Well everyone, I finally bought some new clothes this week...ok so a replacement pair of blue tights for a pair I tore by accident. The colour is slightly off so I may still have to shop around but I'll keep them as I expect I'll find out what works with them. As they say over at Buzzfeed, the results will suprise you. One thing I'm proud of is my developing fashion sense and it's exciting to keep trying new things and new combinations of skirts, tights, tops etc. When everything finally clicks and you find an outfit you love then it feels so rewarding and you feel so good about it. I will write a lengthier piece about this at some point but I would just say it's something you learn over time so if you're in a quandry about starting to dress because you think you have little idea about women's fashion then don't worry as it will come in time and you will develop a style you like if you find it's something that you're into.
Speaking of tights I just wanted to mention Snag Tights. Some of my friends have highlighted how much they love these tights and how the company are struggling in this time of lockdown as are many others. Full disclosure: I've never tried the tights myself but I will be ordering some soon especially the Rasberry Pie pair and possibly the Beach Bum. They also seem to be using male models in a couple of shots too which is quite cool.
EDIT: Checking out the website they also specify that they are a fully inclusive brand and welcome people of all ages, sizes and genders which is pleasing to see.
https://snagtights.com/
One final thing I'll mention this week is a programme I was watching today. It was called My Life: I'm Not Just A Boy In A Dress and was a half hour programme shown on CBBC which I noticed as I was looking through the TV listings. Even at my age and despite working out some of my issues, my eyes are still drawn to any programmes to do with drag, crossdressing or explorations of gender identity as I still feel I may learn something about myself. The programme centered on a lad named Lewis who at 14 has his own drag personality, Athena, and put on a drag show in his town with some of his friends. Shows like this usually bring back a lot of feelings I had as a teenager and how much I wish I had that sense of identity at that age but then I also grew up in a very different time and perhaps like anyone else I had to go through the things I did to become the person I am. At least it gives me hope for future generations. Drag itself has certainly changed and become a lot more acceptable since I was a teen which I expect is mainly down to Ru Paul's Drag Race. As with anything though I expect I would still have been too awkward and shy to do anything about it at that age.
Thursday, 30 April 2020
Wednesday, 22 April 2020
Check-Up #4
So how is everyone doing?
Well, I'm a little up and down at the moment but my work at least breaks up my week and I'm getting a bit more free time which means I'm feeling less tired of a night so at least that's something. As I've said previously, I've started leaving my nails painted all week and this week my boss came into the office which was something I was only half expecting. My nails were all painted different colours, by the way. If she did notice something then she didn't say it. The same thing might happen again this week however now I have bright blue nails. I did initially hide them in gloves but now I just don't care.
These days I do wonder what would happen if I was 'caught' dressed. I'm not sure it would bother me too much as I'm so used to it as being a part of myself. It now feels so natural to be wearing skirts dresses and tights and in fact I think the only thing that would make me ashamed is other people's reaction and getting caught in that emotion. This also led me to wonder what if I was to get caught while on a video Zoom chat with people from work. I know there are quite a few people out there who love the humiliation part of it. Imagine getting caught on camera unexpectedly, dressed up to the nines clad in a wig and coated with make-up? What if you were then blackmailed? What would you do?
What about if you have to answer the door as well? Delivery drivers and various post people have seen me dressed over the past few years and have never really made comment on this. I expect, especially during this lockdown period, there are much stranger things out there than me. However I imagine that would feed the humiliation though, imagine being caught by many a caller. What would you say to them? Would you have something planned out or would that just make it better?
I do have a few more captions I may put up shortly. It seems those are often my most read posts on this blog especially the Role Exchanger ones so I may see if I can feature more on here.
Thursday, 16 April 2020
Check-Up #3
As various lockdowns continue across the world (ours in the UK has just been extended for another 3 weeks) the world of fashion has been discussing the issue of how you dress while working from home. Sweatpants and a comfy jumper everyday or dressing to the nines just because it makes you feel good. Apparently the only clothing people are buying these days is tops specifically for meetings on video conferencing apps.
Blogging about what you wear while working from home and how it has affected your style has become the latest topic of the day however it's one I have covered before and as I have said it's a great opportunity for the crossdresser to experiment more and even wear 'to work' what we've always wanted to. Lockdown hasn't really changed my style at all as I gave up sweatpants a few years ago apart from the occasions when I've been quite ill and want to wear something other than pyjamas. Personally I do like to get up and change clothes as it helps me get up rather than stay in pyjamas all day plus even if you're staying at home to work I feel I would at least dress smart enough to make me feel good rather than dressing as if I've just dragged myself out of bed. I'm still dressing for work and still rather enjoying it although I fear I may be running out of outfits soon. Work wear has always been an interesting one for me and I've often been tempted to buy things but stopped myself because they are too work-y and I would never wear them. Perhaps when this is over I might treat myself a little more as I expect I'll still find myself doing a few days working from home.
