So, it's been a weird week.
After what happened last weekend, I just kept throwing it all over in my mind, trying to work things out. For example, why I felt so bad this time rather than a couple of months ago. I think at that time it was a nice sunny day in a small area and I had gotten used to the situation, the people and general vibe (plus had drunk quite a bit) whereas last week it was raining and I had a lot more angst since I had to travel and wasn't sure how I would be received even though I was among friends. I still felt like I stuck out like a sore thumb and in most of the photos I look miserable. I guess it was still a positive experience all told though and it would be easier if I tried it again.
I keep thinking about the girl I'm seeing at the moment. I think she may be ok with it but there's a world of difference between crossplay and dressing. Time was I could have left it but now it may be harder to put the genie back in the bottle. Apologies if I'm repeating myself.
On something newer though, I painted my nails for the first time today. Seems a bit strange looking down and seeing them painted but overall I like it. I think body shaving, certainly my arms, is the next step. Looking down and seeing a hairy arm doesn't do you much favours when trying to go girly.
I don't think your repetition here is necessarily a bad thing. Sounds to me like you've made a decision and are sticking with it. You're right about distinctions, true enough, but you're also right about the genie.
ReplyDeleteFrom my (limited) experience, love is love. If your GF likes you she likes *you* and that includes any dressing - that's a wrapper, you're the chocolate bar/biscuit. It's the chocolate bar or biscuit that she likes, the wrapper is secondary in that regard.
That said, the wrapper is important to the biscuit because that wrapper has to reflect the biscuit. So it makes sense that you are making sure the wrapper matches the biscuit.
I am slightly jealous you've gone as far as nails and dressing, truth be told, but more happy for you that it seems to work for you and you're building confidence! Good luck with the body shaving!
All the best,
Joanna