anyway, this is the year I finally embraced the maxi skirt. I've worn them before and in particular I've always loved pleated maxi skirts but I've amassed quite a few now and this year during the heat I enjoyed wearing them and in particular a light purple one that has become a go-to item for me when I come home from work. At least it means I can still have bare legs and not worry about the odd hair that may crop up although it doesn't stop me shaving them when I go out. I've also worn a thin pink jacket on occasion when going out and it's really made me feel that my outfit is a more complete than it has been before, if that makes sense. 

This summer does seem to have been a time for maxi skirts as I've spotted quite a few out on the streets mainly a smooth, silky look in a metallic colour. Bows in the hair also seem to be more of a thing and it's something I wish I could try but I think my time for having long hair is probably passing unless I wanted to start wearing a wig. It looks so pretty though.  

Check-Up #32

Well I've had an eventful weekend. 

I thought the worse it would be get when I inadvertently freaked out a sales girl in a shop while looking at make-up. Ok so I think that may be an overly dramatic way of putting what was basically an awkward moment in a shop. I have been looking at make-up more but I think it's something you either need to have started early or have an interest in as it's a bit overwhelming how much choice there is. What I would like is for someone to help me a bit - which is exactly what someone did. I must have looked a bit lost but then a single man in the make-up section of a shop is probably a weird thing. She asked me if I wanted help...and I said no out of both surprise and nerves. I thought about that for the rest of the day. 

The rest of the day didn't exactly go according to plan either and I only mention it because I went to see a comedian and, like a lot of social engagements, it was an excuse for me to dress so I was excited about it and had been looking forward to it all week. It had been a very testing week at work as well. First off some train delays had set me a little off kilter and left me with little time to get something to eat. Ended up feeling a bit lonely sitting in a bar on my own and seeing everyone meet-up. I must also emphasise at this point that I loved how I looked. I had a red dress on and a lilac jacket with some bright pink nails. I felt really happy with it and a while ago I passed a point where it just all felt so natural to me. I had also spent a good hour or so shaving my body (of which there wasn't much on show in the end) and that coupled with painting my nails was a lot of prep work for little result. I suppose it was just my own standards. 

So anyway onto toilets, The show finished and it was very enjoyable. Now this is a very LGBTQ+ friendly area of London and they did have some gender neutral toilets which I decided to give a try. Given the choice I usually still choose the gents as I'm a little more comfortable in there now unless there's a single neutral cubicle. All went ok until I heard a woman outside surprised she saw a man, then discovered the toilets were neutral and basically gave a sigh or what sounded like an oral eye roll. Suddenly I got a bit nervous about leaving the cubicle as wearing a dress would probably make it worse. In case you were wondering, no, I'm not still there but I did pluck up the courage to leave after a few minutes and it thankfully passed without incident. 

And now to Sunday. So I've avoided talking to my parents about my dressing ever since I tried for the first time a few years ago. I asked my mum if she wouldn't mind repairing a dress for me and it led to a whole conversation about it which left me feeling a bit uncomfortable. The main thing was she asked me if I wish I had been born a girl. The only answer I had was 'sometimes'. It's something I've never figured out. I know it's harder for them to understand and I wish I had never started the conversation now. Perhaps my confidence in this isn't as strong as I thought. I have hope it will be ok in the end or at least reach a tolerable level. 

Check-Up #31

So I've not been having that good a time recently. My job is just getting worse and worse at the moment and I'm considering resigning. Not sure what I'll do otherwise but I hope I would find somewhere. I think I'm in a marginally better place than I was when I was last unemployed about a decade ago. 

Crossdressing does seem to be one thing I can enjoy though but summer can be hard especially with all this body hair needing attention. I have managed to feel a bit better about it this year though by wearing long dresses and maxi skirts. At least I don't feel quite as bad. Bought a lovely black pleated maxi skirt recently and it fits like a dream. I also have a cute Batman handbag which has the look of Michelle Pfeiffer's Catwoman outfit from Batman Returns coupled with a logo and cute bat ears on top. One thing I thought of after I wrote my last blog is how brave I can be sometimes. One event I went to recently took place in the top room of a pub which was crammed with football fans watching the Euros and I was quite please I managed to fight my way (not literally) to the room and back down again a couple of times for drinks all without incident. Even had a lovely compliment on my nails from the barmaid when I went back a few weeks later. 