So what about after lockdown? Well it could go two ways- either comfy and more casual clothes will take over as people don't want to give up their comfort to travel in to work again or the opposite and they will relish the opportunity to dress up and strut down the streets once more. Back in an earlier time (well, January) I remember reading about the Roaring Twenties in which the Bright Young Things used the post-war world to dress up and have fun. Wearing make-up was also fashionable too. We may be about to enter another recession or another great depression once we come out of this but I think there will be a lot of celebration too as we suddenly start appreciating the smaller things in life like just being able to go out go to the pub or cinema or have the opportunity to browse a clothes store. I certainly miss my weekends looking around various second hand stores for clothes.
I'm still ok where I am and at least I feel a little more settled now after the constant changes to daily life in the last month or so. I'll leave you with another little story I found about men now choosing to wear the jerseys of female sports stars.
Monday, 13 April 2020
Terri Is Sick #5: Computer Virus
Well, a computer virus is a sort of virus right?
Ok so I found this one in my archive and thought I would add it to this little series. This caption features a character I've used quite a few times, Heather the Technohagen. She was in part inspired by Jenny Callendar from Buffy the Vampire Slayer who was a technohagen (basically a really techy witch) so I invented my own. Heather can do magic and use computers and tech to weave any spell she wants. As so many people are working from home now and of course IT people are in demand so I'm tempted to bring her back.
This caption was first created for Chelsea Baker over at Rachel's Haven.
Ok so I found this one in my archive and thought I would add it to this little series. This caption features a character I've used quite a few times, Heather the Technohagen. She was in part inspired by Jenny Callendar from Buffy the Vampire Slayer who was a technohagen (basically a really techy witch) so I invented my own. Heather can do magic and use computers and tech to weave any spell she wants. As so many people are working from home now and of course IT people are in demand so I'm tempted to bring her back.
This caption was first created for Chelsea Baker over at Rachel's Haven.
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| Virus (2017) |
Wednesday, 8 April 2020
Don't Worry, It's Not For Me
For me, self-isolation continues along with rounds of work and sleep but at least there's the Easter break coming which will be nice. I'm still having a lot of fun dressing for work though and I do wonder if I should use some of this time to watch a few make-up tutorials. I've also kept my nails painted all week which is a rarity for me.
Recently I was watching a TV show, Dressed To Impress I think it was called. Another in the vein of twentysomething dating programmes but this seemed to involve one person trying to impress a prospective date by buying them clothes. In fact this may become a trend as I recall a show a few years ago in which two people dress each other the way they would love a date to dress. It was quite interesting especially when you saw how they really dressed at the end.
Anyway, full disclosure I only ended up watching about ten minutes of it but it left me thinking especially wondering how good I might be buying clothes for a girl and exactly how much info they had to begin with but also because one of the guys kept saying "don't worry, it's not for me" whenever he approached the till with his chosen items. This phrase irritated me as well as remembering all the times I had approached a till with both clothes and excuses to hand as to why I'm buying them. Truth is, I've never had a shop assistant ask or look at me in an odd way and I've even had the odd, rare, compliment.
I have to wonder where this so-called worry originates and perhaps that it's a fear of homosexuality or at least being thought of as homosexual which of course strikes at the masculinity of many an insecure youth or perhaps may even be a throwback to the times when it was illegal. Homosexuality and drag have always gone hand in hand but many don't see them as operating seperately and that works both ways. Of course there's also Alfred Hitchcock's 1960 movie Psycho which portrayed the main villain as not only a knife weilding killer but a transvestite. The year earlier though we had Some Like It Hot in which two musicians go on the run in drag to escape the mob. I don't think we saw a portrayal of dressing as something to be celebrated until The Rocky Horror Picture Show in 1975 but even then Dr Frank N. Furter is hardly the sanest of people. Recently though and with the success of Ru Paul's Drag Race it has been lifted to an art form and has become something to celebrate. With more and more people declaring themselves gender fluid and with trans people becoming more visible, hopefully the 2020s will see us moving away from 'worrying' when a young man shows an interest in more feminine attire.
Recently I was watching a TV show, Dressed To Impress I think it was called. Another in the vein of twentysomething dating programmes but this seemed to involve one person trying to impress a prospective date by buying them clothes. In fact this may become a trend as I recall a show a few years ago in which two people dress each other the way they would love a date to dress. It was quite interesting especially when you saw how they really dressed at the end.
