I have been meaning to write something recently so here is a kind of omnibus edition of stuff.
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I haven't really had a good month at work and had a very bad week at the beginning of the month. Things are starting to even out now though but I'm in a profession in which there's so much negativity that I don't know if I can put up with it any more. Never mind the fact that I'm drowning in work. The boss seems happy though and I've begun to get a better attitude to it thanks to a friend of mine. I've started leaving earlier and that's been a boost.
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I'm beginning to think that when I split up with my girlfriend that it was a greater knock to me than I thought it was. I'm still expecting to look down and find a text from her and the issue of sex still worries me. It's like being a horny teenager again, I feel a desire to go out and find someone to have sex with just to prove that I can. It's an odd thing to say in a place like this but I don't feel like a man. I feel I've lost whatever masculinity I had. Of course I know that sex isn't the be all and end all but having never had much of it I really was looking forward to getting into it with a partner. It's like fixing something. If the TV breaks I must try to fix it straight away or whatever device is on the turn this week. I'm the same when I come back from holiday, I must unpack my stuff within a few hours to get things back to normal; to maintain the status quo (nothing to do with Rick Parfitt) and this is something I feel I need to fix for my own peace of mind. I had over a year with her and I still couldn't get it right but then I did get the feeling that I would have more time. I guess that's another thing I resent her for, throwing me back into dating and forcing myself to try and socialise and chat up women again. I was supposed to be rid of all that.
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The summer is upon us so I might go away for a holiday soon. Last year I realised that I wanted a bit more out of a holiday than seeing the inside of a convention centre. Not sure where to go though but it would be nice to get some sun. I'm also thinking of going to Cardiff, see some Doctor Who locations at some point this year.
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Finally: Tagging. When the Haven got a new tagging system I have to admit I didn't see much use for it but a lot of people have been using it so I've been trying it recently, going back and tagging my old captions. It's been quite a fun game for myself. While out walking I would recall a caption and try and think what tags I would need for it, what the story entails: TG change? Crossdressing? Brother to Sister? Boyfriend to BFF? Personality change? I hope to go through all my work but I've not long finished updating all my links after the Haven's data loss so this one may have to wait.
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