I did go to a convention a couple of weeks ago. Not in cosplay again but I ended up wearing a skirt. Cosplay is one of those things I run hot and cold about these days. There's so much I want to do but I'm also hit by this feeling that I'm just not good enough when there are others that do it so much better. I think I also prefer being in a group than on my lonesome again. Summer can be a hard time especially with all the pretty dresses and summer outfits about and I still have to wear a suit most days. In fact I will be going on a trip with some of my work colleagues abroad and there is going to be a big party so of course everyone is talking about what they want to wear. This has generally put me in a bad mood as I wasn't particularly keen on going anyway but knowing that I'll just have to wear my usual suit in a different country is just depressing. On the upside I think it proves growth because it wouldn't have been an issue for me a decade ago. 

Make-up can be very intimidating although I did see a video last night which reduces it to the basics for MTF crossdressers which is nice. I did try some eyeshadow tonight, don't think it turned out that well. The whole discourse around trans people doesn't exactly help either with self confidence. 

I used to think a lot about suicide and to be honest I still do. When you're young you think of ending it all just to spite people and make them miss you because of whatever crisis is going on (or at least I did anyway, I know everyone has different circumstances) but when you get older and more people have passed away you realise that this is it. Nothing (unless you believe in an afterlife). Back in my old job i would occasionally need to climb up racking to get boxes and I used to wonder what would happen if I just dropped but then the survival instinct kicks in and I knew I didn't really want to die. It's hard going on sometimes. I've come to the conclusion now that I don't want to die. I think. 

Check-Up #30

So what have I been up to recently then? Not much really but life still continues and I'm still doing much the same as I always did.  

I've bought some new cosplay outfits most of which fit but there are a couple I've been trying to return for a couple of months which sadly don't so I'm hoping to either get a refund or a larger size. Always seems to be the Harley Quinn ones too which is a shame. I do have some more Doctor Who stuff too. Coincidentally the only convention I've been to recently I didn't feel like dressing for although I did earlier in the year. I also bought a new Hell Bunny dress and a couple of yellow summery ones as well as a lovely velvety green one with long sleeves and a pleated skirt. Part of the reason for this may or may not be a slight split that happened when I tried it on. I also bought a pink jacket earlier in the year (bonus content - one screwed up tissue and one pencil) which makes three pink jackets of various sizes but this time I've actually worn it. Usually I wear a normal overcoat when I go out dressed because more often than not it's cold and/or wet plus it also gives me the opportunity to hide my outfit. On one occasion though I wore this jacket and it made me stupidly happy to see myself in a complete femme outfit. 

One night a few weeks ago I was asked by a friend at a social evening how I decide what to wear when I come out. Now often these evenings are after work so I come in my usual office wear of shirt and trousers but every so often I do bring clothes to change into with me and when I do this, much like travelling with The Doctor, you have to factor in time and space. I've got changing time down quite well over the years and it's usually the place I have an issue with so most times I end up in a public toilet struggling to put tights on. There is a nice unisex toilet at work though which I can literally walk out of, round a corner and out into the street...which I never use. It's a big building so of course I'm not going to run into anyone from my office - apart from all the close shaves I've had over the years. So now it's normally a train station somewhere. For an easy life I could just decide not to do it but this sort of life is seldom easy and you need to work at it if you want to achieve any sense of feeling euphoria or even that it's worth doing. Sometimes I feel it's the only thing keeping me going. It's constantly on my mind and on some occasions feels like denying it hurts so much. I have noticed I become almost a different person when I do though. My body language changes too and I'm not afraid to leaning into femininity a bit more. 

So my more condensed answer to the question was that it depended on my mood that day and sometimes the event as I usually decide on the outfit and pack a bag the night before so I know what I'm doing. I still feel nervous about it but most times I tell myself that I'll feel worse if I don't do it.   

The Week in Crossdressing #7

 Ok so I thought I would just talk about a couple of things that happened on the TV this week.

Firstly, Inside No.9 returned for its 9th and final series with the episode Boo to a Goose. If you're unfamiliar with this show it's an anthology of half hour stories in the vein of The Twilight Zone but with a more horror comedy edge. Created, written by and starring Steve Pemberton (now smashing it on the current series of Taskmaster) and Reece Shearsmith, who were also part of The League of Gentlemen comedy troupe, all episodes take place in a 'Number 9' be it a house, flat, train carriage or even a pedalo boat. But not a bus, never a bus. 