Anyway, full disclosure I only ended up watching about ten minutes of it but it left me thinking especially wondering how good I might be buying clothes for a girl and exactly how much info they had to begin with but also because one of the guys kept saying "don't worry, it's not for me" whenever he approached the till with his chosen items. This phrase irritated me as well as remembering all the times I had approached a till with both clothes and excuses to hand as to why I'm buying them. Truth is, I've never had a shop assistant ask or look at me in an odd way and I've even had the odd, rare, compliment.
I have to wonder where this so-called worry originates and perhaps that it's a fear of homosexuality or at least being thought of as homosexual which of course strikes at the masculinity of many an insecure youth or perhaps may even be a throwback to the times when it was illegal. Homosexuality and drag have always gone hand in hand but many don't see them as operating seperately and that works both ways. Of course there's also Alfred Hitchcock's 1960 movie Psycho which portrayed the main villain as not only a knife weilding killer but a transvestite. The year earlier though we had Some Like It Hot in which two musicians go on the run in drag to escape the mob. I don't think we saw a portrayal of dressing as something to be celebrated until The Rocky Horror Picture Show in 1975 but even then Dr Frank N. Furter is hardly the sanest of people. Recently though and with the success of Ru Paul's Drag Race it has been lifted to an art form and has become something to celebrate. With more and more people declaring themselves gender fluid and with trans people becoming more visible, hopefully the 2020s will see us moving away from 'worrying' when a young man shows an interest in more feminine attire.
Tuesday, 7 April 2020
Terri is Sick #4: Drug Trials
Of course, with any new virus there are drug trials to see if a new cure can be found and quick. This is a brand new caption created for Jay Seaver over at Rachel's Haven recently and even though it's unknown what changed the protagonist it's the idea of drug trials and the present global health crisis that inspired me.
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| Drug Trials (2020) |
Thursday, 2 April 2020
Check-Up #2.5
So I was thinking about my last post a bit today and it made me think of something a friend said to me a few years ago.
At times like this when a lot of people are cooped up, the news is rather bleak and even a simple walk outside or a trip to the shops can cause anxiety to sky rocket (as you know, normally I enjoy a shop but the present situation has ramped up my anxiety in the last few weeks) then dressing is probably the last thing on your mind. While I do it in some form most nights there are some times I just don't feel like it although at this time of year it's more to do with how damn cold it is. I remember I had just been to a party and the next day bemoaned that while most folks suffering with a hangover would doubtless be dressed in tracksuit bottoms and comfy jumpers, I appeared to be dressed like a preppie schoolgirl (white top, black cardie, grey skirt and black tights) when my friend told me that this was the most important time to do it when you don't feel like it. I've never forgotten that and its bucked me up when I've been feeling a bit down because times like these are when when need to bring the brightness and sparkles and girliness the most and there are a lot of times wearing a great outfit really cheers me up. So if you're in any doubt about whether this is the right time for you then please give it a try if you are able.
While I'm here I would also like to end off with a quote I've been meaning to put up for a while. I initially encountered it on Madonna's song What It Feels Like for a Girl (2000) but I now know that it came from the 1993 film The Cement Garden which was written and directed by Andrew Birkin and based on the 1978 novel of the same name by Ian McEwan. In the film the line is spoken by the character Julie played by Charlotte Gainsbourg. I'm afraid I don't know much else about it as I've neither read the book or seen the film but the quote has always stuck in my mind. I've taken the below from a lyric search on Google.
"Girls can wear jeans and cut their hair short
Wear shirts and boots 'cause it's okay to be a boy
But for a boy to look like a girl is degrading
'Cause you think that being a girl is degrading
But secretly you'd love to know what it's like wouldn't you
What it feels like for a girl"
At times like this when a lot of people are cooped up, the news is rather bleak and even a simple walk outside or a trip to the shops can cause anxiety to sky rocket (as you know, normally I enjoy a shop but the present situation has ramped up my anxiety in the last few weeks) then dressing is probably the last thing on your mind. While I do it in some form most nights there are some times I just don't feel like it although at this time of year it's more to do with how damn cold it is. I remember I had just been to a party and the next day bemoaned that while most folks suffering with a hangover would doubtless be dressed in tracksuit bottoms and comfy jumpers, I appeared to be dressed like a preppie schoolgirl (white top, black cardie, grey skirt and black tights) when my friend told me that this was the most important time to do it when you don't feel like it. I've never forgotten that and its bucked me up when I've been feeling a bit down because times like these are when when need to bring the brightness and sparkles and girliness the most and there are a lot of times wearing a great outfit really cheers me up. So if you're in any doubt about whether this is the right time for you then please give it a try if you are able.
