Check-Up #9

I'm continuing my trend of not having an awful lot to talk about recently due to one thing or another. I guess it may be the time of year or the ongoing crisis although the lockdown is easing here so things may be back to normal, or approaching normal, quite soon. I'm probably still going to be on my amended work schedule for the next couple of months which is no bad thing as I've been getting more downtime recently and it's quite nice.

Anyway, I've been buying clothing again and this time I bought a smart black skirt for work. Still no changing rooms so it had to be a rough guess that my regular size would fit me and thankfully it did. I don't really have the confidence to slip it on in the store in front of people.  I know I did say it was a work skirt but I am still working from home a lot so it's mainly for that but like the traditional LBD I think a smart black skirt is something that comes in useful and already I've coupled it with some tops and it looks really nice. There are a couple of decorative buttons on the top as well and I'm a sucker for that sort of thing and I think this is also down to the costumes from Clueless and that spoiled rich girl look.

In other media, I've mainly been watching season three of Ru Paul's Drag Race as I think it's the only one I've never seen. I remember watching the first two late night in my bedroom hoping that my parents wouldn't hear and ask too many questions about why I was watching. By the time it changed channels I had moved out and was a little more confident. I'm also watching the fifth season of Drag Race All Stars and I caught an episode of Neighbours today which was Pride themed and with former Drag Race contestant Courtney Act. The show has a transgender character now as well which is quite cool and I was reading about her and the actress earlier.

Terri Is Sick #10

While I have some more ideas for potential virus themed caps (I'm sure this won't be the last) I thought I would bring this strand to a close with a nice round number and a crossdressing nurse caption.

This was originally created for Chrono180 on Rachel's Haven.

A Naughty Nurse for Halloween (2012)

Check-Up #8

One thing I notice as time goes on is that I'm getting a little more hesitant to go out in public dressed especially compared to the beginning of the year when I was prepared to do the weekly shop like it. I think it just may be the times we live in and when things bounce back a little more towards normal I may feel better about it. I still tend to hide myself a little mostly by wearing big coats but it's harder to hide when you can't nip in and out of shops anymore and have to remain in a long queue to get in. Of course I know that this isn't the real issue here but I thought I would talk about it.

If I do go out dressed it's often to a local park. I do get the odd stare but mostly things are ok. I do remember one couple looking at me very oddly while I was walking around in my new dress one hot day the other week. I'm still dressing for work which does seem to cheer me up on days I don't really feel like it. There is a lot of joy still to be found in putting together outfits and they seem to be very well received so at least I feel I'm doing something right. I did get a new cosplay outfit this week but it may need some adjustments before I can wear it out fully. It's ironic that I've managed to put together a few new cosplays to do this year but of course everything has been called off. Hopefully next year may be better for it.

I've also been watching a lot of Third Doctor era Doctor Who recently and the Doctor's companion Jo Grant had some wonderful outfits and I would love to cosplay as her at some point especially her outfit from The Three Doctors story.
Finally, vampire comedy What We Do In The Shadows started its second series on UK TV tonight and I love Nadja's big, black, lacy gothic dresses. I would still love to go full goth girl at some point just to try it if nothing else.

Breaking Free: Part One

This week I thought I would put up a piece of fiction I recently wrote.

This was my entry in the Haven Writing Challenge which had the topic of Confinement. There will be another part coming shortly. I did write it in a bit of a rush as I forgot the deadline for entries and so I would have liked to have written a bit more including more dialogue as the characters walk back to the halls at the end. I could have punched it up a bit to publish it here but I thought I would rather put it up in its original form. It  may sound a little autobiographical but it isn't really although there are bits and pieces that are inspired by various things/ideas/fantasies.

Hope you like.


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So what does confinement mean?

Well, being confined obviously. Being imprisoned, restrained, detained or held in captivity. I’m used to being confined and so much so that I thought I would never be free. The worst thing about it was that I just didn’t realise I had been confined. That confinement was my life and I just didn’t know any other way to be. I was confined to a male body and couldn’t get out.

Femininity wasn’t something I craved while growing up but it was something I saw out of the corner of my eye. Wonder Woman in her sparkly costume, make-up advertisements, long, flowing hair, girls’ school uniforms with such smart black tights and pleated skirts and every so often they all came together in someone I just envied like crazy and didn’t know why. I guess I thought I just fancied them but no matter who I dated I never came close to branching the subject of possibly trying on one of those nice dresses or maybe a skirt. No. I couldn’t let myself entertain the thought as it just wasn’t manly. It wasn’t for me and I couldn’t let it. That’s what I was told anyway, told by my relatives the television, the movies and the media. Stay in your box as that’s the way it had always been. There was that brief moment in the school play…with that blue dress …I was told it couldn’t happen again. It was embarrassing.

I hadn’t thought about it in years until I got to college and moved into the halls of residence. I found a small group of friends and we were inseparable for a while. All on the same Art Theory course so we would stay up into the night talking about… mainly rubbish but it was fun rubbish. After a late night’s drinking pre-Eurovision one night there was an idea. Lucy’s idea. What would it be like to switch clothes? Just for fun. Lucy was always suggesting odd ideas ‘just for fun’. There were three boys (me, Chris and Tom) and three girls (Lucy, Charlotte and Kim). Perfect match. I agreed reluctantly, as did we all, and so we swapped. Lucy took me into her bedroom and removed her short green dress, underwear and trainers while I did the same with my t-shirt, pants and jeans and needless to say it took one of us a longer time than the other. In fact Lucy had pretty much finished dressing by the time it took me to do up her faded pink bra. Well, put it on anyway, I still needed her help to do it up. Slipping into her pink knickers felt like something else though, so smooth and comforting. I wasn’t sure what I should feel at first and whether or not I should let myself feel pleasure for doing this. Was that wrong? When I put her black tights on my feelings doubled as I felt the nylon against my legs. I looked down and they didn’t resemble my legs at all. These were the sort of legs I would catch myself staring at while walking down the street.

The green dress fit better than I thought it would. Tighter most certainly and as Lucy zipped up the back I felt like I was being trapped in it for the night. Then she had an idea – there were wigs in the drama department, which would still be open. As I hastily tied up her trainers, feeling tight against my larger feet, she grabbed my hand and we rushed out the door and judging from the sounds in the other rooms the other guys were still struggling with bras. We ran over the common to the college, sneaked into the back room of the drama block and started trying on wigs until we found one that was the same length and shade of brown as Lucy’s hair. She jammed it on my head, gave it a little brush just to get the dust out (and some fake blood left over from a production of Dracula – I hope anyway) and give it some shape. Then we ran back and I can’t describe how free I felt running back hand in hand with Lucy.

My long hair flew around my head in the wind, I could feel the dress flying up and a gust of wind blasting my lower body. Lucy giggled and told me to stop flashing my knickers to everyone. Have I been doing dating wrong then, I asked with mock ignorance like a ditzy starlet. I just don’t know where that came from but it seemed like the right response. It certainly was to Lucy as she laughed so much all the way back asking me ‘in character’ questions. I loved it, I felt so free running back that night. In fact I don’t think I did come back that night; someone else did.