This week's number 9 was a tube train carriage and saw things getting out of hand when the train stops and a purse is stolen leading to suspicion among the passengers and a final twist commenting on how we react to injustice. Pemberton and Shearsmith take on different parts each week in the drama and this time around Pemberton was playing a drag queen who went under the wonderful name of Wilma Dickshow. I won't go into full spoilers here but Wilma emerges as a fascinating character who you thought would be someone eager to challenge perceptions but is beaten down by the prejudices she has faced. It's indicated that these characters live in a more authoritarian future and it's interesting to see that being an out and proud queer man and drag queen isn't seen as being a problem in itself. It's also led me to think further about that world and wouldn't it be ideal to walk down the street looking how you like without fear of being set upon but is it worth it risking certain freedoms for? Then again perhaps this how such societies start. 

The publicity for this series showed the intriguing below image of Pemberton and Shearsmith in character waiting on a platform and although I liked the episode we got, the below image of this rather bland little man and a drag queen standing on a train platform together conjured up something quite different in my mind and is a story I would have liked to see.  

Reece Shearsmith and Steve Pemberton
in a BBC publicity photograph for Inside No 9

The second thing I wanted to mention is the annual Eurovision Song Contest which this year was won by Switzerland with the song The Code by non-binary singer Nemo. The song is about their path to discovering that they were neither male or female. I quite liked this on the night and I loved the costume Nemo wore on stage. I know it's probably wrong to label a non-binary performer as crossdressing but in this case it's more gender non-conforming so apologies if I have this wrong. 

Nemo performing at Eurovision 2024

April Fools

No joke, I swear. As it's April Fools Day (for another hour anyway) I thought I would put up another caption as, unlike Easter, I have done quite a few on the subject of practical jokes gone wrong. This was an often used theme of the Rachel's Haven caption contest and since this caption was made nearly a decade ago I thought I would give it another airing. The title is a bit clunky but I still quite like it as a concept so prepare yourself for a short tale of revenge, dinner and accidental gender reassignment. 

Dinner for Jokers (2014)

 

Check-Up #29

 Ok so once again I make it right to the dying embers of another month having posted nothing but still wanting to keep this blog going. I've meant to write a longer section about some of the TV programmes I've watched recently with some gender change themes but I guess I'm out of time for now. I would still like to leave you with something though so I looked around for an Easter themed caption but haven't been able to find one so maybe I ought to give that a shot in the future. 

Anyway, here's one that I did for Chelsea Baker over on Rachel's Haven with a very gossipy theme. Hope you like. 

The Kiss and Tell Queen (2021) 

Pink Library #12: Twinies

 I've grown to like twinning stories more and more through the years and it's surprising that I haven't really clocked that before as some of my earliest crossdressing fantasies involved the girls in my school turning me into their 'twin' or having to 'fill in' for them in class. I think it's the idea of becoming like someone else and having to take on their mannerisms.

This is a fun story that I came across recently involving twinning:

Twinies by Stargate52

This is a rather innocent tale, not really done out of malice and Amy just comes across as a normal, fun loving woman rather than a controlling bitch or bully looking for an apprentice and in fact Dan comes across rather snobby. The change seems to be a pre-break up kindness to him which I'm not sure of but it's a fun tale. I love the rather slow change mainly shown through his reactions as the two converse and I would have liked more description of his clothes changing but that's just me. 

A Note on Captioning

 I did want my first post of 2024 to be something slightly happier, maybe about some of the stories I've been reading over the past year but today was one of those days in which I sometimes regret taking up captioning at all.

Purely by chance I was checking out my Twitter and someone had liked an old caption of mine from about 6 months ago which was nice until I came across an old comment that I had somehow missed first time around calling me disgusting for what I had written and asking me to delete the tweet. This was mainly to do with the picture used which was of a 16th birthday party. I probably never gave it that much thought at the time but maybe the poster was right and I should have been more careful about the source material used especially regarding the sexual content.

I have heard arguments for using AI in captions now. It would certainly take the effort out of looking for that perfect picture to have fit the story in your head but then I also like stumbling across a photograph and having an idea on the spot. Maybe I'll see if I can give AI a go for a bit and although I say I want to stop captioning I probably won't but this has made me think twice about what I do and I will delete the tweets. I'll probably feel like shit for a few days too. I would still like to preserve the text so I'll add it here: 

1. Kelly was really looking forward to her birthday party but knew her dad would probably spoil it for her. He would tell her to cover up, keep her away from guys  and stop her fun. Why couldn't he see things from her point of view? Perhaps he could with the help of some Teen-X.

2. "OMG Kels this party is awesome. Thanks for inviting me and giving me this cute dress!"

"No probs dad, sorry Steph, I knew you would love it if you were a teen girl like me."

"I'm so glad I am, now I see all the hot guys here ready to fuck."

"Like daughter like daddy!"