While I'm here I would also like to end off with a quote I've been meaning to put up for a while. I initially encountered it on Madonna's song What It Feels Like for a Girl (2000) but I now know that it came from the 1993 film The Cement Garden which was written and directed by Andrew Birkin and based on the 1978 novel of the same name by Ian McEwan. In the film the line is spoken by the character Julie played by Charlotte Gainsbourg. I'm afraid I don't know much else about it as I've neither read the book or seen the film but the quote has always stuck in my mind. I've taken the below from a lyric search on Google.
"Girls can wear jeans and cut their hair short
Wear shirts and boots 'cause it's okay to be a boy
But for a boy to look like a girl is degrading
'Cause you think that being a girl is degrading
But secretly you'd love to know what it's like wouldn't you
What it feels like for a girl"
Wednesday, 1 April 2020
Check Up #2
Again, there's not an awful lot to report this week and I expect it will be the same for at least the next month. I'm even facing a reduction in wages due to cuts made at work because of the crisis so I doubt spending money on clothes will be a priority although there was a Tardis themed dress I saw recently that I was going to buy to wear to a now-postponed event. Still, may get the chance at another time later in the year if and when things get back to normal. The trouble is that there's no new normal at the moment. New restrictions keep coming into place all the time so it's hard to adjust to things.
One little silver lining though is that working from home allows you to dress and this week I have finally dressed for work. Finally the chance to wear some of my more work-y dresses. Normally I shy away from buying them as I have nowhere to wear them to but you all know how much I love a Clara Oswald style dress with a Peter Pan collar. So far it's been quite nice sitting taking calls, legs crossed, pad on my lap, like a secretary. Luckily I don't have any video conferences to do.
So,this period can be a great time to explore crossdressing especially if you're on your own. Want to dress for work how you've always wanted to? Why not. If only I had bought a skirt suit somewhere along the way. Perahps one day I could lean more into the bimbo and wear some pink. I can't also claim to know what spending isolation with a partner is like but who knows this time might be the ideal one to bring up crossdressing as something you're interested in. Perhaps this might be the time to experiment, suggest a clothes swapping game or dress-up day if you have kids. Now, of course I don't know everyone's familial situation and I don't pretend to but I know that the last thing you want is for someone to react badly while you can't just walk out the door. One thing I have done though is to size up a partner to see how they may possibly feel about me going a bit girlie. One good thing about being so out is that I may meet my next partner while dressed which at least would save an awkward conversation.
This may also be a good time to experiment with make-up too (something I've been meaning to) and there are lots of tutorials on YouTube. I was so tempted to keep my painted nails after the weekend but I've been trying to look as businessy as possible to try and avoid being stopped by the police when I do have to go into work. This may also be the time to write some captions or TG stories if you've always had a yearning too think up some cosplays.
So please stay safe everyone and, if you can take the chance to go girlie while you can
One little silver lining though is that working from home allows you to dress and this week I have finally dressed for work. Finally the chance to wear some of my more work-y dresses. Normally I shy away from buying them as I have nowhere to wear them to but you all know how much I love a Clara Oswald style dress with a Peter Pan collar. So far it's been quite nice sitting taking calls, legs crossed, pad on my lap, like a secretary. Luckily I don't have any video conferences to do.
So,this period can be a great time to explore crossdressing especially if you're on your own. Want to dress for work how you've always wanted to? Why not. If only I had bought a skirt suit somewhere along the way. Perahps one day I could lean more into the bimbo and wear some pink. I can't also claim to know what spending isolation with a partner is like but who knows this time might be the ideal one to bring up crossdressing as something you're interested in. Perhaps this might be the time to experiment, suggest a clothes swapping game or dress-up day if you have kids. Now, of course I don't know everyone's familial situation and I don't pretend to but I know that the last thing you want is for someone to react badly while you can't just walk out the door. One thing I have done though is to size up a partner to see how they may possibly feel about me going a bit girlie. One good thing about being so out is that I may meet my next partner while dressed which at least would save an awkward conversation.
This may also be a good time to experiment with make-up too (something I've been meaning to) and there are lots of tutorials on YouTube. I was so tempted to keep my painted nails after the weekend but I've been trying to look as businessy as possible to try and avoid being stopped by the police when I do have to go into work. This may also be the time to write some captions or TG stories if you've always had a yearning too think up some cosplays.
So please stay safe everyone and, if you can take the chance to go girlie while you can
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