Tuesday 25 September 2012

Tube Girl

Life can be really random at times.

Coming home on Friday, I took the tube and ended up talking to a couple of American tourists. a chat which began over something as simple as a standing position. One thing I did learn was that stereotypes are sometimes true, they said a lot of things were "quaint".

Anyway, I did get get talk to another girl, a British girl, at the same time. She was lovely to talk to and I felt calm and relaxed. As long as I get past the first stumbling block I'm fine with conversation. We even got off at the same station and carried on talking. Eventually I lost her at the barriers. I guess I could have gone after her but I thought that might be weird. I'm cursing myself for not taking the chance though. 

Maybe I'll see her again one day. She gives me hope for the future though and I left that day with a smile on my face. 

Thursday 20 September 2012

My Week#5

Apologies for not updating this sooner but it's been really busy lately.

Not been in the best of health recently, I have a cold at the moment.

I have been continuing trying to talk to strangers though and mostly succeeding apart from the last couple of days. It's all an exercise in confidence building and hopefully I may get to the stage where I'm just not scared of saying things at all. There are lots of times when I've wanted to, no matter how mundane, and felt bad because I couldn't get the words out.

However there is a reason why I'm finally typing. I'm going away for a weekend with friends in a couple of months and we usually have a fancy dress thing. This year there was going to be a Harry Pottter theme and I hadn't decided whether I was taking part yet. I had a message from a friend today asking me if I was going to take part...and told me a secret cos/crossplay twist.

This has of course piqued my interest but also set me wondering why he thought I would enjoy this. Now, obviously he has been present when I have crossplayed before and saw the Amy Pond photos (BTW really enjoying this latest series) but lately I have been getting annoyed that people expect me to do this and that if it's fancy dress the of course I'll turn up in a dress. This could be my own neurosis but it's also that I don't like doing what people expect, I don't like being stereotyped or anyone thinking they now exactly how I'm going to act.

Perhaps I could just shut up and enjoy myself. Would I though or do I think that I should just because I'm a crossdresser regardless of whether I might enjoy it? It's the same kind of dilemma that I've been struggling with for many years now.

I will expand on these details at another time but or now that's been my day.

Monday 10 September 2012

Chatting to Strangers

Ok, so my housemate lent me a book The Rules of the Game by Neil Strauss which I have to say I dismissed as one of those 'become a playa' kind of guides. I do not want to become a 'playa'. It would at least be a 'player' spelled correctly but being able to talk to women is at least a bonus. The book is full of missions and things designed to boost confidence and help you on in the dating game. To win the game is to simply get a date. I was looking through it and one of the first challenges struck me: 'Make small talk with 5 strangers".

I kept thinking about this and decided it would be something that could definitely help me so I tried it out today and...well I didn't get a date out of it but I spoke to 5 people at least. It doesn't matter whether it expands into a full blown conversation or you just get a grunt back. What matters is that you open your mouth and say something

1. Man on the train sitting next to me. I noted that the weather was colder today. I didn't receive much of a response but he soon fell asleep anyway. 

2. Woman in Waitrose. I commented on the amount of brands of water available. She smiled and agreed.

3. Man by the traffic lights. I asked if he could feel a few spits of rain. For some reason he at first thought I said 'rangers' but he more or less agreed with me. 

4. Woman on the Tube. I commented that we were always stopped at a red light at Baker Street. She smiled. 

5. Man on the steps up to the station. Weather again. I said I hoped it wasn't going to rain and he agreed. 

I think I mentioned that I'm English and therefore if I know how to talk about two things it's the weather and the failings of the transport system. Each encounter was barely a minute but knowing that I had chalked up another person pleased me and by the end I was quite proud of myself. I may try to talk to a couple of people per day just to try and get my confidence up but that will probably fall by the wayside.

 I don't know whether I will continue with the book but just doing this was a nice exercise and may make me think I can actually open my mouth next time I sit next to a pretty girl on the train.

Friday 7 September 2012

Invasion of the Hipsters

I was on lunch break last week when I spotted a group of hipsters/emo kids walking in the park. I didn't think anything of it until I saw many many more gathered in another area. Now, I was intrigued by this and asked a girl with blue hair who explained it was a meet up organised through Twitter.

Now, anyone who knows me from the Haven will know how much I love the whole eclectic emo girl look and I couldn't help seeing some really cool clothes including more cool leggings. Some of the haircuts were really odd though. I kind of wished I could have hung around with them for a bit longer.